Babies never alone until 6 months?

[SpringSpringSpring]

I was reading up on SIDS following another thread. If babies should always sleep in the same room as you, I guess that means in the evening they should be downstairs with you until you go bed?

Just wondering how it works and if you did this, did it affect trying to set up a bedtime routine?

Sorry if its a stupid question but I had only thought about night-time sleeping so far.

I put mine upstairs alone in the early evening (7.30-10.30 ish) from around 4 months when he moved into a cot. Before that we had a Moses basket upstairs and downstairs. Both ours have stayed in our room until 7/8months but it was important for my sanity to have a bedtime routine so I compromised on that.
Obviously was extra extra careful about putting them down on their backs, away from any coverings etc. We also had a breathing monitor although I don't know how much they actually work!

My LO is 4.5 months old. Since he was born, he's been in a Moses basket during the day in the living area when he's asleep - i move this around as I move around the house, so he's basically with me all the time. He's in it even if I'm in the bathroom having a shower, or if I'm cooking in the kitchen etc. He does go through phases still where he will only nap on me in which case I just chill on the sofa and enjoy the cuddles!

At night time he sleeps in a next 2 me crib by my side of the bed. For the first part of the night he will sleep in his Moses basket in the living room with us then I tend to move him to our room when he wakes usually about 10pm for his feed at which point I also go to bed.

I'm not sure if this is taking the guidance to an extreme but as a first time parent this is how I've interpreted it and we've settled into a routine. I intend for him to sleep in our room until he's at least 6 months old. I'm sure different things work for different people but this works for me and DH and we feel comfortable with it. It is admittedly quite a commitment to always be with the LO but this isn't forever. I still manage to get jobs done around the house just with the LO
in tow.

Mine did - I didn't find it a pain really though, since they were feeding anyhow.

Some kids wouldn't sleep on their back even if you try - DS2 did with no problem, but DS1 had a jack knife maneuver from birth which put him on his side - even in hospital they took one look at him and just left him to it!

Mine did - I didn't find it a pain really though, since they were feeding anyhow.

Some kids wouldn't sleep on their back even if you try - DS2 did with no problem, but DS1 had a jack knife maneuver from birth which put him on his side - even in hospital they took one look at him and just left him to it!

Kept all 3 of mine in with me overnight in my room till 6 months but all of them were upstairs for naps/ 7pm bedtime from about 2 months as they all slept better in the dark with no background noise.

The advise came in after if had my oldest 2 and I saw a few friends keep their babies with them constantly and then struggled with their babies going in to a bedtime routine/ sleeping alone and I didn't want to go down that route.

stargirl1701 that last article was very interesting but, again, there is nothing about regulating breathing or to clearly indicate why a baby is safer in the same room as you. I'll still probably keep DS in the same room as us until he's 6 months, I just don't know why!

I put all my children upstairs to sleep in evenings from around 8 weeks I would stay downstairs and go to bed at normal time!

I know 2 children only who sadly died from SIDS both where only weeks one and was in bed co sleeping with parent when they passed!

I honestly believe you just need to be sensible regarding bumpers, blankets etc but sadly if it's going to happen there is nothing you can do (confirmed to my friend by the doctor when her son passed) to stop it

I've always keep DS (just 6 months) in the same room as me on an evening and will admit he now refuses to be put down so do see why people are saying they ignored the guide lines.

My life would be a lot easier if I wasn't holding him constantly and worrying about waking him if i sneeze etc. However I would not feel comfortable taking a risk with his life (no matter how small the risk) just for convenience sake.

In the end it comes down to your attitude to risk, and what you feel comfortable doing.

DS is 3 months and sleeps up in our room in his Moses basket from about 7:30pm until I go up later on. He's done this for maybe 3 weeks now. We have a video monitor which I watch fairly religiously and check on him every now and then.

Fully intend to keep him in with us til at least 6 months. Partly because we haven't built his cot/bought a mattress yet, and partly as I suspect when I go back to working nights DP will want him in the same room because he's lazy!

I never fully understood this either. I remember asking at an NHS session and getting daggers for doing so:

What's the ideal size of room for two adults and a baby? Surely some rooms are too small, and air circulation would be poor
Should the window and/or bedroom door be open?
What about the risk of you kicking the duvet onto the baby?
If you co-sleep, is there a type of mattress you shouldn't use? (Eg memory foam as air doesn't circulate)
Etc

I wasn't trying to be a shitbag, I just genuinely didn't understand why the advice was as it was from a technical perspective, and I had tried to find out

Until my DS was 6 months he always napped and overnight slept in the same room as us. Sometimes he would nap while I was in the shower or I would quickly Hoover another room but I tried to follow SIDS advice.

At 6 months I moved him into his own room
& we got him an Angel Monitor, it's given me a lot of peace of mind as I know people who have lost babies to SIDS so I'm very aware of it.

When they're young they nap and feed a lot so it also made sense to have him nearby. From 10 weeks he started sleeping through the night so we would just go to bed at the same time as him (we have a TV in the bedroom).

I think as he was close to us it also got him used to normal household sounds

@raviolidreaming

We did the same. There is no why yet, unfortunately. Just best guesses and lots of theories. It helped me to know just how incredibly rare it is nowadays.

The thing with SIDS research, is obviously they can't experiment with babies, all they can do is look at deaths and see if there are any common factors - so while we can say broadly which babies are more likely to die of SIDS (front sleepers, babies of smokers, formula fed babies, those sleeping alone) we only have theories as to why those factors have an effect.

I had all 3 of mine in the Moses basket downstairs while we were downstairs and then took them upstairs when we went to bed. If they wouldn't settle (which was often in the first 3 months at least), they would sleep on me (while I was awake)...

During the night, I slept in babies rooms for the 1st 12 weeks and then had the Angelcare monitor & sensor pad on...I know this isn't foolproof..

They all woke multiple times in the night to bfed and I would walk them around the room to settle them and often end up sleeping in the bed in their room (baby in Moses basket)...

Basically I followed the babies lead...which I'll do again with no.4..

I'm not in the UK and the guidelines in this country aren't the same but I have read advice from different countries and have adopted some I.e. Baby sleeping on back etc..etc...

Mmm interesting. I actually never thought about this (despite being aware of advice) because of the setup of the flat we were living in when DD was that age, and the fact that I carried her in a sling pretty much everywhere and she napped on me or OH most of the time during the day/evening. Instinctively though I always felt the need to keep her close, actually had her in our room until 12 months even in our new house :)

So I guess, I would say always err on the side of caution with babies, and you will likely find that they sleep well near you regardless, even if you are shuffling them to different rooms. Or you may find you don't want to have them sleeping separately either. I'm pregnant now and DC2 won't be joining DD in the big room until 9 - 12 months, just because she's in there too and it will be a worry for me to have DD in her toddler bed and a baby in the cot. Congrats on your baby!

beargrass I wish we could have been accidental shitbags at classes together!

Wait and see what happens when your baby is here as they are all so different!

I have only just got a routine with DD at nearly 9 months and she will now go down about 9pm, in the first few weeks she would only really sleep on me during the day so Id let her nap downstairs then do the last feed and bed when I was ready to sleep, even when she started to go to sleep earlier downstairs she would stir so much with reflux etc. that I just couldnt be bothered with constantly up and down th3 stairs dealing with her and was just easier to have her downstairs with me.

Now she finally sleeps for a good stretch she goes to bed a bit earlier by herself and I get a bit of an evening child free which is lovely. Im quite jealous of the mums with babies who slept so well so early!

raviolidreaming

Yeah I wasn't popular that night

Really interesting, thank you all!

DD slept in a cot next to the bed until 5 months because DH's snoring was keeping her awake. We lived in a tiny flat at the time so she wasn't too far away. I was intending to go to 6 months as per guidance but oh well. For the new one we plan to do 6 months but will be flexible as needed.

SIDS guidance is just that - guidance - but the top things suggested to limit it are:

• baby sleeping on back
• baby sleeping in same room as others for 6 months
• exclusive breastfeeding
• no/limited exposure to smoking

Everyone's family makes their own choices but that is what the medical community suggests. If you can do the above then why not.

This is the second thread on this in two days.

You will always get some people who say my baby was in their own room from 2 weeks. You need to read the medical advice and decide what is best for your family.

Babies are not able to recognise a routine until at least 4 months. My daughter still rarely sleeps on her own on a evening now at 11 months as that is what she demands. During the day she naps outside and I now leave the push chair in the garden.

If your are breast feeding then you will want to go to bed early and evening you are not you will still be very tired and want to go to bed early.

This is the second thread on this in two days.

I was asking a specific question about evening routines and people have been really helpful. Why the policing?

Ravioli take a look at this article. It points out that baby's sleeping in the same room as their parents are less likely to sleep to deeply which in turn reduces the liklihood of sleep apnea. It also says the following:

"Even the mother's expelled carbon dioxide (CO2) is not wasted in a cosleeping situation; the amount of CO2 the mother expires in her breath acts to stimulate infant breathing (17). Expelled CO2 appears to act as a potential back-up should the baby's own internal drive to breathe falters or slows, since the baby's nasal regions can both detect and respond to the presence of this gas by breathing faster."

It's a very interesting article and gives lots of reasons why sleeping in the same room as your baby is beneficial - bear in mind when it says "co-sleeping" above, it refers to sleeping with the baby within arms reach as described at the beginning of the article.

Hopefully this will help to convince you on the reasons why baby's should sleep in the same room as their parents! I honestly can't understand why anyone would consider doing differently, the thought of my brand new baby being so far away at night terrifies me!

www.lalecheleague.org/nb/nbjanfeb09p4.html

I agree with you oliversmummy and I too can't understand why people wouldn't want their brand new baby sleeping within their reach and eyesight. I'm not saying you mus t go to the toilet etc and leave baby for a few minutes but I really dont understand why you wouldn't want your newborn to be next to you through the night.

oliversmummy26, I will be keeping my DS in with us until he's 6 months - I have never said otherwise - and possibly longer as we like having him in with her us. However, he is further than arm's reach away from me and I do suspect this article only considers co-sleeping or the cots that attach to the bed as acceptable? It was interesting though - thank you