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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Anyone out there 37, 1st time pg? Need to talk! (it's long, sorry)

54 replies

phdlife · 28/03/2007 09:26

At our first (8wk) meeting my mw asked where I wanted to give birth - I said how should I know??? I'm foreign, I don't know anyone who's given birth here, and BTW OMG just found out I'm PG!!! She said oh well plenty of time to decide... In same convo she said she'd have to refer me to "Early Birth Clinic" or somesuch given my advanced age (37) so I toddled off and had a nice chat to lovely consultant about my cervix and about losing my job. No mention whatsoever of "booking" for delivery anywhere.

In the intervening weeks, I've read lots about birth, visited the local MLU, gone for 3 ante-natal and one BF class, booked in for active birth workshop there (tonight), etc. I fell in love with small, local MLU, met and liked several MWs from there, and pretty much decided that's where I want to go - the other options being a MLU or consultant-led ward at large hospital 6mi away. MWs explain that if anything makes their "labour antennae" twitch, they pop me in an ambulance and send me over there anyway, but "70% of births don't need any intervention" that they can't give.

But no-one has ever raised the question again, until last week when I mentioned it and MW said I should just check with consultant at scheduled 37-week checkup. I have been fit and healthy throughout (apart from that bastard headcold) so as far as she's concerned if I "want to give birth swinging from a chandelier that's fine" by her.

Instead I see young dr who is adamant that given my advanced age and 1st-time pg, that I am at "greatly increased risk" and must go to consultant-led ward on other side of the city!! It is impossible, she says, for me to be transferred in an amublance during labour!!! And further, according to her, this has all been sorted since day I first saw consultant!!!!! She is not articulate enough to explain what "great risks" are so I wait another 1.5hrs to see lovely consultant again and he says sensible things, but it boils down to: 25% higher chance of needing some kind of assistance (augmentation or intervention), slightly higher risk of distressed baby if my labour fails to progress, very slightly higher risk of haemorrhage, and really it's not very nice to have to go for an ambulance ride when you're in labour.

Well, no, it's not, but it's still only a 1 in 4 chance of that happening, which is no higher than the ante-natal class MWs quoted for all deliveries anyway! And frankly I am nervous that if I am in reach of dr's they will, by training, be keener to intervene sooner rather than as a last resort.

Finally consultant agrees he'll be happy if I go to MLU at big hospital, but he won't, he says, "lose too much sleep" if I decide to stay at small local MLU.

I know the whole point of this process is to have a baby at the end of it, but I came home last night , , and at being given so little info so late in the game. And now I have to re-think this decision - and fast!

Do I stick with plan A and hope for 75% chance that things'll go okay? Or do I go off and book busy, big hospital MLU where I've never been, never seen anyone, notoriously bad for parking and on the other side of town? Are we just feeling complacent because it's all been so easy so far? (sorry, not bragging!) Anyone out there given birth for 1st time at 37? Or know anything good I can read about risks?? Input please!!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MrsMar · 05/04/2007 14:12

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phdlife · 05/04/2007 14:31

Fair enough MrsMars. And I know what you mean, my sister had pre-eclampsia, induction, etc, at 25. I take their point though - there's a reason there ain't that many 37yo gold medallists out there compared to 22yo's! And I was much more fit early in pg (damn month-long headcold pretty well stopped me exercising around wk 32!) so I guess it probably applies reasonably well to me.

Agreed MrsB - my one big reason for wishing to stay away from hospital is doctors' eagerness to use their particular skillset!

I am okay, though, with MW's definition of "failure to progress" as I know they will do best they can without endangering either of us, before handing over.

Think I feel that if I am in the hospital MLU, there is more temptation to 'give in', go upstairs and let ppl start "helping".

OP posts:
Jamantha · 05/04/2007 17:49

I'm a 36y first timer, and am keen (from paper descriptions and recommendation from woman at work at least) to use local hospital's mat ward. This has "limited facilities" compared to the all-singing big hospital 10 or so miles away, so there is the chance would have to be transferred. I'm prepared (at the moment anyway) to take that risk. I do understand that if there are any complications in the pregnancy or if you don't go into labour naturally they don't give you this option, but no one has indicated that this wouldn't be a suitable option for me, despite my age adn being rather overweight. So don't see why shouldn't be OK for you in my (non-medically qualified) opinion.

Aloha · 05/04/2007 17:53

Blimey, when I had dd (2nd) at 41, doctors never mentioned my age at all, and when I did, the midwife scoffed at me, and said she sees lots older.

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