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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Anyone out there 37, 1st time pg? Need to talk! (it's long, sorry)

54 replies

phdlife · 28/03/2007 09:26

At our first (8wk) meeting my mw asked where I wanted to give birth - I said how should I know??? I'm foreign, I don't know anyone who's given birth here, and BTW OMG just found out I'm PG!!! She said oh well plenty of time to decide... In same convo she said she'd have to refer me to "Early Birth Clinic" or somesuch given my advanced age (37) so I toddled off and had a nice chat to lovely consultant about my cervix and about losing my job. No mention whatsoever of "booking" for delivery anywhere.

In the intervening weeks, I've read lots about birth, visited the local MLU, gone for 3 ante-natal and one BF class, booked in for active birth workshop there (tonight), etc. I fell in love with small, local MLU, met and liked several MWs from there, and pretty much decided that's where I want to go - the other options being a MLU or consultant-led ward at large hospital 6mi away. MWs explain that if anything makes their "labour antennae" twitch, they pop me in an ambulance and send me over there anyway, but "70% of births don't need any intervention" that they can't give.

But no-one has ever raised the question again, until last week when I mentioned it and MW said I should just check with consultant at scheduled 37-week checkup. I have been fit and healthy throughout (apart from that bastard headcold) so as far as she's concerned if I "want to give birth swinging from a chandelier that's fine" by her.

Instead I see young dr who is adamant that given my advanced age and 1st-time pg, that I am at "greatly increased risk" and must go to consultant-led ward on other side of the city!! It is impossible, she says, for me to be transferred in an amublance during labour!!! And further, according to her, this has all been sorted since day I first saw consultant!!!!! She is not articulate enough to explain what "great risks" are so I wait another 1.5hrs to see lovely consultant again and he says sensible things, but it boils down to: 25% higher chance of needing some kind of assistance (augmentation or intervention), slightly higher risk of distressed baby if my labour fails to progress, very slightly higher risk of haemorrhage, and really it's not very nice to have to go for an ambulance ride when you're in labour.

Well, no, it's not, but it's still only a 1 in 4 chance of that happening, which is no higher than the ante-natal class MWs quoted for all deliveries anyway! And frankly I am nervous that if I am in reach of dr's they will, by training, be keener to intervene sooner rather than as a last resort.

Finally consultant agrees he'll be happy if I go to MLU at big hospital, but he won't, he says, "lose too much sleep" if I decide to stay at small local MLU.

I know the whole point of this process is to have a baby at the end of it, but I came home last night , , and at being given so little info so late in the game. And now I have to re-think this decision - and fast!

Do I stick with plan A and hope for 75% chance that things'll go okay? Or do I go off and book busy, big hospital MLU where I've never been, never seen anyone, notoriously bad for parking and on the other side of town? Are we just feeling complacent because it's all been so easy so far? (sorry, not bragging!) Anyone out there given birth for 1st time at 37? Or know anything good I can read about risks?? Input please!!

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Twiglett · 28/03/2007 09:30

stick with plan A

you can be transferred if necessary

but if you think you will worry with Plan A (which I wouldn't .. but then again I had a section at 37 so what do I know ) then go to the big hospital

GooseyLoosey · 28/03/2007 09:35

I was in my 30s with first child - I decided to go to big hospital just in case, but made clear from minute 1 that I wanted to transfer to small MLU 10 miles away as soon as baby born. I had to insist on this after ds was born as they couldn't really be bothered but worked very well. Had the reassurance that all facilities were on hand through birth and then the support of midwifes after. Could you do this?

franke · 28/03/2007 09:36

Agree - stick with plan A - you are much more likely to have a 'favourable' outcome if you are in a place where you feel comfortable and less stressed. If your consultant is fine with it, that is a big plus as there won't be any pressure from there to go where you don't want to go.

Good luck

phdlife · 28/03/2007 09:53

goosey, they'd do that????? Must investigate!

franke, consultant isn't happy with plan A, just "won't lose much sleep" over it, because I am healthy (so far). He says he doesn't start worrying about me til I walk through hospital doors! (Sounds callous, but he was v nice)

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Anchovy · 28/03/2007 09:55

FWIW I had my first baby at 37 and my age was never mentioned. I raised it with my Dr at the first appointment - as in saying, with rising hysteria, "Oh My God and I'm 37 as well" and the doctor said, somewhat sharply "For goodness sake, Anchovy, you are 37 not 47" - and the subject was never mentioned again.

I DID end up having a c-section, but that was completely unrelated to age-issues (Ds had H-U-G-E head)

jdd0709 · 28/03/2007 09:59

37 isn't that old for a first baby in the scheme of things - and anyway ny understanding of the situation is that the age thing increases the chance of problems/complications ib the pregnancy like high bp, diabetes etc - if you get to 30 something weeks without any of these and are fit and healthy then I don't see why you shouldn't go to the MLU - you are far more likely to have a non-problematic birth there imo - I had first ds at 33 and was forced (had high BP) to go on the medical consultant bit instead of even the MLU birth unit at the hospital and it was awful - I'm convinced everything would have been ok in a MLU as they were over panicing about monitoring etc so ended up with a shoulder dystocia. This time I would refuse unless I had a serious medical condition. Stick to your first choice if you know you are fealthy and have no problems would be my advice. Hospital labour wards and post natal wards are hell on earth in my experience.

phdlife · 28/03/2007 10:00

HUH!!

I got a big lecture yesterday about steady decline in labour performance from age 17, falling off sharply after age 35!

wonder if it has to do with living in teen-pg capital of europe? (cynical, moi?)

did you choose the cs, anchovy, or...?

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motherinferior · 28/03/2007 10:02

I got a surprise positive pregnancy test on my 37th birthday

Phdlife, your consultant is excuse my language a total idiot. Of course they can transfer you in an ambulance. Happens all the time. Including to a 38 year old in my first antenatal group.

In my case my age, like Anchovy's, was never mentioned; in fact the only person who went on (and on and on) about my age in my second pregnancy, when I was 39, was my partner's mother - my midwife laughed like a drain when I muttered about it after MIL experience, and just referred me to a neighbour who'd had her first (at home) at 42. Another friend of mine is having her first at 42 this September, and AFAIK nobody has gone on to her about her age either.

GRRRRRRr.

MrsBadger · 28/03/2007 10:03

No technical advice, but lots of sympathy!

I have been lumped into a similar 'high risk' box depsite perfectly normal healthy pregnancy because of a (v mild and non-risky) inherited clotting disorder.
I had exactly the same experience with the inarticulate junior doctor who insisted I couldn't have a homebirth, waterbath, MLU birth or even an active labour as I'd definitely need continuous monitoring 'because of the risks'.

Haven't got back to see the consultant yet but am planning to dig my heels in a bit and suggest you do the same.
Ask to see their policy for defining 'high risk' mothers if you need more clout, but it sounds like you have the MWs at your local MLU behind you, which is a great start.

FillyjonkIsMilitantAboutFruit · 28/03/2007 10:03

phdlife, have only skimmed this cos am in hurry BUT IIRC you are in cardiff?

is the small MLU you mention caerphilly miners? and the scary one the birthing centre at the heath? if so, the heath its one floor down from the hardcore bit. I actually transfered between them when in labour. And a world away, really lovely.

it is lovely. and there is lots of parking. i was transfered from a hb first time, dp ended up overstaying the parking thing and the attendants didn't charge him.

I have actually been sold so much on the heath MLU that I would probably choose there over a HB in future, though I have always wanted a HB.

also I'd say go with your mw.

generally i'd say go with your MW not dr.

if i can give you any more info here (or generally re cardiff and babies) then do feel free to mail me: I'm [email protected] (am trying not to be on MN). I know a bit about stuff like the local NCT also.

FillyjonkIsMilitantAboutFruit · 28/03/2007 10:04

god have skimmed that, sorry so incoherant. right must go.

feetheart · 28/03/2007 10:11

I got a BFP a week after turning 40 and had an easy pg and labour. Same again when DS arrived when I was (shock horror) 43!!! Age wasn't mentioned either time, in fact the feeling was that often older Mums have a better time as they are more 'worldly wise' and prepared to expect the unexpected!

Go with what YOU are comfortable with. A relaxed environment will make the world of difference.

Good luck

phdlife · 28/03/2007 10:12

filly that is good to know, will e you later!

motherinferior it's jr dr who says I "can't" be transferred; consultant just says it isn't nice.

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phdlife · 28/03/2007 10:14

MrsB part of the prob I think is that I haven't really taken to my MW (though others at the MLU are okay) - mainly because I've felt she doesn't give me enough info!!

So did you have monitored birth, or... not yet, or..? (sorry - confused - not enough caffeine)

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cathcart · 28/03/2007 10:14

oh god phd! they certainly know how to raise your blood pressure don't they!?
I would stick with plan A because you are far more likely to be relaxed and go with the flow, but it also might be worth having a tour of the mlu at the hosp so you are also prepared incase you have to go in. Wherever you are there are always risks, but you have to do whats right for you and dh. I'd speak to mw again for more reassurance.

lulumama · 28/03/2007 10:18

FGS!!

give him a copy of 'birth over 35 ' by sheila kitzinger

what a load of nonsense
you are more likely to have an intervention free , positive birth experience, in the place you feel most comfortable and supported and secure..

of course you could be transferred in labour

why not request a home birth, that will really freak him out ! LOL!!

if you are no contra indications, and your risk level is the same as everyone else, then stick with the MLU..they cannot physcially force you to go elsewhere.....

you can tell him quite calmly you have made an informed decision and you are happy with it

phdlife · 28/03/2007 10:18

yeh cc and it was lovely and low before this!

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feetheart · 28/03/2007 10:18

Just re-read that and its not quite true about age never being mentioned. At my first appointment at the hospital when pg with DD a Registrar and MW had me booked in for an amnio before they had even met me - because of my age I told them, in no uncertain terms, what they could do with their amnio! Never met either of them again and everyone after that was great.

I would definitely agree with those who say trust your midwife not the consultant.

phdlife · 28/03/2007 10:20

aaah lulu - just the ref I needed - didn't know auntie sheila'd written on us aged crones . THANKS.

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phdlife · 28/03/2007 10:21

written "about" us, even

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MrsBadger · 28/03/2007 11:00

PhD, I'm only 20wks so will have to see how we go.

They've insisted on a uterine arterial Doppler at 24wks to check the state of the placenta, but if all is ok at that point they have no evidence that I need continuous monitoring etc.
This means I'll have a much stronger case for home/water/active etc birth so I'm saving my arguments till then...

motherinferior · 28/03/2007 11:02

No, transferring in labour isn't nice. But that is the risk any of us take when deciding, for instance, to have a home birth. Which I had at gasp 40. You do it in the knowledge that the journey to hospital will be not a barrel of laughs. But then labour IMO is not a rip-roaringly hilarious experience in any case.

phdlife · 28/03/2007 11:11

touché, motherinferior, touché!

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motherinferior · 28/03/2007 11:17

I bet your young doctor is one of those people who go on and on about 'career wimmin' who delay their Life Purpose of Procreation because they are so dedicated to their cold-hearted, acquisitive, Y-chromosomal careers. Kind of ignoring the realities of why some of us don't have babies in our 20s.

kiskidee · 28/03/2007 11:27

look up the website for the National Childbirth Trust. they will have a link to your local branch which will have an ante-natal teacher who will know all the ins and outs and more about the choices out there for your area and advise you on how to proceed.

they are a charity and you don't have to be a member to get advice from them.