no worries jj answering for me - been a very busy day and not really been on for a long period of time.
First of all - it sounds like you had the triple blood test which is highly inaccurate as gingerbear has already said despite what you are told. A nuchal scan plus blood test is about 80 - 90% accurate but still margin for error. As others have said - amnio is the only way if you need to know.
I have written lots of posts on this subject. Basically our dd1 was diagnosed with a heart defect at 20 weeks gestation. This heart defect is very very common in children with down syndrome (DS). The fetal cardiologist said it would be very rare if dd1 was born without down syndrome. So we accepted that she would have the heart defect ( serious but repairable) and down syndrome. We have since learnt our chance would have been about 1 in 5.
When we had the fetal cardiac scans we also had anomaly scans and despite being on the small side dd1 showed no soft markers for ds - just the 'hard' marker of the heart defect.
Dd1 had two open heart surgeries at about 8 weeks old and her heart is like a 'normal' one. She has regular check ups but no problems since the surgery. That is a big thing to go through as a parent.
We declined am amnio for a number of reasons but the biggest one - would not have made a difference - this was our babe and we were going to have her.
We went on to have dd2 - and at her 20 week scan we learnt that she had echogenic focii ( sp?) which increased our chance of having another child with down syndrome fourfold. Again we refused an amnio - personal reasons again - similar to above. I have also learnt that 3/4 of the babies miscarried through amnio had no conditions - iyswim. Dd2 does not have down syndrome.
I am now due to have no3 in 3 weeks and this time round we had a nuchal translucency screening and it was such a stressful time. My chance was very high as having a child already with down syndrome increases your risk but with the bloods etc it came down to 1 in 962 - which is good for an older mum like me. Surprisingly the genetic counsellor still suggested that I might like to have an amnio.
As to living with ds - really whilst there is extra things like therapy, hospital outpatient appts etc - I can't see how much more I have to do for dd1 compared with other children her age.
Sorry to post such a long message. If you want to ask anything specific - you can email me [email protected].
All the best for your fetal cardiac scan.