childcare whilst in labour - solutions needed please!

[user1489673675]

Hi all, I've got a bit of a dilemma regarding childcare whilst in labour with number 2 and I'm just after a bit of solidarity/advice from anyone who's been in the same boat.

My son has just turned two and I'm due to have our second at the start of June. The problem is that we don't have anybody to look after our son whilst in labour. My parents and parents in law all died really young so we haven't got grandparents to call on. We were counting on my brother and sister in law but they found out that they can't have children at the same time that we found out I was pregnant and are really struggling with the news. It seems horribly insensitive to ask them to babysit whilst I give birth. They are also on holiday from my due date for two weeks. My sister lives at the other end of the country and has agreed to book a week off work to come down and help out but that's a bit of a lottery given that we have no idea when the baby will arrive. I've got a few friends I could ask but every single one of them has just given birth to their second babies in the past few weeks. I can't help but feel that my request would be pretty unpopular!

I have considered a homebirth but a recent urine sample revealed group b strep so that's a no go. I really can't come up with a solution that doesn't involve my husband missing the birth (which I'm fine with but he is not willing to consider). I saw the midwife this morning and she said I wouldn't be able to take my son to the hospital with us (I was thinking that I'd have an epidural and thus it wouldn't be too traumatic then maybe my husband wouldn't mind waiting outside with him during the final push). I have heard that some nannies offer an emergency service but I'm reluctant to leave my son with a stranger given that I've never left him with anyone before (no childcare)! I realise that this may be a compromise that I'll have to accept ultimately but I'm just wondering if anyone has any pearls of wisdom as I'm driving myself crazy trying to think of a solution! Thanks in advance.
L x

Stitch, why don't you offer to take the OP's DC, as you're so full of self importance the milk of human kindness?

OP, my NCT group ran a second time around course - is it worth seeing if there is one near you? Good way to make friends and you might be able to help each other out around due dates.

With my second, if my parents hadn't made it, I had women from my first NCT group, but of course I hadn't moved, which made it easier.

Op has said She's happy to do it alone so her DH can be with their DS. No one is saying there there, the fairies will sort it.

Such a needlessly cruel post when a woman is pregnant and perhaps vulnerable and needing support. On a parent's forum. Where we seek and offer support. Oh such irony from you Stitch.

I am actually in shock at Stitch's comment, totally totally uncalled for.

Op I think that speaking to the other parents/carers at your group is a good idea, either as a way to improve friendships so you can ask one of them or to find out if they have any local suggestions, or trying to find a babysitter now and start using them once a week or so until June so you DS builds up a relationship with them x

I would also look at more than one babysitter - being "on call" 24/7 for 5 weeks or so is quite an ask and they may have other jobs etc.

What a nasty comment by Stitch. Op, despite what your insensitive midwife and Stitch have said, I didn't have anybody either (and didn't feel I was in a terrible place in my life either, just that having 2 SN children and no family nearby at all made it very difficult to find childcare which would suit everyone). In the end, we all drove up to hospital while I was in labour and then DH had to wait outside with the DCs for the birth ( luckily I have very quick labours!). They were all invited back in straight afterwards, and the kids got to see their baby sister 5 minutes after she was born. It's not ideal but can be done, especially if it's not your first and you're confident about giving birth.

I hope you find a solution- as a few people have said I suspect if you ask around people will offer solutions. DH might have to miss some/all in the end, though, unfortunately. We have a similar (not quite as bad) problem, but Dd goes to nursery one day a week and a couple of the girls there have agreed to help out out of hours. Childcare.co.uk might have someone locally you could get to know? If there trully is no one who can look after a child and the parent is taken into hospital as an emergency then social services organise a babysitter from my experience at work, but its not ideal.

And btw Stitchfusion, saying you know something to be cruel and harsh before you say it doesnt make it ok to still say. Totally uncalled for.

Stitch that is bloody foul.

If you have to start a post with "I'm going to say something pretty cruel" then maybe don't say it.

The OP is asking for helpful suggestions. Not unpleasant, unkind judging.

Everyone who is calling me names is still making the same point that I am making. The OP needs to sort her life out so that she does have someone to look after her child. I'm just not pandering to her.
So what if she doesnt have family around? Lots and lots of people dont. Yet they still manage to arrange life so their kids are looked after appropriately.
As to the lady who suggests I look after the OP child. Gladly. Why wouldnt I help out someone in need? Its only a problem to those people who would refuse to help someone because they believe their own needs/wants/desires are more important.

Oh god, give it a rest! She's asking for suggestions. Lots of people post asking for suggestions when they could "just sort their lives out". Your posts are completely unnecessary - no wonder OP hasn't been back. Satisfied now? Pregnancy is a support forum, not a place to turn a thread into a way to chastise a poster for having the problem in the first place. Because that's always really helpful