Getting a seat on the train & tube

[DinosaurFanGirl]

Just wondering what other people's experiences are like with trying to get a seat on trains and tubes. I'm very obviously pregnant plus I have a baby on board badge but even with me asking I struggle to get anyone to give up a seat for me on trains and tubes. Most of the time people in the designated seats appear to be asleep or completely ignore me asking. Is it just me who has these issues and has anyone found a solution? I wouldn't mind standing but after a long day and an early start I'm completely tired and really suffer with headaches x

I haven't had any issues. The few times no one has offered a seat first I've just made a beeline for the priority seats and say 'Sorry to ask, but I could really do with a seat'.

Only once did a woman make it known she wasn't happy but she still gave up the seat and after thanking her I just ignored her!

I always used to get a seat on the tube, buses not so much.

@DinosaurFanGirl ...completely ignore me asking.

The poor cherubs are obviously hard of hearing. Say it again, LOUDLY, and if the rest of the carriage hears, so be it.

aka shame the feckers into being decent humans.

Never had a problem. People practically jump up to give me a seat. If they don't I stand beside them and rub my belly- if that doesn't work I ask.

Try and position yourself somewhere easy to be seen, ie. In front of someone's seat, rather than by the door. I very rarely have a problem and people are generally nice but sometimes people are in their own world and don't notice the bump or the badge!

I usually go right up to the seat and ask them straight out. Everyone around then just casts their eyes away.

I've been really unlucky, twice I've even been pushed on the tube by someone rushing to get to a free seat before me. It's honestly making me want to stop travelling into London at all anymore but I need to finish my MA for work 😕

Only once have I ever had anyone actually offer their seat up.

Maybe it's just what the Northern Line is like 😕

Or people just don't like the look of me :(

It's best to choose one person and ask them rather than a general request.

Sorry to hear you've had such a tough time of it Dinosaur. I travel on the tube every day and mostly I've been fine - about 75% of the time people offer me seats, sometimes I go and stand fairly obviously near them. If not, I ask. I really hate asking, but I think if you need to sit, you should say something. That's the point of the badge after all. Fingers crossed things get better for you.

Guess I'll just have to keep doing what I'm doing 😕 at least everyone else is finding it okay! X

I don't commute much and am still early days but you do notice people seeing the badge and then fixing their eyes to the floor. 'Sorry to ask, but I could really do with a seat'. should do it.

I've never had a problem, didn't get refused a seat once with DD and am not even showing yet this time and no probs Maybe that's the Vicky line though, nice and civilised. I've heard the Central line is a bit less courteous.

I did see a young girl in the priority seat feign sleep the other morning, but the woman next to her jumped up immediately for the pregnant woman who'd just got on.

Maybe I just look particularly grumpy and they're scared to refuse me.

'Sorry to ask, but I could really do with a seat'

Fuck apologising. Just say, 'can you let me have that priority seat please?'

See, I'm scary.

My mum reckons people think I look too young (I do look young for my age, I still get asked for ID plus I'm always travelling with a backpack and in trainers) so she thinks people must ignore as they think I look for enough or am faking being pregnant.

I'm tempted to think she's right now everyone else is getting seats fine and I'm doing same as everyone else 😕

Train home is the worst one because they don't actually have seats for pregnant women so they have to the right to ignore me. But tubes do and just shocks me that those sitting in those seats do ignore me when I ask them.

*fit enough not "for enough"

No, don't just ask one person!! It's embarrassing for them if they need it more. This is why I always travel with my disabled dad when he has to use the train. I can hiss at anyone assuming he can stand.

Really sorry op, I've seen other people ask people to move so pregnant ladies can sit. I think most of the time people are too engrossed in their phones. I always get dirty looks from older women who I don't offer my seat to but I've also been told off for offering my seat to someone as she found it an insult that 'I think she looks old or fat'...can't win! Keep going and like pp said, be firm, that seat is there for you!!

I commuted in London for years and it almost seemed like a race to give up a seat quickly enough. Never saw anyone have to ask etc. What time are you travelling?

Agree with pps, if you want a seat, ask. Keep asking until someone lets you sit.

On another point, some women wear "baby on board" badges then when you get up they say they don't want to sit... why the badge then pls? I'm almost expecting them just to be British and sit even if they don't want to!!!

Of course you should directly ask the person in the priority seat if you can sit down. How is "hissing" an appropriate response to that question?! Surely "sorry no, dad's disabled so he needs a seat" would be more reasonable!?

My mum finds its okay to say she's disabled. Guess everyone is different though.

I'm going to talk to my professor and just see if I can study from home. Causes me so much anxiety and really am thinking it's just me people don't want to give seats to rather than pregnant women. 😕

Have you seen responses here about people who don't move? You should not assume someone in the seat doesn't need it so you should ask generally. It's bloody rude to take it upon yourself to decide they don't need it.

Oh and "hissing" was a response to someone being "scary".

On another point, some women wear "baby on board" badges then when you get up they say they don't want to sit... why the badge then pls? I'm almost expecting them just to be British and sit even if they don't want to!!!

In my case, I only take the seat if I need it. Sometimes I feel just fine and can stand, but I don't know in advance.

I've used the tube almost daily for 10 years and have genuinely never witnessed this. People might not always notice you because they're reading/daydreaming/playing on their phone, but once someone asks for a seat, usually several people leap up (not always in the priority seats - but that makes sense as it's possible the person sitting in the priority seat has a hidden disability).

I would keep on wearing the badge, approach the priority seat-dwellers and ask "do you need the priority seat?" and see what they say.

It's also worth altering the times you travel if you can, especially for the overground part of your journey. Even if you sit in a coffee shop and read for an hour or so before getting a quieter later train, that's presumably preferable to standing if you're very uncomfortable.