Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Telling work after a pay rise?

33 replies

owltrousers · 19/06/2017 16:00

Hello!

I'm 10+2 today and due my 12 week scan next Tuesday (which will be 11+3 but everyone says thats ok?) I also have a meeting with my bosses this Wednesday which I'm pretty sure is going to be about my pay, they have been promising me a pay rise for months and we've had some very profitable months lately so I think they are going to offer me a rise at this meeting.

I need to tell work about being PG but I wanted to wait until a good time to tell them in person and ideally I wanted to wait until after the 12 week scan for obvious reasons.

Will they be annoyed at me if I accept the pay rise then a week later tell them I'm PG? Would it better for me to be honest with them at the meeting this week? What would you do?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

sweetheart · 19/06/2017 16:02

It seems like that meeting would be a good oppertunity to tell them but I'd wait until after they have confirmed your pay rise if I'm honest - sort of an "any other business" item on the end of the agenda.

Carley27 · 19/06/2017 16:03

I would just accept the pay rise and say nothing until after your 12 week scan.

Being pregnant doesn't stop you being deserving of a pay rise :)

ScarletBegonia1234 · 19/06/2017 16:04

I wouldn't tell them. I would discuss pay, get it in writing and then tell them in a couple of weeks. And I love my job/my boss! As a manager I wouldn't think twice about that timing either

Original poster

owltrousers · 19/06/2017 16:07

I forgot to add I'll need the time off next Tuesday for the scan but I'm not allowed to book holiday at short notice, would pulling a sicky be totally unacceptable?

OP posts:

TheMerryWidow1 · 19/06/2017 16:08

tell them you are pg after your scan, you are still entitled to the payrise regardless you've already done the work.

PragmaticWench · 19/06/2017 16:17

Can you just say that you have a hospital appointment?

Original poster

owltrousers · 19/06/2017 16:18

@PragmaticWench I work Mon-Thurs so if I do that they'll just say I should have scheduled it for a Friday and given more notice, they're very fussy about these things!

OP posts:

CoffeeAndCupcakes85 · 19/06/2017 16:40

Definitely don't tell them before they confirm your pay rise. Preferably don't tell them before they confirm it in writing. As for saying you need to arrange appointments on non-working days, just say that you were given this date and are having trouble getting it changed. Could you tell them you have a medical appointment now and see if you can work a different day that week?

CoffeeAndCupcakes85 · 19/06/2017 16:41

I.e. Work the Friday that week?

YoureNotASausage · 19/06/2017 16:43

You don't have to tell them till you're 24wks.

Lostinaseaofbubbles · 19/06/2017 16:44

With my first pregnancy I was told my performance made me ineligible for a rise. I appealed and was asked why I felt I should be paid more to go off for a year and that maybe they would have considered my appeal if I'd not been 7 months pregnant.

With my second pregnancy I told them at the end of the meeting where I'd been offered a pay rise.

Absolutely wait till after the meeting.

PeachesandPie · 19/06/2017 17:12

I waited until I was 14 weeks to tell work as I was waiting for confirmation of my pay rise which was being hotly negotiated! Definitely wait until after they have confirmed it otherwise they might well find a reason not to give the pay rise.

Kittysparks1 · 19/06/2017 17:44

I told my work I was pregnant early on as I was very unwell. I found out 4 weeks later I was first in line for a promotion to be told "the timing isn't right".
Absolutely gutted, wish I didn't tell them so early.

Elkalv · 19/06/2017 22:57

It is illegal to not give you deserved pay rise because you are pg. so it should make no difference to them, so you should wait actually after you get it and even couple of weeks more. You should be able to reschedule your doc appointment, if not then sick leave it is.

Original poster

owltrousers · 20/06/2017 08:31

Thanks everyone. I think I'm going to hold off telling them, I'll go sick on Tuesday (tbf I have been feeling V unwell every day this week and not had any time off yet) and then tell them the week after.

OP posts:

Original poster

owltrousers · 21/06/2017 15:31

Hi so I'm just bringing this thread back because I've had the meeting with my bosses.

The first thing they asked me was "When are you planning on having babies?" I was totally thrown and mumbled something about not knowing really and that we'd probably wait for financial reasons..

The whole time I was going over in my head should I say now, or carry on lying? Then my boss started to say that they would need as much notice as possible as it was only a small company etc... and if we were even thinking about trying (!) they'd want to know.. so I blurted out I'M 10 WEEKS PREGNANT.

There was a long pause... then my boss asked why I'd lied? I said I was getting flustered and didn't really want to tell them until after 12 weeks. I apologised and then they congratulated me. Lots of odd silences and a frosty air... and then they asked what my plans are for mat leave and returning to work. I said I'd want to come back as I love my job.

I feel really on edge about the whole situation now. I know they should not have asked me such personal questions and really, its up to me when I tell them. Do you think I did the right thing in the situation?

OP posts:

Original poster

owltrousers · 21/06/2017 15:32

I forgot to mention, they still offered the pay rise

OP posts:

Paddybare · 21/06/2017 15:33

Someone much more knowledgeable will be along soon but that is a horrendous situation to have been confronted with.

Completely out of order

user1498055568 · 21/06/2017 15:37

You are a kind person even thinking about it.

It doesn't hurt to tell you boss after you get your pay rise!!!

I didn't tell my boss I was pregnant until I was 16 weeks and they were fine about it.

StealthPolarBear · 21/06/2017 15:38

That's dreadful

Bluerose27 · 21/06/2017 15:43

I thought it was illegal to ask you that question??

And what did he mean about telling them if you were thinking about trying?? Were they expecting you to say "I'm off home now, I'm feeling a little bit racy tonight so I'm going to give hubby a massage in my bra and knickers and hopefully we'll have great sex. What are your plans? Oh the cinema? Well, enjoy, see you tomorrow, I'll let you know if hubby's massage had a happy ending"

I'm outraged on your behalf!

CoffeeAndCupcakes85 · 21/06/2017 16:05

That's appalling. I'm so sorry.

Lemondrop99 · 21/06/2017 16:07

Is it legal to ask someone that???!! I'm fairly sure it's not.

You have absolutely no obligation to advise them before 25 weeks if you choose not to, so don't let them make you feel bad about 'lying'. I'm glad you got the pay rise but, small company or not, that was really poorly handled by them

Original poster

owltrousers · 21/06/2017 16:25

Ok i'm glad its not just me that thought the questioning was out of order.

They'd taken me for lunch, bought mine for me, given me a pay rise and a bonus of £100 so I guess I was a little thrown and not as angry as I should have been at the time.

I've sent an email confirming all details of the pregnancy that we spoke of, mainly just so I have everything in writing - I don't trust them not to try and sack me!

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 21/06/2017 16:43

It's legal to ask the question

Flip

1 2