Conflicting gender scans (private v NHS) - anyone else?

[caitlin91]

Hello
This is our 1st pregnancy so understandably we've been v excited and opted to have an early (i suppose) gender scan at 16wks and were told that we were expecting a boy. The lady who done the scan was great and really took her time making sure she had views from all angles before commenting on her thoughts on the gender. She said at no point during the 15 min appt did she feel she was looking at a wee girl and tbh we were thinking the same thing - there was def bits between the legs!!
On Monday we had the 20wk NHS scan and the whole experience was quite horrible and disappointing. The woman doing the scan was actually quite rude to me and my OH. She was v focussed on getting all of the measurements and rightly so - we asked her if she could have a look at the gender for confirmation. She had a v quick look and declared it was a GIRL. Obviously I was shocked and asked if she was sure - to which she had a snide reply.
When I explained about our previous scan she said
"well that's what you get for having a private scan at 16 weeks, it looks like a girl to me"
and that was the end of it. Has anyone else had a similar experience?

I spent the whole day afterwards really upset and crying as i felt like I had bonded with what I was sure was my son, and I had my heart set on a boy and I feel like it's been snatched away from me. I know this is silly and I'm so happy to know that everything's okay and the baby is healthy but I can't help it.

I understand your reaction, I think you're in shock! Of course it goes without saying that everything is ok as long as the baby is healthy, but you were all psyched up for a DS and had named him etc and it must feel a little like you've been bonding with someone else's child?? We had an early private scan as too impatient for NHS, and like you were calling our baby by their name for weeks before the NHS scan. I would have been knocked for six if sex had changed at that stage. Go back and try the sympathies of the private place for a freebie discount scan.

@LittleMissCrappy quite frankly that's a crappy little post

OP these things do happen, I would definitely call the private scan people and see what they say although I suspect you'll have to pay.

It's more usual for girls to actually be boys in terms of misdiagnosis I believe but the other easy does happen, it happened to one of my midwives ladies with my last baby. She was told boy twice but it was a girl.

Hope you get a definite answer and the potty shot!

I've heard quite a few stories of people who were told the incorrect sex in an NHS scan. Both ways too, told boy but had a girl, told girl but had a boy.

However you did get your private scan a bit early. With DD and current pregnancy I'm having private care (I'm not in the UK right now) and with DD at 16 weeks they said "probably a girl but can't confirm until after 20 weeks." I'm almost 20 weeks with DC2 now and at 16 weeks this time they said due to position they couldn't say either way. So I'm waiting patiently.

To be honest I don't think you can be 100% sure on the baby's gender until it's staring you in the face! They always say it's a professional opinion so there never sure. I was convinced from day one I was having a boy found out at 16 weeks it's a girl, confirmed again at 20 weeks .. I've had s few scans recently as baby is breech and now they are unsure .. I'm 39 weeks on Saturday so have spent the whole time bonding with my daughter.. named her even set up nursery etc so I understand where your coming from but don't dwell on it baby is happy and healthy and as I've been told 100 times over the last few weeks it could be worse. The NHS are always reluctant to discuss gender. Contact the place you had the scan they keep pictures of the baby's bits for audit purposes so they will be able to send it to you.. I done this and she does look like a girl so I'm not going to worry to much! Good luck, I've attached the potty shot of mine so you can compare x

I'm sure it's easier to get a girl wrong, so if the private scan saw a boy it's likely to be a boy.

Can anyone post their potty shot pictures so OP can compare against her video?

Plus I'm always intrigued by potty shot pictures as I'm convinced I saw a pair of balls on my scan but now I'm not sure (we didn't find out and have 12 weeks left till edd!)

@user1480264544 an you explain your potty shot?! I can't see what I'm looking at!

Here's the potty shot taken about our private scan, around 17 weeks. Both private and NHS have said boy.

So I've drawn the legs and bum outline in purple and circled the bits in pink, to be fair a few people have told me they can't see clearly but I've spent way to long thinking she's a girl lol I can't see a pair of balls so that's good enough for me lol x

Oh I can see it now @user1480264544 😂😂

Now I'm not so sure it was balls I saw on my scan! 😂😂

Girl

Boy

I've managed to pause and screen shot the video from my 16wk private scan.
Thoughts? Xx

@caitlin91 that looks very boyish to me!

More like both my sons' than my daughter's 😊

Looks like a boy to me!

My parents had bought a ton of beautiful boys bits and pieces and they've all been swapped to pink already

FFS.

I'm not very good at this, all I can see is a smooshed face!

Titty some people still like to dress boys in blue and girls in pink, and that's fine! Each to our own
The OP didn't come here to ask our opinions on how she'll dress her child.

and that's fine

I don't think it's fine at a broader level (and social scientists tend to agree) - there's a lot of children limited/harmed by (excessive) gender stereotyping that happens even in the womb and it has a massive effect on society at large. It's not something to be complacent about.

Like I said, not what the OP was asking.
There's plenty of threads on here where discussions are ongoing about the point you've raised, but this isn't one of them.

Defo looks like a boy to me! Would be very flat in that area if it was s girl, maybe little one had there legs crossed at the NHS one but I defo wouldn't worry! And god I can't stand these gendernutral posts especially when there totally off the subject! let's face it baby's are born with male or female bits stop having s dig at people for how they wish to dress there children 🙄

@TittyGolightly your comments are really unnecessary for this thread.
Just because someone wants to know whether they are having a boy or a girl doesn't mean they will only dress a boy in blue and ban him from playing with trains.

As pp said there is a time and place for this sort of viewpoint and personally I don't believe this thread to be one of those. You are hijacking it for your own soapbox it see,s to me and it's a little unfair on the OP.

From playing with anything but trains 🚂 😉

To be fair, OP did also mention swapping blue clothes to pink if it's a girl . . .

I'd say a boy based on that pic I doubt the NHS sonographer was that interested in determining for you and only had a quick look.

I had a 20 and 23 week scan with both ds1 and ds2 both times boy bits were clear as day

I'd def try for a rescan

@SayNoToCarrots no don't start this. This is getting ridiculous now.
Are you suggesting she should have put a newborn baby boy in a pink dress just to be on the safe side with gender stereotype accusers?