Comments from mil about my pregnant body

[user1485778793]

I'm 29 weeks pregnant and went to a family celebration last weekend with the in laws. I'd been in their car 2 minutes before I'd been insulted twice by my mil about my body. My baby has a severe heart defect and I'm already feeling bad that I haven't been able to produce a 'perfectly' healthy baby. I can't deal with her. She has been crying constantly since we found out about the babys heart, even though my and my partner have come to terms with it and are now enjoying this little baby. She announced to everyone at the event that I was defiantly stacking weight on....I've actually only put a few pounds on, only my tummy, every where else is same as before.

I'm not sure whether to confront her or just ignore. She is an exceptionally controlling woman anyway. Sil says she won't change. My mother is mortified at how rude she is. I'm not a confrontational person but I'm so upset. I saw her the following day and couldn't bare to look at her.

Unfortunately many MIL are difficult to deal with, I don't know why it is! I really do think a lot of time it is the jealousy of their son having a new woman as his number 1. As with the comments about your pregnancy.. it can be a time where it becomes unmistakedly clear that their interest Is solely in the baby and not with you (unlike your own mum). I think this is why most women gravitate towards their own mums for support and help with the baby.
I would begin to distance myself from her if I were you, if she is already controlling and nasty as you say. If you don't do it now she's going to become even more of a monster once your son arrives. Boundaries are very healthy for people like this.
She may not realize how offensive she is being and may be overly obsessing about your health, because of the baby. But if it's affecting you negatively you need to create some space.
I get it- my mil can do no wrong, even when I tell her she's hurt my feelings. I am always the one made out to be too sensitive. There is no rationalizing with these sort of people. Irrational people do not have rational thoughts. If your dh has already corrected her comments and she is still making them, she isn't getting the message and will most likely not stop. It's an entitlement thing (of course she can say what shed like because she is your dh mum ..)
See her the amount of time you can deal with a rude person to where it doesn't start affecting your overall peace. For me my limit is about 2x a month period. Any more time than that and it messes up my overall happiness since I'll be stewing over the rudeness/passive aggression.
Will be think of you and your little guy! You sound like a strong mum and happy you and your dh have found the strength to get through this.

Just a thought, although it may be way off the mark.
What if she feels you putting on weight is a good thing? Especially if she was referring to your tummy then she thinks you are doing a good job and the baby is growing well?
Could be completely wrong but it crossed my mind ( not that I'd ever say it to a pregnant lady!)

Christ, it's all about her isn't it?

Gosh, maybe it's best to nip it in the bud now to avoid further issues re control and boundaries when baby does come along?

You DH should be dealing with her but it might be best for you to be party to it so it doesnt look like you've sent him. You know exactly what's said then.

Good luck!!

It's funny because I've actually lost some weight....I'm lighter now than before I was pregnant even though baby is growing