SOICAL services rang nervous

[user1496701154]

Me and my other half both have anxiety and depression now am 31 weeks pregnant and social services have rang me I am so.nervous. I have a past of physical abuse although I have not seen that person in years. They want to.come for a home visit does anyone know what this initials. I am looking forward to becoming a mam and so is my partner to become a dad. I love my little girl so much already.

SS get a bad press, I've been put back under the MH team but if I hadn't I would probably be seeing SS due to prior MH issues.

I know plenty parents (including myself and DH I hope) with MH Issues who are brilliant parents.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

I can understand involvement I did phone back and am just waiting for them to arrange a visit. I feel mental stable we have plans and that in place for when our little one is here. I will try not to worry me and my partner are sensible people.

Rubyfeet, you've lurched from telling the OP to hide signs of depression and to clean her house, then onto the OP being herself and not hiding anything! Do you think social workers are so unskilled that they can't assess past a clean home! I don't think you're offering the OP very helpful info at all.

Do not listen to the scare stories.

I've been ill to the point of hospitalisation before and there has never been mention of my (blonde hair, blue eyed) DD going anywhere.

I have bi-polar and my DH has schizophrenia the only involvement we have had was a false allegation by my ex partner.

They may well only see you once.
You child will not automatically be a child in need.
They may offer you 'Early Help'
They want to know if you are well and coping ok.
They don't have the time or resources to get involved with families who are doing fine.

But I will say- it came good in the end!

You'll be fine! The threshold for intervention is high. Just be yourself ☺️

Please don't worry, they just want to make sure that you and your partner have all the support you might need so that you all, and baby, can have a healthy and happy start. Be honest with them and if they offer help consider taking it.

Goodness, you'll have been reassured by this thread then, won't you?! All sorts of rubbish has been helpfully posted to get you stressed about SS involvement.

As other posters have said, immaculate housing isn't necessary, honesty is necessary (don't listen to advice to withhold how you feel - it will be obvious and you'll just seem nervous and make the social worker wonder why you're behaving strangely) - the social worker won't be prying, they're just trying to gain enough information to satisfy themselves that you are in a position to cope.

Your baby won't necessarily be a 'child in need' - if the SW feels you will cope with universal services (the services any parent can access, such as health visitors, baby groups, etc.), then they will close the case, or perhaps arrange to follow up with another visit in later pregnancy.

The threshold is really quite high for SS involvement now.

Ruby what completely ignorant and unhelpful comments you have made.

OP, be yourself. They will be looking to support. Good luck with the baby

Fraggle those of us who have had SS involvement (and not just involvement through a friend) know what a bloody wonderful (and difficult!) job you all do.
Ignore the ones who criticise.

Well said TheFirstMrsDV
It's totally unnecessary to get the OP scared of social services. They haven't got the time or resources to waste.

I always think it's good to have a chat or pop round, see if someone needs help (if situation means they may be vulnerable or need some help) and then help can be out in place if needed /no help is needed but they know where to contact if things change.

That's much better than not doing early help checks, friendly chats etc and then ending up in a situation where someone has no support who needs it and a much more unpleasant situation unfolds such as child protection. (Not saying everyone without help would be child protection by the way. More, I think prevention and support where needed is better than a parent who adores their child not coping and ending up neglecting them).

Social workers can offer fab support. We've had a few. Very dramatic family events and disabled DS. They're people in the real thick of the community and can help with some really basic stuff that actually makes a difference in life.

We got bumped across to family support, then due to not meeting criteria dropped off that. My family worker was lovely too. She could get answers to my stupid questions like if DS1 went to school X how would that effect DS2 and DD's schooling options.

I did a spell working supporting families with homestart. One of the things talked about was how we often got involved when things were really already in a bad place. If we could have introduced ourselves in pregnancy and just said 'hey were here', to families where maybe there are historical mental health issues or DV issues we may be able to offer support just that bit sooner and not be breaking down barriers with exhausted isolated mums.

You sound really together and excited about having a baby. Thats great. It's also fine for everyday not to be a bed of roses.

Whilst I think bizarre situations do occur at every extreme in general social workers work long hours with large case loads because they really care about people and bend over backwards to help people make the very best of their lot.

I too was rather intimidated by first social worker HOUSE INSPECTION home visit, my house was clean, DC not allowed to breathe incase anything smudged. I soon realised they weren't actually judging finer details of my home hygiene, just a quick check that we all had beds, bedding no pet shit on the floor etc!

I had some social services involvement due to my ex and I found them nothing but supportive. Please don't stress - they're not out to get your baby, they're really not.

You've obviously been flagged up as possibly being in need of some support once the baby is born, and the meeting will just be to discuss how you're feeling, if you need any extra help etc. It's something they have to do and if they see that you're settled, happy, coping well etc they'll write their report and close the case.

You sound like you will convince them. You've certainly convinced me

That's got to be one of the stupidest things I've ever read on here.

I realised what I said was not helpful to the op- which is why I changed tack.

From my experience though (and I did say I had a negative opinion due to an experience) I will always be cautious of social services in my area. I have never needed any intervention myself, but I would not trust the Social services in my area.

I am glad you have all had positive experiences of social services- that is reassuring for the op.

But, my view is borne out of experience, rather than ignorance and I am well aware of how social services operate in my area. They have got so many things wrong- extreme interventions where not necessary and no interventions when the warning signs were obvious. The dealings were with people high up in the service- so this is an institutional problem in my area, rather than a one off.

Rubyfeet! You continue to make huge generalisations about 'an' experience, one experience. Social workers/Social services have a duty to intervene in family life (often when it's not wanted). The very nature and complexities of some situations means that we don't always get it right and often people are left feeling angry and annoyed. On the whole however and i speak from vast experience, a huge amount of great work is done.
I wouldn't normally bite at someone on MN but your language and opinions have been ignorant.
Now please, back to the OP and her thread.

No- not one case- let me name a few.

Rochdale and Rotherham sex rings and the role of social services, baby P, victoria climbie, rochdale accusations of satanism where 16 children were taken from their parents. I am sure there's many more. Social workers are not all infallible, caring beings that always get things right as you are trying to assert.

So yes- let's go back to the op.

Ruby try to remember that this thread is not about you.
The op asked for advice.
A pregnant woman with anxiety.
All you have done is share scare stories.
Why would you do that?

Save from from telling her to make her house spotless what actual advice have you offered?

That's why I changed my tack and explained myself- so why do you continue to attack?

I'm going to bed- goodnight

Ruby you're coming across as just wanting to scare OP and bash SS, perhaps that is why you are receiving replies you feel are attacking?

To op

I didn't intend to scare you. My point about social workers being nosey was meant to be supportive as I know many of us find some agencies intrusive sometimes.

I hope you can see that in the second post I did try to explain that social services have to be involved due to the sad things that may happen when women have post natal depression- Bristol example- case in point.
I did try to explain that I was bias and that I did have a negative experience of social workers- obviously the positive experiences on this board outweigh the negative.

After being accused of being ignorant and basing my views of social workers on one experience- I felt the need to list some of the mistakes that social services have made including not investigating child grooming and investigating accusations of satanism! These cases are in no way similar to yours- so these were not intended to worry you.

I really wish you well with your pregnancy.

I promise you now, I just got out of an abusive relationship today 4 days after giving birth having found out he was cheating the whole time I was in hospital as I wouldn't talk to him when I was in labour (think cat 1 C-section) and the midwives said they would try to get social involved. My point is its a very typical thing and if anything a good thing to make sure you're safe and your little baby is safe. They just want to help and look after you because they're people. And although I don't know you, I'm sure you have absolutely nothing to hide from them now so as long as you're honest and upfront with them nothing bad will happen x

Thank you I am very happy to become a parent it's like a dream come true to become a parent. I just got nervous and yet I want to become a social worker in The further to help people seems silly I know.