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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

why do people think it's ok to ask rude questions about your pregnancy?!

53 replies

PregnantGrrrl · 16/03/2007 13:13

I've told work that i am expecting, having gone back on Monday after maternity leave

I have lost count of the number of people who have thought it perfectly reasonable to ask me (or even assume) that it was unplanned. If one more person says 'was it an accident then?', i will scream!

aside from the fact it was planned, what do they want me to say? 'oh yes, totally unwanted, we're really gutted'

i might get a maternity Tshirt made that just says 'No, it wasn't an accidnet!'

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

luxlife · 16/03/2007 14:44

i wouldnt ask but i would wonder the same, if you worked with me. just because usually people want to get going with their career a bit before having another baby, and you will be off soon, again. but at the end of the day, who cares, do what you want

fryalot · 16/03/2007 14:45

cashncarry - he was

Original poster

PregnantGrrrl · 16/03/2007 14:46

i figured i'd get my babies out of the way, then work my way up afterwards. i'm only 25.

but still- why does it matter? why is it any of their business?

OP posts:

luxlife · 16/03/2007 14:51

humans are nosy, we are curious and we wonder.

but i garantee you, after they ask you (or think about it) its out of their mind in the next second. because at the end of the day most of us dont really care about what the others are doing with theirs lives. thats why its a waste of time to worry about what other people say. unless, of course, they are people you care about.

foxybrown · 16/03/2007 14:59

I'm pregnant with no. 4 and its exactly the same. Bastards.

Whizzz · 16/03/2007 15:04

I hate it when people ask "are you having any more?" - WHAT business is of of theirs!!

(may a good reply would be : "Well, DH & I might have sex again ......")

Woooozle100 · 16/03/2007 15:46

haha - liking this thread.

When I was pg whith dd I remember thinking it was like you somehow become public property when yr pg - its OK to ask rude, personal stuff, comment on your size / shape (oooh aren't you big???!!!! sure its not twins) and make outrageous presumtions on your behalf (the 'I suppose yr wanting a boy / girl' remarks). It drove me mad when aquantances / collegues wanted to touch my stomach too (gettoff - its mostly pies anyway )

MIndyou - also agree that I've been guilty of saying cack stuff myself to other pg women cos of lack of other stuff to say (did you find out the sex?) Dunno, prolly cos pregnancy is so literally 'out there' and such and obvious state people feel they have to comment on it.

BabyMadwithBump · 16/03/2007 15:48

What would you put on a T-shirt, saying?

conkertree · 16/03/2007 15:50

ooh the - so you'll be wanting a girl comment really annoys me. My mil keeps saying it - she was desperate for a girl and ended up with three boys.

So she keeps going on and on about how i will be wanting a girl, and no matter how much i say - actually i will be delighted with either - she really doesnt get it. I do worry actually that she wont be very interested in it if its a boy - but that will be her loss.

conkertree · 16/03/2007 15:50

babymad - that one from mothercare sounded great - should get them made up - sure there would be a decent market

danceswithaSPRINGinherstep · 16/03/2007 15:51

Oh bah humbug you lot. It's obvious you're pg so people think they've got something that you will want to talk about. Obviously evil genius' the lot of them

Woooozle100 · 16/03/2007 15:51

I hope its a puppy

conkertree · 16/03/2007 15:53

but theres plenty you can talk about without asking if it was planned or not - which is really pretty rude - more thoughtless than evil genius' really

marieg76 · 16/03/2007 15:53

I'm only 11 weeks so no one has noticed yet. I'm dreading the inevitable comments from my family of "oh you should watch your weight etc" - my BMI is 25.5 - hardly obese.

Also, I will have to try very hard not to lamp people if they try to touch my tummy!! Love the suggestions for verbal comebacks by they way!

BabyMadwithBump · 16/03/2007 15:58

My MIL sell's them for 14.99/19.99 but I get them for £10, with what ever you want on them!

fryalot · 16/03/2007 15:59

When pg with ds, we seemed to get asked by everyone if we knew what it was. dp used to answer with a look of total awe: they've told us it's...

A baby!

ejt1764 · 16/03/2007 16:00

When pg with ds, if asked "ooh, do you know what you're having?" ,my answer was always ....

"Well, I'm hoping for a baby"

strangely enough, people tended not to ask any others after that!

ejt1764 · 16/03/2007 16:00

sorry squonk - x post!!

LadyOfTheFlowers · 16/03/2007 16:01

lol -whe ds1, dh and me and brand new ds2 got into the lift to leave the hospital after the birth, an old lady said :
'oh,look, isn't he lovely, very big though. did you tear dear?'
as she touched my arm, trying to comfort me.
i didnt say anything, was stunned, everyone else in the lift stared at the floor.

fryalot · 16/03/2007 16:01

hee hee - it did seem to work though, you're right.

fryalot · 16/03/2007 16:03

ladyoftheflowers: that reminds me, when dd2 was about five days old, we took her shopping and whilst waiting for the lift, this little old lady was telling us about her baby... how he used to be that small, and he'd look up at her with his big blue eyes (me and dp were nearly in tears) then she looked straight at us and said "mind you, he's 74 now" which made us pmsl!

lins1uk · 16/03/2007 16:04

i know the feeling when i told my work one girl said to me are you keeping it !!!!
of course i am what a thing to say really wound me up.

fryalot · 16/03/2007 16:04

LadyOfTheFlowers · 16/03/2007 16:06

lol @ squonk!

kayzr · 17/03/2007 13:40

I got loads of complaints about the fact I wasn't married when I got pregnant. I found out I was 4 weeks gone the day before I got married. I've been married 8 months on the 15th and baby is due tomorrow. That was really annoying and "You only got married because you are expecting". How anyone can arrange a wedding in under 24 hours I'll never know.

Also people who I have never met saying "Are you breastfeeding?"

I just want to scream at them!!!

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