Conflicting gender scans (private v NHS) - anyone else?

[caitlin91]

Hello
This is our 1st pregnancy so understandably we've been v excited and opted to have an early (i suppose) gender scan at 16wks and were told that we were expecting a boy. The lady who done the scan was great and really took her time making sure she had views from all angles before commenting on her thoughts on the gender. She said at no point during the 15 min appt did she feel she was looking at a wee girl and tbh we were thinking the same thing - there was def bits between the legs!!
On Monday we had the 20wk NHS scan and the whole experience was quite horrible and disappointing. The woman doing the scan was actually quite rude to me and my OH. She was v focussed on getting all of the measurements and rightly so - we asked her if she could have a look at the gender for confirmation. She had a v quick look and declared it was a GIRL. Obviously I was shocked and asked if she was sure - to which she had a snide reply.
When I explained about our previous scan she said
"well that's what you get for having a private scan at 16 weeks, it looks like a girl to me"
and that was the end of it. Has anyone else had a similar experience?

I spent the whole day afterwards really upset and crying as i felt like I had bonded with what I was sure was my son, and I had my heart set on a boy and I feel like it's been snatched away from me. I know this is silly and I'm so happy to know that everything's okay and the baby is healthy but I can't help it.

It's not gender, it's sex.

Not sure how the sonographer was rude, though.

Did you interrupt her when she was doing her measurements?

You've just got to laugh at some people on their soap boxes.

Thanks for all of the useful comments and feedback! It's nice to have somewhere to ask these questions. Booked in for a rescan, the clinic are keen to have another look.

I think I'll just close the thread (if that's even a thing) because I can't be arsed to contend with all of the neggy comments that are appearing now... let's not even get on to that topic.

@caitlin91 good luck and fingers crossed for a definitive answer on your scan!
Ignore all the anal comments

Yes OP, good luck! If you don't get the thread closed then do come back and give us an update

Yes please come back and update! I'm overly invested in the outcome

And god I can't stand these gendernutral posts especially when there totally off the subject! let's face it baby's are born with male or female bits stop having s dig at people for how they wish to dress there children

Come back to me when you understand the difference between sex and gender and have a better grasp of grammar and we may be able to have a decent debate.

Yes Titty that poster may come back to you - on a DIFFERENT THREAD!
I hate when threads end up like this. And often the OP decides not to come back which is frustrating when the rest of us would like an update on what the original post was actually about.

@TittyGolightly have you got such a massive issue with gender stereotyping that your scour perfectly innocent expectant parents' threads to try to make them feel like shit??? And if so, why?

What is so wrong with wanting to know if you are having a boy or a girl? More importantly what business is it of yours? And why have you turned this thread into something it isn't?

titty you'll never get them to see sense. People that race out to swap blue clothes for pink to now have to race out and swap them back are clearly a bit unhinged... They are THAT obsessed with enabling stereotypes based on sex.

I'm female and sitting here typing this in BLUE though so I"m a fruit loop too...

I'm with titty. There is nothing wrong with a girl wearing pink, and a boy wearing blue. And equally nothing wrong with the other way round. Blue and pink are just colours and should have no gender stereotype to them.

To race out to change all boy stuff for all pink stuff is a bit ott!

Not OTT at all.
The colours the the OP chooses to dress her child in are entirely up to her. At no point has she said if she has a little girl then she'll only play with dolls, or a little boy will only play with trucks, like a PP said.
And to be honest, even if she had said that - she still has not asked for your opinion on it. So I can't understand why you're here giving it!

*that the OP...

Because there are no rules saying a poster can't give an opinion on something that hasent been specifically asked for.

No the op hasent said any of those things (I never said she did ) but she did say that her parents had taken all the beautiful boys things back and exchanged for all pink. Which is what I called ott.

But like I said - often when threads derail like this, it leaves other posters who have a genuine interest in the original point of the thread not knowing the outcome, because the OP doesn't want to stick around. It's just disappointing and unnecessary when there are other threads you can post on where everyone is involved in the same debate.

OP, if you can afford to do it, I recommend getting a 4d scan. I think that would clear up any confusion.
I also think that posters should keep their own agendas off other people's threads! If the OP doesn't want to put her baby girl in clothes that society tends to associate with boys or vice versa, then so fucking what - her baby, she can dress it how she likes!

Definitely think a 4d scan is a good idea!

@Lj8893 @StinkPickle how can you "side" with someone who has purposefully sabotaged a question about identification of genitalia into the hypotheses that by virtue of returning some clothes she will consign her offspring to a life or rigidly defined colours, toys, preferences etc?

Seriously. You need to pull your heads out of your bottoms.

Hypothesis before @TittyGolightly* pounces like the Mumsnet version of Lynne Truss

The returning of the clothes wasent the issue.

Gin 😂

Seriously the way this thread has gone is fucking ridiculous.
The OP asked for advice relating to the unknown sex of her baby (don't start on the gender argument now - regardless of what she wrote we all know what she meant so let's not use any excuse!)
The majority of posters have been able to comment in relation to what she asked - and only what she asked.
If you've nothing nice to say....

Hi OP I'm a sonographer and work both in the NHS and private sector. In my experience if you call the private clinic and tell them what's happened they will probably scan you again on the proviso that if they were right you pay and if they were wrong it will be free and you may even get a complimentary scan later in your pregnancy by way of an apology. That's what's happened in the clinic where I work on the odd occasion when this has happened.

Difficult to judge from an image without seeing the whole scan and being able to look from a variety of angles but to be honest that screen shot you posted looks more like a girl to me

Oh Madame's professional girl guess!
The plot thickens when is your rescan OP?

If you read this op, I'm not sure exactly what you've decided, and if you have a re scan than I hope all goes well.
But remember the 20 week scan is not about finding out the sex, it's about checking everything is okay first and foremost.
(I think that far too many people are so concerned about finding out, they consider the 20 week scan the finding out scan, when it's not that at all.
Personally I don't see the need or point of finding out, and ruining the surprise, and I never could or would. But that's just my personal opinion).

@Caitlin91 did you have your re-scan?