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I feel suicidal over baby anxiety.

1 reply

JessieMillz25 · 06/02/2017 21:33

I am 29 weeks pregnant. I have not enjoyed a single second of it since 18 weeks when I first started to feel the baby move. I am consumed with thinking about the baby's movements. My baby has no real pattern or consistency which makes me my panic constantly especially when I read you should go to to the hospital if they break the pattern or stop moving ect. Sometimes she doesn't move for hours and hours and I feel so sick and panicky and scared. I have already been in 3 times for reduced movement. It's affecting my job and my relationships because everyone thinks it's in my head. I don't want to live like this anymore. I am obsessed with thinking about dying so I don't have to deal with this anxiety anymore. I have been fighting really hard to not self harm again (I did this at uni 5/6 years ago) I'm constantly daydreaming about getting hit by a car ect. I am with the mental health midwives. Get checkups on the baby every two weeks and am on anti-anxiety medicine. I also do yoga and meditation but nothing soothes me.

IonaMumsnet · 06/02/2017 23:22

Hi there Jessie.

We're so sorry to hear you're having such a time of it. Pregnancy can be an extremely anxious time for anyone but if you throw any additional worries into the mix, it's horrendous.

Firstly, at 29 weeks, you really should only just be beginning to spot 'patterns' so please don't fret. We've more information on all that here on our page on monitoring your baby's movements. If that's just going to make you more worried, please do skip it, but it's a good basic indicator of when to worry and when not to.

The thing to remember is that doctors and midwives are never sorry to see a worried mum-to-be come through their door. If there's nothing wrong (and the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists say that in 70% of pregnancies with a single case of reduced foetal movement, there are no complications), they are ALWAYS just pleased to be able to reassure you and send you on your way.

Although it's always a good idea to be aware of your baby's movements, it does sound as though this fear is rather taking over and spoiling your enjoyment of what should be a happy time. We're pleased to see you've already had support on this thread but if the feelings you're experiencing are making you feel suicidal we would urge you to seek real life support as soon as possible, so professionals can listen to your worries and help you get back on track.

There are a few contact numbers for organisations that specialise in helping women with mental health concerns during pregnancy here. They're definitely worth contacting if you can't get an appointment immediately.

We really hope you can get the support and help you need and start to enjoy what is undeniably scary but should also be a joyful time. You've a right to be happy now, so we really hope you find the help you need to get there. Congratulations on your pregnancy and please do pop back and let us know how you get on.

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