To be told I 'just look like I've eaten too many puddings' - so sad!

[19thJuly2017]

I am 22 weeks pregnant. I'm 5ft 5, I wore a size 10 before I was pregnant and now wear a size 12 top (sometimes maternity, sometimes normal) and size 12 maternity skinny jeans.

A lady a work has just said that 'I'm still very neat but look like I've eaten too many puddings'.

I know my body has changed since becoming pregnant - I used to run 4 times a week and have had to stop since being pregnant, I still walk most days. I'm eating more, but I kept a very strict watch on my diet to keep my weight down before I was pregnant, so this has been inevitable since I am now hungry for carbs ALL THE TIME.

What gives this woman the right to say that to me - she wouldn't have said it if I wasn't pregnant and had just been pigging out!

Over the past few days people have said that I don't look pregnant. I thought they were being kind and have been trying to take this in a complimentary way - am I just completely deluded and am actually a great big whale???

[leahandslouiesmama]

I hate people like that. What gives them the right to comment on someone elses pregnancy? Especially as it was unwanted and uninvited. Not to mention unkind!
I would probably tell her that your feelings were hurt by the comment and that being pregnant brings enough questions and anxiety without people like her making it worse
Congratulations on your pregnancy

[hmmmum]

I think the lady at work simply meant that you don't look massively pregnant, you just look like you've eaten too much. It's a really common thing said to and by pregnant people. A mum I know has suddenly got her pregnancy bump having not looked that pregnant before and she remarked, "it suddenly looks like I've eaten all the pies!" Of course she (and you) haven't eaten all the pies, you have a baby growing inside you! It's just a turn of phrase. People can often be offensive without meaning to be so. When I was pregnant I had some people telling me I was massive and others saying I was tiny. Don't worry about it, I'm sure you look lovely. It's a bit disconcerting having people comment on your changing figure all the time, but I really don't think that lady meant Odense, I think she was just trying to say you don't have a massive bump, just the little one of somebody a bit bloated after a big dinner.

[hmmmum]

Offence not Odense

[toomuchtimereadingthreads2016]

Ah bless I think she means you could be mistaken for eating more rather than being pregnant i.e. you are small for a pregnant woman. I look like I've been smuggling watermelons at 25 weeks and people love commenting on that too! Can't win can we?!

[Scaredycat2016]

Ooooh I feel your pain on this one. Having suddenly acquired a bump overnight a couple of weeks ago I got called fat... Then this week apparently "my bump is in the wrong place" (it isn't). It gives me the rating hump x

[PingusMistress]

Ouch. Some people really need to learn to engage their brain before opening their mouth.

When I was 8 months pregnant a male colleague said to me "I don't know why women want to get pregnant, it totally ruins their bodies"

[AntiHop]

People should keep their views to themselves. It's so frustrating that so many people make so many stupid comments to pregnant women.

[specialsubject]

there are very few occasions when un-requested comments on appearance are appropriate. This certainly isn't one.

well done on not administering a well-deserved slap.

[crumpet]

Not sure what the issue is - people tend to look plumper in earlier pregnancy stages, rather than looking "pregnant". I certainly did with both of mine, and would not have resented any similar comments.

People as a general rule don't make comments out of malice, and it's often intended to be good humoured.

[crumpet]

BTW I blew up like a hippo with both of mine - 3 stone each time and it showed all over my body (I am 5'3"). But it's just the way my body makes babies. Other people have nothing but a tiny bump even at 9 months. Everyone is different and I didn't give a toss what people thought.

[DaphneDeLaFontaine]

You're overreacting. You're going put on weight and people are going to comment as it's a sign your baby is growing.

[CJCreggsGoldfish]

I think that she was just referring to your bump, suggesting that it's still quite small so someone that didn't know you were pregnant wouldn't automatically assume you were. I said it about myself when pregnant with my first - I just had a slightly rounded stomach for ages before a 'proper' pregnancy bumped emerged. I wouldn't take what she said as negative.

[PosyBoo]

Arrr, OP I think most of us that have been pregnant have been there with the underhand, unintended insult at some point!! I really don't think people mean any offence but at the same time it used to really bug me that just because youre pregnant suddenly everyone has a right to comment on your body!!

Try not to get upset and just remember you're growing a little miracle!!

[19thJuly2017]

Thanks everyone, you have really helped. Perhaps you're right that she meant my bump isn't huge yet, I suppose I am being a bit sensitive about having gone up a dress size/gained weight so I assumed that she must have meant I looked fatter all over rather than in my tummy - which may well be the case, but I don't need to hear it thanks!

Of course I knew I was going to put on weight because I am pregnant, but if someone put on weight over Christmas I wouldn't tell them in January that they look like they ate too many mince pies!

I know I've got lots more of this to come and that lots of these types of comments don't come from a nasty place so I just need to get on with it - it just helps to vent it out instead of slapping her in the face/ crying in the office.

[chloesmumtoo]

I also think she didn't mean any offense, especially as she said your still very neat. Some people just say things stupidly. Sounds like you keep fit and have great figure and so are just showing the babybump . Look at it as a compliment

[magicstar1]

I don't think she meant to be mean...when my mother was pregnant with me, she handed her notice in at work. At 8 months pregnant they asked her why she was leaving...the manager said she just looked like she'd had a big dinner. It's meant to be a compliment I'd say.

[19thJuly2017]

You are probably right.

This particular lady has made a number of comments so far (and generally thinks she knows everything about everything, and isn't afraid to tell you), so perhaps it would have been taken differently if it came from someone else. My favourites are 'are you going to waddle into town for lunch', 'I have to breath in to squeeze past your bulk' and 'I'm going to move the office treat tin (which I rarely touch) so the baby isn't born a biscuit'

In any case, I was asked yesterday to move to a different area of the office sometime between now and the end of the month to make way for someone coming back to cover my maternity leave, which is fine with me. I might make that move a little earlier than the end of the month so there is generally less opportunity for her to monitor my changing body, hopefully that will help!

[pillowcase6]

There's really no safe way to comment on a pregnant woman's appearance, especially her bump! People say silly things, I'm sure you look fantastic.

[CatRash]

She's sounds like a bit of a tw*t if you ask me. The pudding comment I probably wouldn't have batted an eye at but the other comments are pretty derogatory. Perhaps she's jealous of your pregnancy and finding being mean to you is a way to vent. Who knows!! Take it with a punch of salt and ignore her if she's getting you down.

I'm 21 weeks and don't really have much of a bump (5'2" size 10/12) and do kind of look like I've just binged on cake. If people didn't know i was pregnant then i think you'd just assume i was fat(ter) ;)

[chloesmumtoo]

oh, she has been saying all those comments, now that puts a completely different light on things. I too like CatRush thinks there is more to it then, could she be jelous?
Yes get away from her she sounds horrid, she must have some sort of issue.

[ethelfleda]

Sounds like a vile woman to me who should keep her opinions to herself!

[Chinnygirl]

Maybe people should stop commenting on each others bellies period. No matter if they are pregnant or overweight.

[19thJuly2017]

Hmmm, hadn't thought that she may be jealous. She has grown up children so would presume that ship has sailed (although that's obviously not for me to judge), but jealous of the situation perhaps, eg embarking on something really exciting, getting quite a bit of attention from the office generally.

Other than the comments about my body though she has been kind about the pregnancy. She feels the need to tell me exactly what will happen, when it will happen and how I need to deal with it, which annoys me but there are plenty of those kind around. She's quite an intense/full on person generally, so perhaps it is just that side of her personality coming through. Either way I am only going to get bigger not smaller, so I can do without the comments whatever the motive behind them is.

It's funny isn't it how people tell you you're looking bigger/different as if you hadn't noticed and they are telling you something you don't know!

[Jessiecat27]

I work with someone who sounds just like her so I'm preparing for all of the comments, some people just think they're always right about everything and always have to have their input, just ignore her and she will soon get the hint. Or snap back at her, you can get away with it when you're pregnant!

[Helbelle75]

I had this with a woman at work, who told me from about 16 weeks how massive I was. I was a size 10, now size 12 maternity at 36 weeks. My bump is very visible as i'm only 5'3, but measuring perfectly. It was relentless - are you sure it's not twins, are you having an elephant....
In the end I had to be quite harsh and tell her to stop it as it was making me feel very uncomfortable.
I do wish people would think before commenting. It's very hurtful.