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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

When would you tell your work/boss

33 replies

OnNaturesCourse · 14/02/2017 12:50

not pregnant, but trying curious as to when you did/would tell your work about being PG? Ive been reading company policies today and it has plans/expectations etc from quite early on it would seem...

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GreedyDuck · 14/02/2017 13:13

Unless my job involved heavy lifting, or use of hazardous substances, or I was incapacitated by severe morning sicknesd, I would hold off as long as possible.

aspascia · 14/02/2017 13:21

I told my employer at 18 weeks. I wanted to hold off for as long as possible but also wanted to give them the courtesy of a decent notice period (especially as it's a smaller company and so my ML will have more of an impact on them). Also, my hand was kind of forced at that point because I was starting to show and there were only so many times I could turn up to work in a baggy jumper! Grin

LilithTheKitty · 14/02/2017 13:23

It depends on the job. I work in a lab so I'd have to tell them as soon as I found out due to handling hazardous chemicals. I'd be moved to desk work immediately. If you work in an office then it's up to you as long as it's before the date you need to tell them to qualify for statutory maternity pay.

OnNaturesCourse · 14/02/2017 13:56

Im office based. From documentation its from about 8 weeks they expect to be informef

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GreedyDuck · 14/02/2017 14:21

They may expect it, but I bet very few people actually do tell them before they've had a favourable scan or had their booking in appointment. You aren't obliged to tell them.

In my first pregnancy I had to tell my manager at 8 weeks because I'd had an early scan and no heartbeat was present. I then took two weeks off to recover. However, from that point on, I felt as though she wrote me off for development because she assumed that I would be be trying to get pregnant again asap (fair enough assumption perhaps, but unfair to me).

I then got pregnant again nine months later and told them after my first scan.

Last pregnancy, again ended early in a mmc, and I told my whole team afterwards as I need a bit of time off.

Rockandrollwithit · 14/02/2017 14:23

I think it depends on your job and relationship with your boss, as far as I know you are under no obligation to tell them until 25 weeks.

I'm currently 9 weeks and told my boss at 7 weeks as I have HG and needed adjustments to be made.

Bluebellevergreen · 14/02/2017 14:24

From documentation its from about 8 weeks they expect to be informef pretty sure that is against the law if you are in the UK
www.gov.uk/working-when-pregnant-your-rights

toomuchtimereadingthreads2016 · 14/02/2017 14:30

I told my boss the day before my first scan (which was actually at 13+1) because I wanted to come in and break the news to my colleagues after my scan and wanted to do him the courtesy of knowing first :)

showmeislands · 14/02/2017 14:44

Told mine at 12 weeks, once I'd had my first scan.

Nimisha · 14/02/2017 14:54

You don't have any rights at work with regards to pregnancy until you have informed them.

I told work after my first scan each time, but I didn't have bad morning sickness. One of my colleagues was pg at the same time as me but was crippled with hg. She had three months off work, I considered myself very lucky!
If there are risks at work you will need a risk assessment and modified duties if necessary. I do shift work and came off nights after about 30 weeks but stayed on long days until the end.

I think the absolute latest you can tell them is 25 weeks?

SuperUnicorn · 14/02/2017 15:58

I told mine at 17 weeks. I work a physical job on a dairy farm. The only reason we waited so long was that we were unable to tell my parents before then and we didn't want them finding out second hand.

MillieMoodle · 14/02/2017 16:21

First time I told my boss and HR very early on (about 5 weeks!) as was so excited. It was a very small company though. Told every else I worked with after the 12 week scan.

Second time (at a much bigger company) I told them after my 12 week scan - told head of department, immediate boss and secretary. Told the rest of my team at 16 weeks as people were asking my secretary and I didn't want her to have to deflect questions. I'd have kept it quiet longer if I could have done! Had been showing since about 6 weeks though so no one was surprised.

littlepooch · 14/02/2017 16:24

First time I told them around 14 weeks. This time I'm planning to hold off for as long as possible. 14 weeks was still quite early and it got a bit tiring being asked the same pregnancy questions day in day out by my well meaning colleagues.

Laura2507 · 14/02/2017 17:25

I told my boss and HR manager at 8 weeks as I was off work with sickness. I then told everyone else around 11 weeks when I had to skip our annual conference and had more time off sick. The pressure of trying to hide it when I was poorly became too much. It was a relief to tell people and I had more support then too.

meeerkat · 14/02/2017 17:40

The day after I found out. Just told my Line manager and asked that it was kept confidential until I had reached 3 months and had a scan. I don't really see any reason to keep it a big secret from my employer for months on end.

If they don't know, you can't book midwife appointments and expect paid time off. Wasting annual leave? Having to work back time? Lose pay?

If you are poorly with pregnancy related stuff they might not be understanding if they don't know why you are ill if it is happening often. During pregnancy they can't discipline you for pregnancy related absence, but if you don't tell them how can they treat absence appropriately.

If I was taken ill or had an accident at work and needed medical attention I would want someone to know so I got appropriate attention.

ememem84 · 14/02/2017 17:43

I told boss and another director at 5 weeks. I had been feeling awful and I needed to let them know I wasn't going to be going on a long holiday (morning sickness plus a super long haul flight plus being a nervous flyer anyway wasn't worth it we decided) and also I had two work trips both involving a lot of travel flights and drinking!

Haven't made a big deal of it though. Asked hem to keep it quiet.

I felt as were a small office I should tell them as boss is away a lot and I wanted someone else to know just in case I went a bit "weird". Or threw up or something.

Legally per my contract I don't have to tell them until I'm 12 weeks. But I think it says something as a courteously for health n safety to tell them as soon as I feel comfortable.

HN42 · 14/02/2017 18:57

I would just go with when you are comfortable.

I told my boss the day after I found out when I was just 4 weeks but I've always been very open with my colleagues that I wanted children so they knew it was going to happen. For me it worked out well that my manager and senior managers knew because I then found out at 6 weeks I was expecting twins which was a total shock and I then developed morning sickness so the emotional support I've had from my manager and her managers has been amazing, they are all parents of young children themselves and they always tell me anything I need they will be there. I wouldn't have got through the last few weeks without them, they're always just looking out for me and making sure I'm ok and that I'm actually well enough to be at work.

Obviously a lot of people are not that lucky to have such good relationships with their managers so its just a case of thinking about when you are ready to tell your manager.

Doughnutsandrainbows · 14/02/2017 19:39

As pp said I believe you are not legally covered until you tell them I i told mine at 6 weeks - I've had 4 mcs and bleeding in this pregnancy and wanted my connsequental sick leave to be protected as pregnancy related. Also wanted to have protection in terms of risk assessment.

However am now being pressured by boss to tell my colleagues as just reached 12 weeks which I am loathed to do.

Ultimately you have to do what feels right for you, your job and situation. You shouldn't feel pressured but may want to benefit from the protection telling your employer gives you earlier. You do have to tell them by 25 weeks if you intend on taking mat leave though.

vfoster · 14/02/2017 19:41

I told my manager at about 4 weeks when I found out.
I wanted to be honest and I was vomiting a few times a day (only one cubicle in an open work zone) so don't think I'd have hidden it anyway!
I figured that I had more protection if she knew. I'm a teacher and wanted to be away from busy corridors and any fights/boystrous behaviour. It made the first few months easier when I was tired and ill!

Popskipiekin · 14/02/2017 19:51

I got pregnant 3 months into a new job. We were trying but it was only cycle 1 (we were extremely fortunate) so bit surprised, and didn't want their initial view of me clouded by pregnancy. I only needed one day off for sickness and all my antenatal appointments were on Saturdays so I held off till 20 weeks, when I started to show. Second time round I waited till I'd had the 12 week scan. I was showing from 6 weeks so even that was a struggle.

DuggeeHugs · 14/02/2017 19:53

First time at 11 weeks, this time at 17 weeks. On both occasions I've requested confidentiality - so my line manager and HR contact only - until I'm ready to tell the team. First time around this was at 26 weeks, not sure when it will be this time.

mycatloveslego · 14/02/2017 19:54

After the 12 week scan. I've had a few early losses and couldn't bear having to tell/face people at work afterwards.

NinaMarieP · 14/02/2017 20:12

I told a few people quite early because I was coming in late and almost being sick on the desk. I then told more people including my line manager the week before my 12 week scan, and then everyone knew once I'd had that. I'm lucky to work somewhere that my prospects are not affected by being pregnant, and as others have said you're not entitled to paid leave etc until you've informed your work.

welshweasel · 14/02/2017 20:16

I found out I was pregnant the day before my interview (NHS consultant), started job at 10 weeks and told work at 20 weeks because I was going on holiday and was getting stressed about telling everyone and wanted it sorted before I went.

Elkalv · 14/02/2017 20:21

I am 17 weeks and I haven't told yet. I just find it awkward so not sure how long it will take me. I think it's about time though as I start showing.

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