Bottle or breast feed?

[justanotheryoungmother]

Hello everyone,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child, almost six months, and I haven't decided if I will breast or bottle feed.
My midwife keeps advocating breastfeeding, whilst my mum is against it because it'll allegedly ruin the shape of my breasts (I'm 19), and she doesn't want them to get ruined.
My boyfriend (not sure what the Mumsnet terminology is yet) would like me to breastfeed as apparently that has nutrients that formula milk doesn't have, but I'm not convinced that's him trying to avoid night feeds
I'm not really asking about the scientific benefits to either, as I can find that out, but can people let me know what their personal experiences were/are with either? One thing I'm concerned about is having to be careful about what I eat if I breast fed- don't get me wrong, I'm not planning on drinking with a newborn at all but there are foods that I'd still have to be careful about, which seems a hassle.

Any opinions welcome

I was 18 when I had my daughter...I breastfed for nearly a year and loved every min.
There are tons of pros to breastfeeding, not only the nutritional benefits, it's much easier too, you. An feed anywhere, anytime without having to make up bottles.
With regards to your figure, I had a lovely figure before I got pregnant but I can honestly say I much prefer my figure now than before I had my children. Breastfeeding actually helps to get your figure back. And with regards to your breasts....breastfeeding doesn't necessarily mean it will ''ruin'' them. My breasts are a million times better now than they were before, I'm a fair few cup sizes bigger, even 5 years after I stopped feeding, they are full and pert, I can wear low cut or backless dresses now without a bra which I could never do before I had children.
Maybe I'm lucky but it doesn't mean that yours will be ruined....I've also heard that pregnancy in general can make your breasts ''sag'' whether you breastfeed or not.

Breastfeeding is the biological norm for human babies and formula is adequate but clearly it's not going to be able to beat it from your baby's perspective. That said, of course, having a safe alternative to human breastmilk can literally be a lifesaver.

If you do decide to go down the formula route I would recommend giving a low protein formula with probiotics or supplement with probiotics. They are just discovering just how important the "good" bacteria in your gut are, and those early months are pretty crucial. Your breastmilk will provide your baby with those specific bugs as well as antibodies, nutrients and a whole host of other goodies tailored to your babies development needs but formula fed babies tend to have different bacteria in their gut which may be one of the reasons formula feeding is associated with higher risk of obesity and diabetes and other problems later in life. So, baby probiotics can help mitigate that risk.

I know you didn't ask about the "science" of it but the probiotic thing isn't often talked about so just wanted to flag it.

From my personal perspective, breastfeeding has been wonderful. I discovered cosleeping with my second baby and got so much more sleep because she just latched on and snuggled in. I found it really hard to even make a cup of tea after I had my first so being able to just pull up my top and feed the baby was great! Be warned though - newborns feed a lot. It's normal and it doesn't mean you aren't producing enough milk. It's really common for people to start supplementing with formula because they worry when their baby has been on the boob for ages and then seems hungry almost immediately. Don't worry. It's supposed to be like this and it won't be like that every day for months! They are literally telling your boobs how much milk and what type of milk to produce and particularly in the first 6 weeks your body is building the supply. If in doubt, whack them on the boob. It's the ultimate comfort food! Hungry? Tired? Sad? Have some boob. It's magic. And it feels lovely once you get the hang of it.

On the figure front, pp have already said that it's pregnancy that affects your figure. For me breastfeeding has been wonderful for weight loss. I was a slim size 10/12 before pregnancy but am a full stone lighter now after 2 children and 4 years of breastfeeding. It doesn't happen that way for everyone and it takes your body a few months but your body literally stores fat during pregnancy in order to produce milk so it helps to burn that up.

I have can recommend a book called "The Food of Love" which gives a good overview of how to breastfeed etc. It's also really funny and easy to read!

The Politics of Breastfeeding is also a good read but that's more about the cultural issues we have in this day and age about breast vs bottle.

Finally, if you want to learn more about the probiotic thing I recomment a book called "Let them eat dirt" written by two microbiologists (and parents) and which covers the latest research.

One final point. If you do decide to breastfeed (and I hope you do) then make sure you get support early on. NCT has a helpline as do La Leche League. Speak to them in advance and suss out where your nearest laceration consultant is. Maybe even give them a ring and discuss what breastfeeding means etc and then if you are having any problems or have any questions you know where to go for reassurance and guidance.

Good luck OP and congratulations. Well done for doing your research into all of this. It sounds like you are going to be a fab Mum!

A bit of a contrast to most of the PPs, I had an awful breastfeeding experience.
A tongue tie meant that in the first few days, DD really struggled to latch (thanks to a traumatic birth, i was kept in for a few days so this became apparent early on) and just got worse. I think that as I had a lot of milk and DD appeared to be feeding a lot, I convinced myself everything was fine.

At around 8/9 weeks, DD started to drop centiles on the weight chart. Still gaining weight, but not at the same rate as she should. At this time she also began to scream and cry every time she was put to the breast and i was only able to feed her when she was almost asleep. It was very stressful for me and her (and DP who had to witness me sobbing upwards of 8 times a day when I attempted to feed). HVs just kept telling me to persevere but as DD had dropped from 50th to 9th centile over 6 weeks, we decided to call it a day and bottle feed. I could not be happier about that choice and she is now the happiest 9 month old I've ever seen!

My point is, there are plenty of great stories and experiences here and of course there are because it's natural and right and if it was all bad then no one would do it! But not everyone has these amazing experiences.

I felt so much guilt and for weeks beat myself up about wanting to switch to bottle feeding but everyone telling me it would get better, and that there's no better way to bond with your baby made me put it off. Which ultimately was to the detriment of my own mental health, my babies health and happiness and the bond with her too. Because when she screams every feeding time, that's not bonding!

So please, OP, do try breastfeeding and stick with it through the difficult early stage. But never feel guilty if it doesn't work out. Please don't do what I did and convince yourself hat because everyone else seems to have had the easiest ride, it'll all work out that well for you. If it does, amazing and well done! But if it doesn't, it's not worth the heartache!

To be fair basket it sounds like you didn't get the right advice or support from your health visitor, maybe if they had suggested you see a breastfeeding counsellor or lactation consultant the problem might have been identified earlier and maybe even resolved?

At my antenatal class the course leader said health visitors and even midwives aren't particularly well trained when it comes to breastfeeding support.

Not read everything but wanted to chip in.

I breastfed exclusively (barring one bottle for night feeds from two days old) for about two weeks and then moved over to bottles and used breast for inbetween feeds. I liked it but it's painful to start with, that wore off after about a week, and bloody exhausting!! If physically wore me out which is weird but it did. Ultimately I felt I couldn't keep up with DS and moved to bottles.

The decision is yours. My boobs are not the same as they were by any means but I have read that it's pregnancy that causes that and not breastfeeding. The engorgement wasn't pleasant but it was a very satisfying feeling when breastfeeding to feel that going away! I'm glad I gave him that at the start. And remember you can express so night feeds can be shared!

It wasn't easy and straightforward for me the entire way through, I think it's rare anybody has a 100% positive experience. I've had issues as do most people, mine were the scbu/formula/expressing stage, vasospasm, blebs, blocked ducts, baby being slow to return to birth weight and dodging top ups, and adjusting to being back to him before my boobs exploded. Just to give balance in case it seems that people either have a good or bad experience of it and nothing in between.

I breastfed exclusively (barring one bottle for night feeds from two days old) for about two weeks and then moved over to bottles and used breast for inbetween feeds. Ultimately I felt I couldn't keep up with DS and moved to bottles.

Thing is though, while it seems easiest for night feeds to be the ones that are formula so you can share, the night feeds are vital to breastfeeding success as it drives your supply- nights are when the hormones are most stimulated. Skip the night feeds, and your supply is likely to dwindle and you won't keep up as day time feeding only, especially in the early days, isn't enough to stimulate your milk producing hormones.

Lesson is, o/p, many people will tell you to do many different things. It's very individual, what works for one may not work for another. Best think is to just feed, feed, and feed some more, and get proper breastfeeding help.

Don't rely on other peoples anecdotes, or your mum. My mum told me breastfeeding was unhygienic, and like pp told me that if baby wasn't going 4 hourly between feeds then I didn't have enough milk, or my mil wasn't "rich enough". Total bollocks of course, but that's what she'd been told in her day.

You will also be surprised how many people think you shouldn't be spending time with your baby breastfeeding, you should be having a break, or letting someone else feed the baby. One of the reasons I liked bf is I could take to the sofa with my baby, make everyone else run around me, and tell mil and her millions of friends she brought round "for a cuddle" to fuck off :) If I'd have bottle fed I wouldn't have seen my baby for mil and her cronies.

But you have to be quite stubborn and determined! Bf is not the norm and many people think it's odd, or you're some sort of martyr.

By all means give it a try. It's good for your baby, easy to do once breastfeeding has been established and will probably help you loose weight (it didn't for me, but I suspect that's because my supply was low and therefore didn't "drain" as many calories as it should).

That being said, it's not always easy to establish breastfeeding. In my case, I managed to do so but after about 3 weeks I had to start supplementing with formula, as my DD hadn't yet recovered her birth weight. Sometimes, no matter what you do, your supply is insufficient. However, that is neither as common as it is said to be (many women give up in the early days mistakenly believing that frequent feeding means that they don't produce enough milk) nor the absolute impossibility that some bf proponents will tell you it is (yes, it's rare but definitely possible, even if you feed frequently, on demand and round-the-clock; breasts are organs and can malfunction, they're not magical, get over it people).

Just to give you an idea, I mix-fed from three weeks and now that my DD is nearly two and a half she still loves her boob. She eats mostly everything, is very healthy and contented and uses the boob for comfort and as a treat (apparently, mummy's milk is very yummy, I asked her; extended breastfeeding has its perks, such as getting "customer's feedback").

There's not one right solution. You can exclusively breastfeed, mix-fed or formula feed, and of course, once your baby is weaned you can continue to breastfeed or switch to formula. It depends on your personal circumstances, your baby's attitude and your personality. I would recommend that you read about it, get some advice and then you get some specialised assistance after birth to properly establish breastfeeding. At that point, you will be in a position to take an informed decision, not based on someone else's opinions and experience, but your own. Remember, you are the mother now and you're in charge, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I'd just like to throw out there that you can do both. I gave up as I hated BFing - it worked fine but it was painful (I had a sore let down that literally made me cry!) and I didn't enjoy the constant nature of it. When DS had a bottle, he would be settled and slept for a time afterwards whereas he just fed constantly when BFing.

BUT I felt that I had to give up altogether when I introduced formula but I could have carried on and just done a bit of both when I wanted breather or just to go the supermarket on my own.

I'm pregnant with my first and planning on bottle feeding. I've never fancied breastfeeding, it means I can pop out easier and it means my husband can do half the feeds.

There is some evidence of marginal benefits to breastfeeding, but once you look at the detail, they are mostly very overstated. Either way will be perfectly fine for your baby - its a personal choice.

Excellent discussion on this thread.

Just to add another voice to the point about how long babies go between feeds, this whole '4 hour routine' thing is something I heard A LOT from people of the previous generation. The current advice of health professionals is to feed on demand regardless of whether breast or formula. I switched to formula in second week due to contraindication with medication I had to take, and there were afternoons where DS was tanking a bottle every 90 minutes, just as he was doing on the breast.

I didn't breastfeed for long enough to really compare the two methods, but all I'll say is I'm looking forward to next month when DS can move to cows milk and we can stop sterlising all the bloody bottles and making up feeds! If you do end up using bottles (for expressed milk or for formula), invest in some decent handcream as your hands will be chapped from all the washing!!! (or get your lovely boyfriend to do this bit! ).

Combo feeding worked for DS and he's thrived on formula. He settled into a 3-4 hour routine himself but we watched for his cues. Do what YOU want but for the right reasons. And if your other half thinks he'll duck night feeds send him off to make a brew instead lol

If you do decide to bottle feed there are some gadgets that can help.

The Tommee Tippee Perfect Prep Machine is a must have for me. You fill the tank with water and it filters. Then you set the dial to however many ounces of milk you're making and push the start button. It dispenses 70 degree water which you add the formula to and shake to dissolve it. Then you pop the bottle back under and it dispenses cold water to fill the bottle to the correct amount and ready to drink temperature. The whole process of making a bottle take 2 minutes.
Health visitors and midwives etc have to read you a disclaimer that they cannot endorse them nor vouch for their effectiveness/100% safety as they haven't gone through all of the relevant research to prove that they're safe yet. The dispute comes from the fact that the water never reaches boiling point (where it becomes sterile). But the way I look at it is that if it were unsafe, they would be unable to sell it because it would be unfit for purpose. I swear by mine and no one I know who has used one has had any problems as yet.

Also you can get a bottle feeding starter kit (as well as a breastfeeding starter kit if you decide to breastfeed) which come with an electronic steriliser. You wash the bottles in warm water and washing up liquid and the pop them in the steriliser. Fill the steriliser tank with cold water and turn it on. It will boil the water to convert it to steam which sterilises the bottles. The whole process takes about 10 minutes and we end up doing it once a day when he's used all his bottles (6).

For feed when going out, I swear by the Tommee Tippee Flask. It's only £10 and it keeps the water hot for hours and hours! You can either make up your feeds at home and use the boiling water in the flask to heat them up (it comes with a cover that can be used as a sort of bowl to put the bottle with water and heat it up). Personally I don't like to make up feeds beforehand because they're not as fresh and I don't want them to be wasted. I take some cold boiled water with the flask and make them up while I'm out when little one needs a bottle.

Lastly, you can get a MAM formula dispenser. It's basically just a plastic tub with 3 compartments that you fill with formula and pop the lid on. That way you can take 3 feeds worth of formula with you when you go out. Only £5! Good luck!

Remember both is an option. I combi fed and it worked well for us.

The Perfect Prep machine was on Watchdog last week - they tested it and the filter wasn't effectively removing bacteria from the two water once it had been used 3+ times. According to the expert they spoke to it was fairly low risk for full term/non immunocompromised babies but I probably wouldn't buy one myself just in case. I know a few people who have used them with no problems though.

You can get all of those gadgets becxa talked about :). Plus a nice bag to carry you flask, bottles, formula dispenser...

Or you can make sure you don't forget your breasts :)

Main reason i wouldn't have survived bottle feeding, i'd have forgotten something every time :), and never got out the house.

Plus I'm tight and all those "only £5" soon add up.

What does a breastfeeding starter kit involve, btw?

Boobs
Nursing friendly clothes
Nursing covers
Lansinoh
Pump
Bottles
Steriliser
Bf pillow

There's lots you can be sold however you feed... what you need is debatable for both methods!

Breast.

Another one confused as to why you'd need a breastfeeding starter kit? Other than needing some nipple cream and chocolate bars (I always got so hungry doing the 3am night feeds when ds was a newborn so I kept snickers bars in my bedside drawer, and DH was often sent to forage for food for me once I'd scoffed them) the benefit of breastfeeding is that you don't need to waste your money on 'stuff'.

Not rtft but breastfeeding doesn't change your boobs/make them droopy, being pregnant does

Bluesky what you've said about popping out made me think - it will be easy to go out on your own and leave a ff baby behind (though you may still find it difficult!) but in terms of getting out with your baby bf is far easier, you need nappy changing stuff but that's it - no sterilised bottles, boiled water and powder. Etc. depends if you're going to be going out with your baby more often than without, in terms of which is more convenient.
A firm bf pillow (they are usually v shaped or wrap right around your middle) is an excellent piece of kit that really helped to take the pressure off my arms.

What does a breastfeeding starter kit involve, btw?

I needed to get some of the breastfeeding bras with drop down clips. Couldn't manage to wrestle breasts out of ordinary bras easily for feeds.

I have a breastfeeding pillow that I find very useful when feeding baby, but I could manage a similar effect with ordinary pillows / cushions if I didn't have the breastfeeding pillow.

Also, OP, be aware that milk doesn't come in for about 3-4 days. Many people give up feeding before they've really started as they believe they don't produce enough. It's deliberate. Babies need to suckle regularly right from the start to "order" what they'll need in a few days time (their saliva transmits hormonal messages through nipples - how amazing is that?!).

I've been breastfeeding for 17 months and I've found it really easy but in those early days it was difficult because you can't share feeds at night because of nipple confusion. And my breasts were bad anyway and I don't think breastfeeding has made them worse

I fed my three until they were weaned. Those early months were just the loveliest most rewarding times ever. Breastfeeding doesn't change the shape of your boobs, pregnancy does that.

Your DP can be fully involved with nappy changing, cuddling, bath time, bed times and looking after you whilst you feed.

I never even thought about my diet, I ate whatever I fancied. I've seem some research recently that suggests that breastfed babies grow up less faddy about their food, as they are used to breastmilk that changes in flavour depending on their mother's diet.

I'm a tightwad, and I loved the fact that we didn't buy bottles or formula! So that was a big bonus for me. That and the fact that breastmilk really is the best food for your baby. It's not for everyone but for me it was a wonderful experience.