Breastfeeding, trying to prepare myself

[owltrousers]

Hello :)

I'm only 12+3 but I'm trying to get prepped as much as possible for the baby while I'm on my full (pitiful ) wage.

I've been given a lot of things from friends and family to help out, including bottles and a steriliser but I want to try breastfeeding first and foremost. I understand it isn't always possible and I might not feel comfortable doing it in the end but it occurred to me I'd like to set myself up for the best possible chance of taking to it.

Can I prepare myself in any way? I already have the lanisoh cream as I started getting dry, sore nipples already.

So, what do I need?
A manual pump/electric? I want DH to feed baby just as much as I can. How many bottles should I start out with?

Thanks in advance!

I'm still bfing at 20mo. No block ducts. No mastitis. No thrush. No leaking. I did buy an electric pump but could never yield much expressing... a tube of lansinoh will last forever. Get some nursing vests from h&m and a breast feeding pillow. That rely is all you'll need at first.

I think mental prep is key. It's not always, but it can be really, really hard. It's more exhausting than you could ever imagine, and there might be times when you feel you really can't do it anymore. That's OK. If you keep going great - it's an amazing experience once you get through the tough parts and for me was absolutely worth persevering with. If you decide not to continue, that's great too as you'll be doing what's best for you and your baby.
Kellymom is a great website for up to date helpful information. I seriously never knew how incredible our bodies are and how amazing breast milk is.
I will say that in the beginning it may not be as easy to have your partner feed baby as much you do, as establishing breastfeeding well and having a good supply will be easier if you feed baby...but there's no reason why he can't give feeds later on... That would be my only suggestion, which you can take or leave.

If you want to try breastfeeding, I think the most important thing is to read up as much as you can before baby arrives. Learn about how breastfeeding works, what kind of feeding patterns are normal (cluster feeding for instance), how you can tell if it's working, what the common problems are. Seconding Kellymom as a useful site to look at.

Also, find out in advance what breastfeeding support you have locally. Breastfeeding cafes through Sure Start, La Leche League groups, etc. I'm on a few local breastfeeding support groups on FB, that sort of thing can provide useful support - and advice on how to get access to real life specialists locally - if you're struggling with breastfeeding.

When you're in hospital after having baby, be proactive in getting as much help as you need from the midwives and breastfeeding support workers on the postnatal ward. When I was in hospital they were usually busy, and tended to assume you were fine with feeding unless you actively asked for help.

I wouldn't worry too much about expressing milk until you've got a good start on the breastfeeding.

Read Kelly mom

Do Not I repeat NOT plan to express for your husband's convenience. It's hard work for you and possibly confusing for baby.

There are plenty ways for him to bond with his child apart from bottle feeding. For example, He can pick up the baby when it cries at night, bring it to you for feeding and then change the nappy and put baby back down. So he can be fully involved.

Forgot to say. Someone once told me 'never quit on a bad day'. This was my mantra during those early weeks and really helped get me through and keep going.

@S0ph1a

Do Not I repeat NOT plan to express for your husband's convenience. It's hard work for you and possibly confusing for baby.

I wasn't planning on it. We just hoped to tackle everything as a team, including feeding - where possible.

Invest in Amazon prime so if you find you need anything, it's only a day away.

I found a dim light for your bedside table was great for night feeds.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

I've got a 6 day old tiny, breastfeeding is going well and haven't really needed anything except plenty of muslins and a nursing vest top from H&M for when people visit. I think I've had an easy time of it though.

Something I'd suggest would be looking into expressing colustrum in the last couple of weeks of pregnancy if you are able to and keeping it in the freezer. I didn't end up using mine but I had a bit of an epic birth and it was a great comfort knowing that I could supplement him for a couple of days if I needed to. There's plenty of tips online or I can elaborate more if you'd like.

All the best x

@adlettippa Great idea, I will definitely try this, thank you.

Congratulations on your little one :)

I found pumping was such a chore I just couldn't be bothered to do it more than a few times, yes it was nice for DP to give DD a bottle but for me it wasn't worth the effort or expense. I have a manual and electric pump, I found I got more milk using the handheld one. Wait until baby is with you to buy things like that. The early weeks of breastfeeding are hard work and I wouldn't add in pumping if not necessary. You DH can help with feeding once you start weaning at 6 months, he will be far more useful then than occasionally giving a bottle after you've spent hours pumping.

You will probably only need one tube of lanisoh, I am still bf dd at 10 months and I haven't even used half a tube.

The most useful thing for you to do is read read read everything you can find about breastfeeding, kellymom is great. I have my DMs old breastfeeding book from the 90s (can't remember the name unfortunately and it is in the room dd is napping in at the moment) and it was far more useful than any of the midwives or health visitors could have been especially regarding positioning. If you are prepared for cluster feeding in particular that will help you, many women think it's abnormal and baby must not be getting enough milk but that simply isn't true, they are building your supply by constantly feeding.

If you want to spend money save it for a lactation consultant after baby is here, that is the most helpful thing money could buy regarding breastfeeding. I wish we had got one when dd was tiny as she had tongue tie unbeknownst to us as the hospital and HVs missed it, feeding with it wasn't painful but could be uncomfortable, dd eventually broke it herself with a spoon at 6 months and feeding became much easier. If it had been spotted at the time I might not have had to spend the first two weeks hand expressing and syringe feeding on a two hourly schedule day and night.

Good bras are a must, get properly fitted and allow for some room, my boobs practically doubled in size when my milk came in. I personally prefer soft bras you can just pull to the side over the clip strap ones. I have a few from a company called kindred bravely which you can get on amazon. Good if you have a small back size and huge boobs as they have sizes S M L etc then S- busty M - busty. I really struggled finding suitable things as I have a 26 inch ribcage and nowhere seems to do even 28 back size. Get bras right at the end though so you don't end up having to buy more.

I bought and read 'the womanly art of breastfeeding ' found it very useful but I like to read and be prepared in that way. I marked pages that I found important so I could go back and read again if I was having issues and for dp to read. I know things don't always go by the book but it helped me. Find a local support group and go before you have your baby arrives if you can, that way you know people before you need them . Good luck and congratulations.

Honestly pumping is a right faff - Dad can help out in other ways. It doesn't mean you aren't a team.

Later on when you want to get out it can be useful but in the early days it's important that you feed as much as baby wants to establish your milk supply. Dad can be part of the team by supporting you in that - having a supportive partner who doesn't get arsey because "they want to feed the baby too" is one of the best things you can have wrt breastfeeding.

Make sure he reads up on stuff too so he knows things like cluster feeding are normal.

And I only needed lansinoh for a day or two so I wouldn't bother stocking up necessarily - a tube will keep you going for a few days and it's easy enough to buy more.

I would say also give yourself 4-6 weeks before you decide you can't cope with it as for most people it really does get much easier after this point.

I had to stop breastfeeding my son at 6 months and I still miss it.

Agree with getting DH to go to any classes on bf. Mine was the only man at the hospital's bf workshop-he felt 'a right tit' in his words, I think pun was intended.... but when I got mastitis he recognised it immediately (I didn't) and had a 10 day course of antibiotics off the out of hours doctor within an hour, and when DD wouldn't latch helped me try different positions (I hadn't thought of it). His support at 3am was also invaluable, he held my hand when it hurt and brought drinks/snacks etc without a second thought. I successfully bf DD1 to 23 months and DD2 going strong at 4.5 months.

Also second not having formula in the house for same reasons as previous posters. I think a certain amount of bloody-mindedness is required to bf successfully and it would be too easy to crack onto formula on a bad night if you have it handy.

'The Food of Love' by Kate Evans is a brilliant breast feeding guide, I feel happy when I read it! It's got a lovely approach.

Thanks so much everyone.

I will certainly check out the books mentioned and leave the breast pump off the to buy list.

@silkpyjamasallday thank you for the bra advice, I have 30" ribcage but G cup boobs just regularly so I was really not looking forward to tackling bras!

Savoy cabbage leaves. OK, maybe not right now, but make a note. They are amazing for engorgement and taking the heat out of your boobs. Keep one in the fridge and once the milk comes in ahhh!

There is so much good advice in this thread - I especially agree with the need for sheer bloodymindedness. This has definitely been true in my case. I'm now 7 weeks in - my baby didn't latch at all until day 6. For the first week he was fed formula from a cup, until my milk came in (by me expressing with the hospital's pump every 3 hours). From day 6 until week 5 we had to battle for up to half an hour to get him to latch, every single time. It slowly started to get easier and then it sort of clicked, about a week and a half ago. I can't explain how glad I am that I stuck with it. That's why I think it's so important to read up - I knew that sometimes this is just how it goes, and now we're naturals. It's my proudest achievement.

Of course this is not the case for everyone, and some people take to it straight away! But in my case, even though there were many times I wanted to give up, it was worth the perseverance. Good luck :)

Hex is right. For all the 'it shouldn't hurt if you are doing it right' it does bloody hurt! Some babies latch on straight away, others don't. DS1 was fed drops from a teaspoon in the early days.

I don't think any of mine have been problem free: mastitis, thrush, cracked nipples. (I have 4DCs, all bf) But perseverance and determination play an important part, because once you are over those problems it often comes good and that's when it becomes easy.

When you do want a nursing bra as opposed to a soft nursing vest, check out Anita nursing bras. Not sure if they go down to a 30 but you could up a band size and down a cup size to try. I'm a 32JJ and searched high and low for nursing bras that didn't look hideous.

And get Netflix or Amazon prime. Box sets are you friend for cluster feeding x

YY re checking for tongue tie. Our lactation consultant spotted it at her home visit when it hadn't been mentioned at hospital - she helped me improve his latch rather than cutting it at first, then when I texted her that he had started clamping down hard, she knew why and came back again to divide the tie.

This is a brilliant thread. Would second not buying anything up you need it. Definetly get baby checked for tongue tie (if you can, before you leave hospital by the lactation consultant or infant feeding specialist.)

For me, it was definitely determination and sheer bloody mindedness! It does hurt in the beginning, it is sore, but it's so worth it. Best advice I'd give would be to find your local breastfeeding group/clinic. Good, knowledgeable advice and the right kind of support is priceless.

And lansinoh makes an excellent chapstick. Also, order two 6 foot charger leads for your phone/tablet and always keep your nearest device charging because it's a bugger when baby drops off on you and you realise you're on 4% battery!

Leave buying nursing bras till as close as possible to your due date -- your breasts may double in size in the interim!

If you have a hippy NCT BF teacher like mine, don't necessarily buy her line about how newborn babies all know how to BF and will wriggle up your torso to your breasts. Mine didn't get the memo.

Oh, and there are lactation consultants and lactation consultants -- I had to make do with whoever I could find over the Easter weekend, and she seemed baffled by the fact I had no supply, charged me £150 and said she thought I had breast cancer.

Like the others are saying, educating yourself is key! The day my milk came in was a painful day. I thought my boobs were going to explode, I was in tears with it. My midwife told me to express to ease the pressure but then said not to express 'too much' as your body will end up producing even more. It does regulate itself after a few days, thank goodness.

Cluster feeding is a bitch, but it does end (I can't believe I'm saying that after weeks of not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!) I put my baby on a bottle of expressed milk just before bed so I knew her tummy was full, and it did the trick.

Lansinoh is amazing. It makes a good lip balm too!

Breast milk collection shells have been a good purchase for me: www.amazon.co.uk/Medela-008-0240-Breastmilk-Collection-Shells/dp/B000WHL2RQ - when your milk lets down when baby is feeding your other boob will leak. These bad boys go into your bra and collect the extra milk which saves your bra getting soaked and you can use the milk. I add mine into a bottle during the day and accumulate quite a lot!

Finally, breastfeeding is demanding and hard work (even when you master it!) but it's the most amazing thing and such a lovely bonding experience xx

(Bona fides - BF DD for 16 months, 12 of which while working so also expressed)

My best buys were

• book: "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding"
• post-natal sessions with a lactation consultant
• Lansinoh cream (important bc safe for baby to ingest, some other creams are not)
• gel breast pads to sooth burning nipples
• Mother's Milk Tea (or other lactation-promotion teas/supplements)
• breast milk collection cup - I got the Milkies Milk Saver on Amazon. In the early leaky days you can collect enough milk to make up a bottle without the need to express.

I knew I was going back to work but I didn't even buy a pump until DD was 4/5 weeks old. Make sure you have BF down before spending the money. If you're not going back to work then there's really no rush to buy one at all. Pumping is my least favorite part of BF, it's much nicer to feed directly.

YES it hurts at first. But when the LC came after 2 weeks of agony she was able to reposition the latch so that the pain was significantly reduced and within a few days completely gone.