How old was baby when moved across to their own room?

[laurenann23]

Hi everyone! Me and my OH are looking to rent somewhere for a year and we're not sure whether to get a 2 or 1 bedroom place! How long did your baby stay in your room until you moved them across?

Ds1: 4 months.... he kept waking everytime I turned in the bed , so had to move.
Dd: 6 months, she was a feeder so it was easier to have her near me.
Ds2: 12 month, didn't want the baby to grow up

"What do people understand the reasons for having them in with you to be?"

Because lactation works best with regular close physical contact between a mother and baby, day and night.

Also because they are less likely to die if they sleep in your room.

On the other hand, although they are more likely to die and you may be more likely to struggle with breastfeeding, you may sleep better with them in another room.

That's harsh Mini!
No-one chooses sleep over potential death of a child!! The guidelines are guidelines, not rules, and people presumably make the best decision for them.

But WHY are they less likely to die in the same room? What reason? Many people can't breastfeed so that reason doesn't apply to anyone. I know three people who have sufferer cot deaths and they have all been asleep in the same room. So I'm asking what extra safenet does being in with you give? I'm not judging anyone on their decisions so frankly
I think your sarky comment about sleep is really low.

I believe the research shows that when young babies are close to their mothers during sleep they experience apnea much less frequently.

There are a couple of receptors up your nose that no one knew what they were for but in recent years scientists have begun to think it is do with early sleep regulation. Baby smells mother, which creates the right hormones to regulate their breathing.

Obviously that's not a very technical explanation.

3 year old still in with us as we are in a 1 bed flat..

Thanks Holy I think that's a great explanation! The point I was trying to make was that saying a baby is 'more likely' to die in another room is very alarmist. Frankly, this awful stuff happens sometimes wherever the baby is sleeping. We don't fully understand the reasons, guidelines change all the time, and new parents don't need more things to beat themselves up about. Do what works for your family.

Pfb about 6 weeks, second born around 2 weeks I think

2.5 years in andhe still not and we now have a 8 month in with us too

Our ds was 16 months. I would gladly have kept him with us for longer but he was waking up every night when we went to bed, so we had to do something
Also we wanted to put him in a toddler bed, so had to have him in his own room for that really

"But WHY are they less likely to die in the same room? What reason? "

SIDS is still a mystery. Scientists don't really know why certain practices are associated with higher SIDS rates - prone sleeping, formula feeding, separate rooms etc, they just know that they are.

"Many people can't breastfeed so that reason doesn't apply to anyone"

95 - 98% of women can breastfeed in some capacity. Outright lactation failure requiring a baby to be 100% ff is actually pretty rare, as evidenced by breastfeeding rates in countries like Norway, where 95% of babies are still being breastfed when they're 4 weeks old.

"The point I was trying to make was that saying a baby is 'more likely' to die in another room is very alarmist"

It's the truth. They are. I think that's pretty alarming, which is why I chose to have my very young babies sleeping in with me.

"We don't fully understand the reasons, guidelines change all the time"

Guidelines are changed as new research is done and evidence comes to light.

They're not changed at random in a meaningless way.

All of them have been over two years. Not really through choice but because they're such shit hit sleepers that I got more sleep if I could pick them up from next to me and feed them, or feed them lying down from about three months.

At six months all of mine have been waking at least seven times a night

You may very well be quoting perfectly legitimate research mini. But there's a way to raise awareness in a nice and respectful manner.

What you're doing is alienating your audience with your Little Miss High & Mighty tone. There's just no need for it. Chill out.

Oh great, so now your baby is more likely to die if you formula feed as well? People are going to have a lot to add to the guilt list!

It would be great if the world was black and white like this. They are guidelines. And as one of the 2-5% who really did have full lactation failure, one baby who ended up in special care with a 20% body weight loss as no-one picked it up, it's pretty upsetting to be told that my resulting formula feeding made my baby 'more likely' to die.

You might want to rethink how your language on these topics might make people feel who choose, for whatever reason, to formula feed or move their child into a different room. SIDS is very rarely a parents fault and often completely unavoidable.

Ds 1&2 were 6 months.As soon as they went into their own room it meant getting up when they woke, patting tiny backs through cot bars, sitting in the dark, feeling like we wanted to cry with them for lack of sleep.

Ds3 however, decided he liked co-sleeping and so, we caved in and let him share our bed until he was two then dh took a side off his cot and raised the mattress so it extended our bed space.He is 3 now and spends between 8-3am in his bedroom, then hops into our bed until 7.30am. It has been absolute bliss. We have never slept so well. I am seriously hoping dc4 will be a keen co-sleeper!

Dd1 3 years had a one bed flat too until she was 3
Dd2 6 months but she was back in our bed at 12 months and still there at 19 months

4 weeks, couldn't get any sleep with the snuffling!

But she was just next door so we could still hear her pretty well

https://www.isisonline.org.uk/hcp/wherebabiesssleep/roomalone/

This is interesting:

"Not only has an increased risk of SIDS been strongly associated with solitary infant sleep, but we now also know there are other consequences for babies who are left in rooms alone to 'sleep'. For instance Hayes et al (1996) found that infants and children who were solitary sleepers had a much stronger attachment to a security object and were more likely to be disturbed by that object's absence than infants who did not sleep alone. In a recent study Tollenaar et al (2012) examined the stress reactivity of 2 month old infants who slept alone or in proximity to their parents. Infants with a solitary sleeping arrangement in their first month of life showed a heightened cortisol response to a mild physical stressor (a bathing session) at 5 weeks. The authors suggest that solitary sleeping in the first month of life is associated with heightened sensitivity of the HPA-axis to a mild stressor, possibly due to less nocturnal parental availability as external stress regulator."

And I agree with MrsHenryWales...please do raise awareness, this site is an important tool for many many parents. But your tone is not nice and doesn't help spread your message.

I moved DD into her own room at 2.5 months. She out grew her Moses basket and would wake herself up quite often, and I'd bought a cotbed so thought I'd give it a try. From then on she slept through the night. I don't see a problem with it at all, it's a guideline not law and no one knows your baby like you do.

When I was being signed off midwifery care the midwife told me her youngest daughter was moved into her own room at 3 days.

Don't ignore the baby when crying, don't use the bed bumper things, and get an alarm.

Poison if you were unable to breastfeed and chose to put your baby in his or her own room I can see that it would be pretty upsetting to read that these behaviours are associated with higher rates of SIDS.

We can only do our best on the basis of the information we have and the resources we have at the time.

I agree - awareness is one thing but speaking in an alarmist and uppity manner is quite another.