Breastfeeding, trying to prepare myself

[owltrousers]

Hello :)

I'm only 12+3 but I'm trying to get prepped as much as possible for the baby while I'm on my full (pitiful ) wage.

I've been given a lot of things from friends and family to help out, including bottles and a steriliser but I want to try breastfeeding first and foremost. I understand it isn't always possible and I might not feel comfortable doing it in the end but it occurred to me I'd like to set myself up for the best possible chance of taking to it.

Can I prepare myself in any way? I already have the lanisoh cream as I started getting dry, sore nipples already.

So, what do I need?
A manual pump/electric? I want DH to feed baby just as much as I can. How many bottles should I start out with?

Thanks in advance!

Loads of great advice re cluster feeding, lactation consultants, lansinoh, womanly art of breastfeeding etc.

I'd also recommend buying some hydrogel breastpads for when you start feeding - they're cooling gel pads you put over your nips after a feed and they're really soothing and stop lansinohed nipples sticking to your bra.

Re your DH sharing feeding duties - this is a great idea in theory but in practice can be harder than it sounds. In the early weeks, I did all the feeding (from breasts, expressing was too much hassle) and whenever I fed, DH brought me water, food as needed and the remote control. Bfing makes you hungry! In turn, he did pretty much every nappy and every bath. We each had our own areas of 'speciality' that way and he showed me how to bath DS when he went back to work.

Feeding for bonding isn't all that although it can seem that way. Your DH can do post-feed cuddles and sleep for baby, and pretty much everything else. Once breastfeeding is established and you and baby are happy and comfortable feeding (usually takes a few weeks), that's a good time to then think about if you're going to try expressing etc. I wouldn't buy stuff in for it in advance, you'll have plenty of time when baby is here.

And I also agree with not having formula in, it makes it too easy to reach for that if you're struggling with the odd feed, and it will mess with supply a bit. Unless you decide to mix feed, which can work fine if that suits you better.

Good luck! And definitely go to any breastfeeding sessions your hospital offers, and take DH with you if you do. His support (and knowledge) is likely to be a big factor in how you feel about breastfeeding.

Haven't read the whole thread but for me forewarned was forearmed. Don't need to spend money on books, local library should be able to help you out and be able to order stuff that's not on the shelves. I remember "baby led breastfeeding " by Gill Rapley, also check out anything by la leche league. Identify your support in advance - do local HV team have a b/f support group, breastfeeding helpline number, NCT breast feeding support helpline and groups (don't think you need to have gone to their classes or be a member to access this). Then if you've got a question you know where to go.
Get your partner educated as well as to what to expect. The book above is a fairly easy read that he can skim over. Make sure he understands that the best help might be for him to support you feeding the baby at least in the early days. He can help by keeping you fed and watered. Mine used to leave me a sandwich when he made his own for work. Sounds crazy but believe me there are likely to be days when you are glad of it. He along used to take baby for a couple of hours in the evening, held him and read stories etc, I went to bed and had a couple of hours uninterrupted sleep then he brought him up when he was ready for feeding again eg 11pm/midnight.

Lots of people saying expressing is too much like hard work, it wasn't for me so I think once you have got going with breastfeeding it is worth buying/borrowing a pump and giving it a go. Lots of tips online to make it easier e.g use water to get a good seal. My Medela Swing worked well and I get a bottle's worth in about 5-10 minutes. It is very handy to be able to leave the baby with husband/Mum etc for short periods (e.g. While you have a bath/nap!!) and this really helped me from week 2 both times.

Yes if having baby take a bottle early on is important to you then I wouldn't wait until the advised 6-8 weeks to try because by that stage they might not be keen on anything but nipple. Also don't buy any sets of bottles, you might have to try out different brands until you find one that is acceptable!

But equally if you do it early you can end up with bottle preference, which is what happened with my DS.

Good point Grainmum on buying bottles, I used Medela though as they are very like sucking from breast, baby still has to work for the milk, so fewer problems switching between the two. Also if you're only doing the occasional bottle feed you won't need many (Medela can be pricey but cheaper than formula!)

I also recommend buying the Medela Calma teats, we introduced those around 6-8 weeks to DD and when I went back to work a few months later she never had any nipple confusion.

The main thing about bottles is that many BF babies will not take them from mum and in fact if they know mum is nearby will hold out for the fresh milk from the tap. I've never seen DD drink a bottle because she's never taken one in my presence. But when I went back to work it was never a problem, from nanny or daddy.

Excellent advice on this thread. Apart from the person that says "don't have formula in the house".
I would say is: don't give up BF and be prepared with formula.
My baby ended up in NICU with dehydration and serious weight loss on day 4 as my midwifes missed the fact that my milk was late and she latched so well they felt there was no issue so when she screamed for 3 days the advice I got was "put her on the boob". When a MW came at midnight of day 3 at my insistence and saw DD being all floppy and checked out, the first question she asked was whether I had formula in the house. Which thank God I did. Still, it was a bit late as in few hours time we had to go to A&E followed by a stressful 2 days at NICU. All she needed was food.
My milk turned up two days later as I continued to BF and express while she was getting formula top ups to build up her strength.
I'm mix feeding successfully and I wish in all the various antenatal classes and even BF workshop I attended, the formula wasn't so vilified as it's got its place. And did what it's worth, I intend to BF my daughter for as long as possible.

This thread is brilliant - I feel like I should be taking notes! And @starsinyourpies - it's great to hear that expressing can work, as I am hoping to be able to do that, for various reasons.

Out of interest - I know people have mentioned lactation consultants, which was one of the options I'm currently looking into (I'm not expecting an easy time of it, so I want to be ready for early intervention), but does anyone have any experience with postnatal doulas? There are a few in my area who seem to specialise in breastfeeding, so I was considering that as an alternative.

I found the emotions of breastfeeding difficult to handle. My baby would not latch and we were both exhausted from a long labour and emcs. I pumped exclusively for 6 weeks, then switched to formula.

Like everyone says, pumping is exhausting on its own, and I had loads of milk so there was no issue with my boobs! But it was the stuff in my head that was hardest to deal with. I was so sad about it. There was no need to be, logically I know I did my best and my baby was well cared for, but it was such a disappointment when I so dearly wanted to breastfeed. Plus all the mad post-birth hormones make everything a zillion times harder. Hopefully you will have a much easier time, but if not, try not to get as stressed as I did!

As for pumping, only do it once breastfeeding is established unless like me it never was. Then if you have to rely on it, go electric. I only wish I'd had a double pump. You can buy pumps of course, but I plan on hiring a hospital grade one this time (20 weeks pregnant). The really good pumps they have in hospital (like Medula) cost a lot but save so much time. Time with your newborn is too precious to be constantly attached to a pump and unable to even hold them.

Good luck!

Make sure the midwife, either in hospital or at home, watches a feed. I needed help to get a good latch but when I did they left me to it. My DD was very sleepy through and would stop suckling fairly quickly and I couldn't understand why she never seemed satisfied, and hats allowing for newborns "always" being in the breast.

On midwife watched a whole feed and said I needed to make an effort to keep her awake so she could have a long feed and when I did that, it was a game changer.

affectionincoldclimate
Excellent advice on this thread. Apart from the person that says "don't have formula in the house".I would say is: don't give up BF and be prepared with formula

Quite. I had formula in the house. Even gave my ds 20ml on night 2 when my milk wasn't in and he cried solidly from 8pm to 5am. Milk came in at approx 9am. Ebfd after than and still going at 20mo.

Going on from what someone else said, I found blowing on her face gently (some people tickle feet) kept her awake enough to get a full feed.

DD had quite short feeds (like 5-8 minutes), and I over worried about fore milk / hind milk and when to swap breasts, so read up / get advice on that sort of thing but try not to let it take over if you can. I think I settled on same breast if last feed was short and less than an hour ago, different breast otherwise. But all milk is good, so don't stress yourself out with it. Also I think some sources say the whole thing is nonsense.

I've also since read that you can tell they've had a full feed because their hands relax, if they're making fists they aren't full apparently, though as I say it was after the fact so don't know how true it was for DD.

This thread is making me remember stuff I'd totally forgotten about!