Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Reason I can give for not drinking on night out with friends?

55 replies

user1484562028 · 02/02/2017 10:11

Ok, so tomorrow night we are out with two of our best friends. The plan is to get the train into the city & have cocktails before dinner.

I 100% cannot tell them I am PG, they are family friends and I haven;t told my Parents yet so I can't risk other people in their friendship group finding out before they do.

I am such a cocktail lover though, they are going to guess the minute I don't order a drink :(

OP posts:
2014newme · 02/02/2017 12:01

I would either tell them or not go. They will guess anyway.
You could say hi I havent been well this week can't face cocktails can we switch to cinema.

Oblomov17 · 02/02/2017 12:34

They will guess. Anyone would, surely? Or atleast joke and jesture. Just do a non alcoholic cocktail and enjoy. Be proud. Loads of people don't drink these days for all sorts of reasons. No one cares, do they? I don't!!

I've just done a dry'ish january, my friend gives up for lent. My other friend does something almost every month!! She has a dry January, a no takeaway February, a sex-every-day-march etc etc !! Grin

MakeItStopNeville · 02/02/2017 12:37

Tell your parents. Boom! Problem solved.

Penrithtearooms · 02/02/2017 12:39

You need one accomplice to back you up. Just tell the most trusted one in advance!

Congratulations!!

Quartz2208 · 02/02/2017 12:40

The thing is whatever you decide they are bound to have suspicions anyway. I visited a friend in Edinburgh and I knew she guessed but she never said anything til I confirmed it.

I have also guessed at a few (one from the amount of times they went to the toilet) but never mentioned it until they confirmed it.

Unless they are not very nice people all that will happen is they simply say ah yes I did wonder when she was not drinking that night!

If you are worried about your parents being upset tell them, my opinion is anyone who you would want to know and support you through if anything bad happens is someone you should tell straight away.

Quartz2208 · 02/02/2017 12:41

Oh and just order an non alcoholic cocktail and leave it at that

raviolidreaming · 02/02/2017 12:47

Text them today and say you're really sorry but you don't think you'll be able to make it as you've not been well. In the morning, say you're feeling better but not sure if a night drinking is going to do you any favours. Then go out and have soft drinks with a couple of pretend alcoholic ones when it's your round.

If you say you're on antibiotics you might as well wear a badge saying you're pregnant!

DappledThings · 02/02/2017 13:30

Why not just tell your parents then it's all sorted. You can tell them over the phone if you're not going to see them.

Unless you decide to drive I don't think there's any reason you can give that won't make people assume you're pregnant. However most people, if they aren't twats, might give you a knowing look but not push you further. It's all a bit of a weird game. I just told people as and when it came up, doesn't have to be a big deal

TheLivingAsheth · 02/02/2017 14:17

I just told people as and when it came up, doesn't have to be a big deal

Tell your parents. Boom! Problem solved.

There are good reasons why people might want to wait until 12 weeks before even telling their parents.

Original poster
user1484562028 · 02/02/2017 14:38

Thankyou again for all the replies everyone. I'm going to go ahead with the night out and order mocktails when its our round hoping they wont notice! Otherwise I will decline a drink.

I really don't want to tell my parents yet, although I know that's the simple answer. They will get very excited & I would hate to have to give them the bade news if all doesn't go to plan. I'm also a pretty private person & have decided that I would rather deal with that just me & hubby.

Fingers crossed if they do guess they will keep their ideas to themselves.

OP posts:
SellFridges · 02/02/2017 14:43

They'll guess. You can either pretend away and say antibiotics. Or admit and ask them not to share. But they will notice.

2014newme · 02/02/2017 14:46

Of course they will mention they are in a boozy cocktail night!

Libbylove2015 · 02/02/2017 14:51

I either:

a) say I am running late and end up driving; or
b) say I have raging cystitis (upgrade to a kidney infection for added drama) and drinking alcohol means that peeing is akin to passing red hot razor blades. If you don't want any follow up questions, tell them it is caused by too much rough sex.

Oblomov17 · 02/02/2017 16:57

I don't like all the suggestions of lying. But then I don't lie.

Surreyblah · 02/02/2017 16:59

They will guess.

sarahnova69 · 02/02/2017 17:05

I always recommend accepting a drink and not drinking it. Take pretend sips then wander off to the loo and accidentally 'lose' it. However, this can get expensive if you are in a bar or club and they want to set a blistering pace.

Frillyhorseyknickers · 02/02/2017 17:09

I'm 7+2 at the moment. Having just finished my "dry January" I can't deal with any lying and February is going to be spent by declining every social invitation and lying low. As a social butterfly it is absolutely killing me, but I just can't be arsed to lie to my friends anymore. I will surface on 9th March, providing everything is healthy and well up until that point.

The problem is, when you are a proper booze hound, there is only so much bullshitting you can get away with. I miss the pub :(

Imaginarymenagerie · 02/02/2017 18:18

If they know you usually drink they will guess pretty quickly if you admit to being on soft drinks, so stealthy mocktails might be a good idea.

I moved offices late last year and went to both Xmas parties before we had announced that I was pregnant. My new team I just used the excuse of driving and not being a big drinker - they didn't know any better so it was fine. My old team I arrived at the party, and picked up orange juice instead of bubbles and was greeted with 'OMG you're pregnant!!'. I didn't confirm anything, but they knew pretty much instantly! So depends how observant your friends are/how boozy you usually are!

Good luck - you'll have to let us know how you get on.

Sparklyuggs · 02/02/2017 18:38

I asked my friends if they had guessed at the wedding, five didn't and two did which is good enough for me. I think I'm 'lucky' I get stomach upsets easily and have IBS so they're used to hearing I can't drink due to a dodgy stomach.

I felt bad lying but as DH said, it's not hurting them and it was for a good reason. I think saying something which would give them cause for concern is unkind, but I don't think norovirus comes into that category.

TheLivingAsheth · 03/02/2017 10:17

I think there is a social etiquette in situations like this which is basically when a woman says she is not drinking, everyone should, while secretly believing she may be pregnant, immediately accept whatever lame-ass excuse she comes up with and move on to other things. When she tells them eventually, they can then go "OMG I totally guessed that night!!" Anything else is unacceptable. This should be enshrined in Debrett's or something.

Oysterbabe · 03/02/2017 12:19

Is your husband going too? Put your drink next to his and get him to alternate between which one he picks up. Pretend to take a sip from time to time. Order a jug of water for the table and drink that.

clarabellski · 03/02/2017 15:52

What Quartz said.

Don't say anything. They can form their own conclusions.

Gracie17 · 03/02/2017 16:51

Only problem with the hubby technique is that he gets twice as drunk which is then very annoying as you are 100% sober!

Gracie17 · 03/02/2017 16:51

I have recently discovered that heavily diluted apple juice looks like my tipple of choice, white wine!

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 03/02/2017 16:59

My sister did the wait to tell just in case thing, then phoned me in tears at 10 weeks after a mc because she was so sad and felt the need to talk with me and other Dsis and parents. If there are people you rely on for emotional support (or ones that will go on and on about wanting grandchildren and hurry up Hmm) then it's often better to share the initial news with them but be honest about it being very early days and have to wait and see. Congratulations by the way Flowers

Swipe left for the next trending thread