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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

aibu to be upset

37 replies

loulouxx · 06/05/2017 21:14

I'm 32 weeks pregnant and today had lower back pain and tightenings in my tummy,hubby was meant to be going out but cancelled as he felt bad leaving me...until I said just go out theres nothing you can do for me anyway,no sooner had I said that he was dressed and out the door,i don't know if its hormones but ive been sat in tears since he left,hes not even text me to see how I am and now I'm thinking things like hes going to cheat on me,he never has before and hes not like that but my mind is driving me mad and I just feel so upset

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NapQueen · 06/05/2017 21:16

I think youve just had a fresh batch of hormones. Honestly they screw with your mind!!

How is the aching and pain?

Could you have yourself a warm bath and some chocolate and shove something funny on the telly?

PurpleDaisies · 06/05/2017 21:17

Try not to panic. You told him it was ok to go so logically you shouldn't be upset that he did (I know it's not always easy to think of it dispassionately).

Had he cheated before? Why do you think he will cheat now?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 06/05/2017 21:17

This sounds like a massive overreaction. There's no reason to be so paranoid. If you wanted DH to stay home, you shouldn't have told him to go out. As you've got the house to yourself can you make the most of it? I'd watch some telly DH hated, eat chocolate and do my nails.

ChickenBhuna · 06/05/2017 21:17

Poor bloke was probably confused! It seems he was happy to stay with you but you sent him away.

I hope you're physically okay though OP. Take care.

MaisyPops · 06/05/2017 21:19

You need to calm down (said supportively, not aggressively)

He was a good egg and cancelled to stay with you. He only went out when you assured him it was ok. He probably isn't going to text through the night because that might feel like he's rubbing it in that he's out.

Hormones are rubbish. I second the idea of a bath and something funny on the telly. Or call a friend. Then try to enjoy an early ish night.

Original poster

loulouxx · 06/05/2017 21:19

thing is ive known for weeks that he was going out and I was looking forward to watching bgt and the keith and paddy show,and doing a bit of online shopping but just feel shitty now,the aching is fine now but I think I'm just pissed off that he hasn't even bothered to text to make sure I'm ok

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Original poster

loulouxx · 06/05/2017 21:20

hes not cheated before I don't know why I am thinking he will?maybe cos I'm pregnant and disgusting?

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PurpleDaisies · 06/05/2017 21:21

I think it's a bit precious (but understand) to expect a text when you told him you were fine enough for him to go.

Do you think he would come home if you needed him to?

NapQueen · 06/05/2017 21:22

He probably thinks "ill not disturb her, she will be asleep or engrossed in some good telly"

At the end of the day OP you are a grown woman so if you needed him you could get in touch. Maybe he thinks you are ok (which really you are) and so hasnt felt the need to check.

TotallyFkingClueless · 06/05/2017 21:24

It's most likely hormones. Is this your first baby? The last trimester of my pregnancy was emotional for me. I had quite a strong nesting instinct and I incorporated my DH into my nest. I wanted him around me a lot. If you have no grounds to think he will cheat on you then my advice would be to let him enjoy his night out while you enjoy some peace and quite.

NotEvenListening · 06/05/2017 21:24

I'm 32 weeks and did something very similar last week in telling him to go out when I didn't really want him to and spent another day crying over nothing, I'm putting the blame solely on the hormones. My Oh is also hopeless at texting and it drives me mad. Try a nice warm bath and an early night.

Original poster

loulouxx · 06/05/2017 21:25

yes he would definitely come home if I went into labour,i know I told him to go but I think its just the way he couldn't get out quick enough and now hasn't even text to see if I'm ok,id rang 111 at about half 6 cos we didn't want to go up the hospital,they were getting someone to ring me back to tell me what to do,i know I told him to go but maybe I didn't actually think he would

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Original poster

loulouxx · 06/05/2017 21:26

second baby,im not normally like this so is defo my hormones

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PurpleDaisies · 06/05/2017 21:27

If he was disappointed to cancel, wouldn't it be understandable that he was really happy to be able to go?

If you didn't want him to go, you shouldn't have told him to. It's s but unfair to he annoyed that he's done something you told him was ok with you.

haveacupoftea · 06/05/2017 21:29

I'm sure he thinks if there was anything wrong you would ring him - I know mine would.

This is his last night out for a while so really I would just try to calm down and let him enjoy it. There are two types of men IMO - loyal men and cheaters. The cheaters will cheat wherever they go - on a night out, at work, when they're 'at a friends'. And similarly the loyal blokes will be faithful wherever they go. You've said yourself you've got a good man so relax

Original poster

loulouxx · 06/05/2017 21:30

I think that's what it is,it was quite scary getting them pains and yes he had arranged to go out weeks ago,and I know he cancelled even though I didn't ask him to,but when I said don't worry just go he just went,i still think he could have text,also hes not gone out local hes an hour away by train

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Original poster

loulouxx · 06/05/2017 21:33

maybe I subconsciously told him to go cos I didn't think he would,i know I shouldn't be upset and that I did tell him to go but I just cant help feeling upset

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PurpleDaisies · 06/05/2017 21:35

I've spent far too much time being angry with people who can't read my mind. Things are much better now I say what I actually want and mean.

What can you do that will take your mind off things? Have you got something nice to eat or watch?

Original poster

loulouxx · 06/05/2017 21:38

had some chocolate but that's not made me feel any better,watching sat night tv but cant take my mind off things

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Original poster

loulouxx · 06/05/2017 21:41

really feel like texting him a sarcastic message,like thanks for checking how I am

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Original poster

loulouxx · 06/05/2017 21:43

Ive even been on fb to see if his mates have been on it,they have all been on fb while they are out (my hubby doesn't have fb)so why cant he text me while they are doing that

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haveacupoftea · 06/05/2017 21:44

Are you worried that you're in pre labour or something OP?

haveacupoftea · 06/05/2017 21:45

Ps really don't think you should text him sarcastic messages, it won't help either of you

PurpleDaisies · 06/05/2017 21:48

really feel like texting him a sarcastic message,like thanks for checking how I am

How do you think that will make them situation better?

Do you want him to come home? If so, tell him. If you're just annoyed he did what you told him to and didn't guess you meant the opposite, don't text him.

Original poster

loulouxx · 06/05/2017 21:50

yeah I had lower back pain and tightenings in my tummy and sorry if tmi but felt like I had trickled a bit,pain went on for a few hours he cancelled going out,pains eased a bit but I rang 111 just to see what they said,then whilst waiting for them to call back I said just go out as he did seem a bit disappointed and I felt a bit guilty especially if it doesn't turn out to be anything,but I think I just didn't expect him to go,and now I'm pissed off cos he obviously hasn't given me a second thought

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