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Pregnancy

To be told I 'just look like I've eaten too many puddings' - so sad!

40 replies

19thJuly2017 · 16/03/2017 10:27

I am 22 weeks pregnant. I'm 5ft 5, I wore a size 10 before I was pregnant and now wear a size 12 top (sometimes maternity, sometimes normal) and size 12 maternity skinny jeans.

A lady a work has just said that 'I'm still very neat but look like I've eaten too many puddings'.

I know my body has changed since becoming pregnant - I used to run 4 times a week and have had to stop since being pregnant, I still walk most days. I'm eating more, but I kept a very strict watch on my diet to keep my weight down before I was pregnant, so this has been inevitable since I am now hungry for carbs ALL THE TIME.

What gives this woman the right to say that to me - she wouldn't have said it if I wasn't pregnant and had just been pigging out!

Over the past few days people have said that I don't look pregnant. I thought they were being kind and have been trying to take this in a complimentary way - am I just completely deluded and am actually a great big whale???

OP posts:
PollytheDolly · 16/03/2017 14:55

She's being a cock! And she's jealous.

My children are adults and I still get broody with DH. Too old now though but I would never, ever make comments like that. I wouldn't even think it. Pregnant women always look wonderful.

19thJuly2017 · 16/03/2017 14:57

I must have made it clear enough that she had upset me as she tried to backtrack on what she had said by saying 'your bump will pop out at 24 weeks and if you have a second pregnancy it will appear a lot sooner' (how does she know it will pop out at 24 weeks, and it is common knowledge that your tummy muscles are usually weaker second time around, so funnily enough I've already read that 100 times elsewhere) and 'I only meant you look like you've eaten too many puddings compared to how you looked before you were pregnant' (obviously, but is there a need to remind me).

I won't see her for the rest of the day and will move tomorrow, so if she doesn't get the hint I'll tell her next time that I'd rather she kept her thoughts to herself. I'll be sitting with 2 lovely girls who wouldn't dream of making such comments, and 2 lovely blokes who both have children and know full well not to stray into this territory!

OP posts:
Sparklyuggs · 16/03/2017 16:52

She sounds like an absolute tw*t. I'm the same size as you and 21 weeks too and i a bigger than average bump, but it's because I'm pregnant-not fat! Even if it was weight gain, it's still very rude to comment on it. I feel so self conscious about how I look and I keep reminding myself it's normal and healthy to be gaining weight, and I have no control over what shape the bump forms.

Hope she learns to shut up soon!

Jumpmom1 · 16/03/2017 19:24

Aw I don't think she was being mean by it, more that u r neat but with a small bump like you've just had a big dinner. TBH this is actually a nicer thing to say. I'm 35 weeks, I look like I've eaten the titanic lol

NetflixandBill · 16/03/2017 19:30

My due date is the day after yours! Smile

I have only recently started looking pregnant and i am not as fit as you. Only MIL has made comments about my weight but lots of others have commented on my bump which i still find quite uncomfortable. I know theyre just trying to be nice though

Leebee11 · 16/03/2017 19:56

How horrible and rude. Why do people think they can just open there mouths!
I've just had my baby last week when I was pregnant I kept getting your very neat you carry all at the front. Yes I know I look like I've swallowed a fucking beach ball thank you and now I'm getting you've still got a tummy haven't you. It's really gets on my wick I had my baby 9days ago ending up having a section and I'm a size 8 and had an 8 pound 8oz baby but yes of course my tummy should be totally flat. I find it very frustrating and really quite upsetting that someone would point that out.

dorisdog · 17/03/2017 07:28

People are quite often just projecting their own thoughts/anxieties about weight/pregnancy I reckon. I used to have a friend who would notice the tiniest fluctuations in my weight! It was bizarre. But, I've come to realise that so many of us are 'disordered' about the whole issue. Try and let it go. Pregnancy is definitely not the time to have to worry about weight and food.

Impatientwino · 17/03/2017 07:54

I remember my mum saying to me that there's only one person that gets more unsolicited comments and advice than a pregnant woman and that's a woman with a new baby!

When I was about 35 weeks with my first I went into the (very busy) post office and the woman behind the counter bellowed 'OH MY GOD! Look at the size of you! You're enormous!! Are you sure you've only got one in there? Sheila, come and look at this poor woman' HmmHmmHmm

I had never met this women before and there were so many people in the queue, I was so embarrassed. While she served me she then gave me a list of what she felt were acceptable names and gave me her two favourites incase I wanted to call the baby one of them.

What has helped me in the future I've found that when something says something really stupid to me is to smile politely and think at exactly the same time inside my head 'fuck off you idiot' Smile

It's helped me lots - not just in pregnancy Grin

pixiehollow · 17/03/2017 08:34

I think that's awful !! You wouldn't say that to somebody who wasn't pregnant and just because you are pregnant doesn't give anybody the right to comment on your size or body!

Dotdot26 · 17/03/2017 09:17

I don't think the lady meant any harm. It's a really difficult thing as some ladies hate their belly being talked about, others love. If someone told me I was big I was happy, someone told me I was small I was happy, if I was high or low. If my bump was ignored I was a wee bit upset.

Just yesterday I was telling someone how big she was since I'd last saw her and she was proud as punch.

Everyone is so different it's hard to know what to say, or not say!

Impatientwino · 17/03/2017 09:23

Totally agree dot - everyone is different and I don't think people do mean any harm - they just say silly things.

My dad is rubbish with silence and will try and fill it with silly jokes and will often say odd things.

Once a million years ago when I was 18 he poked me in the tummy and said 'gosh you're starting to get a bit chubby aren't you' Confused I was so upset and he couldn't understand why he couldn't say that to me because he loved me - my mum set him straight Grin I wasn't pregnant - had just discovered booze and carbohydrates!

LukesDiner · 17/03/2017 11:47

Surely the only thing to say to a pregnant woman is 'You are amazing/awesome/fierce'.. for goodness sake the woman is growing an entire human being inside her body and her looks should never be commented on unless specifically invited to do so (and should everyone's!).

Chottie · 17/03/2017 11:50

How very rude and personal. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Congratulations on your pregnancy too Flowers

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 17/03/2017 12:23

It doesn't matter if they don't mean any offence, unsolicited commenting on people's size is rude. It wouldn't be acceptable for someone to walk up to an overweight person and say "Looks like you've eaten too many puddings". Pregnancy does not make someone's body public property.

chelle85 · 18/03/2017 14:55

I had a girl at work I was big for 16 weeks which made me really self concious. I am size 8 and apart from the bump starting to appear a bottom of my belly I haven't put anything on anywhere else and my waist is actually still same measurement. In fact in a morning I had a perfectly flat lower abdomen but have been suffering with bad bloating.

I am mostly ignoring any comments now as it just winds me up. I haven't ever seen it appropriate or necessary to comment on a pregnant women's size.

The lady you work with sounds horrible and I would have to tell her to keep her comments to herself!

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