Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Is it wrong to give baby the same name as their first cousin?

66 replies

Busybecca · 20/06/2017 22:30

My all time favourite name has always been Rose. I always intended to use it if I was lucky enough to have a girl. My brother and sister in law have a Rose. We live an hour apart and see each other a maximum of five times per year. Would it wrong of me to use the name too? This is my last baby and I feel like I'll always regret it if I don't use it. I don't like any longer versions like Rosalind, I just love Rose. What do you think?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Greylilypad · 21/06/2017 09:58

Having the same name as an uncle is entirely different. In that case, it is two different generations. Lots of people get called after uncles; aunts or parents etc.

Nodowntime · 21/06/2017 14:08

So you only had boys until now, and now you are pregnant with a girl? What would be the age gap between the cousins?

To be honest, even if there is a big age gap I wouldn't. When I was pregnant at some point, thinking I might have a girl, I told everyone the name I really loved and planned for her, and called my bump by that name :) I ended up having a boy, I thought he was my last DC.

Five years later my DSis had her DD3, by that time I remarried. She named her DD3 by my beloved name, to be honest I did joke about her 'stealing' my name, but didn't mind in the least, I was happy the name was used in the family.
Then four years later I had a DD, if her cousin wasn't already named that, I would have used the name, it was still my number one choice, however due to my DN being named that, it never even occurred to me though the cousins live in different countries and only see each other once every three years maybe!
I was absolutely lost for a name tbh, and about a week after birth I ended up naming her my sister's name though at home we use a shortened version not easily traceable to the full version and which was never used for my DSis. DD's middle name is Rose though

PotteringAlong · 21/06/2017 14:13

Weird. Grandparents don't want two grandchildren both called Rose. There's a whole myriad of names out there. Pick another one.

EssentialHummus · 21/06/2017 14:25

We're in this situation - pregnant, chose a name very early on, SIL - who lives abroad and who we see mayyyybe once every two years - named her new DD "our" name. I'm not sure what we'll do.

CherriesInTheSnow · 21/06/2017 14:42

Surprised tbh that people will deprive themselves of a name for their child that they love and have an affinity with because a relative they barely see is also called it.

It's hardly as if it's going to ruin a relationship, or as if it's not a pretty common name anyway. Life is too short and if it's the name you envisage your little girl having, just use it.

Original poster

Busybecca · 21/06/2017 14:47

That's how I feel Cherries. Absolutely no one we see daily, weekly or even monthly will know she has a cousin of the same name.

OP posts:

DuggeeHugs · 21/06/2017 14:52

Personally I'd go ahead and call your DD Rose. Your child should be given a name you love - if others love the name too, that's a bonus

CherriesInTheSnow · 21/06/2017 14:53

Just go for it :) We I have a nephew Jack who has a cousin Jack, no one cares one jot, honestly. We are only 2 hours away as well!

Im pregnant with my second and if they are a boy, then I have a name for them that is the only boys name that I love and have always envisioned him being called. Nothing at all could prevent me calling this baby that name if he is indeed a boy, no matter who ends up naming their baby it during my pregnancy!

It's also not as if they have come up with an elaborately unique name that you are "copying", it's a lovely, pretty name.

MikeUniformMike · 21/06/2017 14:55

Is there an age gap? If your DH's niece is 15 or something then use it. If you love the name, use it but don't be surprised if people think it's odd.
Could she be Rose Middlename at her grandparents?

A neighbour used to always refer to her grandchildren by Firstname Middlename.

listentobirdsong · 21/06/2017 14:59

I would never personally do this to be honest. However, although I'd find it a little odd it wouldn't bother me if a family member named the child the same name as dd. Have you spoken to them about it?

MuffinMaiden · 21/06/2017 15:05

If it's your BIL, does that mean they'll share a surname too? That'll add to the confusion, and if the age gap is small it doesn't help! If the age gap is large you should have really had time to find a new name you like.

I think you can get away with it with the distance, but I wouldn't be suprised if your SIL posts a thread on here complaining

speak2me · 21/06/2017 15:05

Sounds like we had the same situation but the opposite way around! Our DC was born first, say he was called 'Toby'. 18months later my husbands sister has a son and called him 'Tobias', (her husband is from the native speaking county). They said they talked about it loads and agreed they should go with it because they are 6hrs drive from us and will see us only once or twice a year which I do understand, but it is very confusing for the grandparents who are always calling them the wrong name! I was annoyed at first but now I've mellowed and taken it as a compliment! It's still odd thought when we are together as a family, I would suggest talking to them about it first but be prepared that they will not like it!

MummyGofboys · 21/06/2017 15:15

I don't find it weird at all especially if you aren't close. My sister and our cousin are both called laura

Nodowntime · 21/06/2017 15:42

In the situations where I knew this - only one really, my cousins' cousins (not on my relatives' side), two boys of similar ages were named the same, they lived in the same city though, and the name was very common, a bit like Jack, which I thought everyone in the family found severely lacking in imagination, except possibly the parents. (Though I agree swiping a cousin's unique name would be more bizarre). I don't think the parents regretted it, but the boys didn't particularly enjoyed the fact that they were called the same. However they lived in the same city and their GPs lived there, so the fact of sharing a name was rubbed in their faces all the time.

OP, you didn't say, what would be the age gap between the cousins? And how far along are you, have you even had a scan, are you 100% you are expecting your first DD?
Also, you say you think it's your last DC, I've heard it so many times before from people who ended up having more, including myself Imagine it's inevitable that you WILL go on to have another DD, surely you'd be able to come up with a name for her which is not a Rose? maybe you could choose that name now :)

Or just call her what you planned all along, not the end of the world. What does your DH say?

Hollyhop17 · 21/06/2017 17:27

Its a bit weird to be honest. Your LO's grandparents will have two grandkids with the same name. I guess if your DILs dont mind then go for it, but there are so many names out there...

annlee3817 · 21/06/2017 17:31

To me it's not really different to a son being named after his Dad, If you like the name you should go for it. However you may change your mind anyway once she is born, we had two favourites and decided on the day :)

Original poster

Busybecca · 21/06/2017 23:34

The age gap will be 4 years. I already have two DDs and didn't use it for them but this will be my last DC so it's my last chance. I'm 26 weeks - definitely another DD.

OP posts:

Floellabella · 22/06/2017 07:38

OP it sounds as though you have already made up your mind

Hollyhop17 · 22/06/2017 07:53

If you really love it and already have 2 daughters why didn't you use it for one of them?!

Sweetyboo · 22/06/2017 08:29

There is no right or wrong when it comes to your child. Maybe its too late to reply but just choose what you like. I gave my son the name we love even tho it was my 1st couz name & ppl moan we didnt care & now every1 love it & says it was fine to call him same.

Checklist · 22/06/2017 08:41

We did it - I'd always said if I have a girl, I will call her DD2. It never occurred to us to ask SIL and BIL, if they minded as their DD1 had the same name! DH had already used a family name for DD1, so he was happy to go with my choice for DD2. The whole family uses each other's names as middle names, so SIL used DH's first name for her DS' middle name.

As it happens, it's a name with many diminutives, and first cousin has always been known by one of these anyway!

Nodowntime · 22/06/2017 09:40

My all time favourite name has always been Rose. I always intended to use it if I was lucky enough to have a girl.
I already have two DDs and didn't use it for them

I'm sorry, but this really doesn't add up. Maybe it wasn't an all time favourite after all?

CherriesInTheSnow · 22/06/2017 09:51

Does put a bit if a different spin on it doesn't it

Nodowntime · 22/06/2017 09:51

But in the end, call her Rose if you are so desperate to, though obviously had you done it like you intended with your DD1 you probably would be the first to call the baby in the family by that name and there wouldn't be a problem (or it'd be SIL's problem? Incidentally, if your DD1 was called Rose and then SIL and BIL used it for their DD, would you be completely happy about it?)

As I said, parents usually don't regret using their favourite name, it's the children who sometimes don't particularly enjoy being 'second' Rose/Jack/Amelia etc. However if they don't see their cousins and paternal GPs often it might not be an issue for them. When I was considering it for my youngest it was about no.60th popular on the girls names list, so again it's not like you obviously copied someone's unique name.

SaS2014 · 22/06/2017 10:19

My favourite girls name, name dh and I chose to use for a girl should we ever gave one, was used by his sister 18 months ago. I'm now due a little girl this year. We absolutely will not be using the name anymore. While we currently live very far awsy and see them only couple of times a year we hope that that will be short term and long term hope to live near family and be close with them so it would be too much we felt to have 2 girls, first cousins, less than 2 years apart in age with sane name.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread