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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

At what stage do midwives care about you?

64 replies

Hollyhop17 · 30/12/2016 08:46

I am 11+2 and just returned yesterday from a week in NY where I spent most of the time in hospital due to two separate bleeds. I have had numerous scans and the baby appears to be doing ok but obviously I am very worried. They told me in NY I was having a threatened miscarriage and I should seek help as soon as I arrived home. I left a message for my midwife yesterday when I landed and she rang me back this morning and basically couldnt have cared less. She said that I would have an appt at 16 weeks and they would check on me then. That was it. I am so appalled I am sat here crying. I really thought the NHS would care more and I would get an appt straight away. I assume because its early still they dont care if I have a miscarriage? How many weeks do you have to be gone before you recieve proper care? I feel a bit lost for words at the callousness of the call

OP posts:

toomuchtimereadingthreads2016 · 30/12/2016 11:57

Sending hugs this must be a really troubling time for you wondering what is going on with your baby :(

Unfortunately, going to have to agree with PP though. We all wish that doctors and nurses had a magic wand to solve our medical problems but in many cases they simply can't do anything. Am sorry if the midwife seemed uncaring on the phone, that must have been hard on you, but unfortunately as I said, there is nothing they could have done at this stage regardless of scans or taking you to hospital. Its a torturous process of wait and pray for the best.

Am currently living in another european country and am constantly surprised at the number of people in UK telling me (and posting on here) about early scans. Only way you would get an early scan here is if you were literally bleeding out. My midwife told me only to get myself checked if I was bleeding more than a normal period or for more than two days... scans can be reassuring but lamentably, waiting is the only solution. :(

UnicornPee · 30/12/2016 12:33

Just wanted to say sorry to you and I had a similar experience with my bitch of a midwife.
I MC in May and she also couldn't have cared less to the point she was a horrible heartless cow.

I'm pregnant again and unfortunately she is my midwife and I despise her

MollyHuaCha · 30/12/2016 14:35

Unicorn, maybe ask for a change of mw if you do not get on with her. A medium size GP surgery should have more than one? You could just say you can't help associating the current mw with your mc.

Kelsey28 · 30/12/2016 14:48

This is my first baby so I was really shocked at being left to get on with it, though in hindsight I don't kno what I expected! My issue is that I have had two antenatal appointments and seen different midwives at each covering a third midwife who is on long term sick. Today I'm worried about reduced movements, who would people recommend I get in touch with as I don't have a midwife so to speak?

MatildaWormwoodRoolsOK · 30/12/2016 14:54

Sadly, no amount of extra scans and measurements and tests can prevent miscarriage - and the research shows that they don't really reassure women, either. OP I'm glad the EPU were good. Beyond them, though, there's not much anyone else in the NHS can do . I do hope the bleeding settles soon and you have a long and uneventful pregnancy.

Blueroses99 · 30/12/2016 14:55

Kelsey I don't have a dedicated midwife but access to a midwife team, there should be some phone numbers on the front of your notes? They should be available 24hr after 18wks

HopeAndJoy16 · 30/12/2016 14:56

Kersey, you need to phone your local maternity assessment unit (antenatal day unit or similar) rather than the community midwives. Depending how many weeks you are they will be able to advise appropriately e.g. you may have to go in for monitoring if you are 26 weeks+. Hope that helps xx

angeldiver · 30/12/2016 14:58

Holly you may not get a 12 week scan now. I had an epu scan at 9 weeks due to a bleed and I didn't have another scan until 20 weeks.
As for the midwives caring? You may come across a couple during your pregnancy who do but I found them to be far too overstretched to do anything more than pay me lip service.
Good to hear baby is okay

Kelsey28 · 30/12/2016 15:01

Thanks Hope and Blue. After consulting my kick count app baby has actually been moving as much as usual. I think I have too much time to sit around thinking during the school holidays! One and out I think! Can't handle the stress of this again

Marmalade85 · 30/12/2016 17:34

I had a different midwife for every appointment.

Madshiplollipop · 30/12/2016 18:34

I had a different midwife for every appointment too.

TheTantrumCometh · 30/12/2016 21:07

Just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean they're being rude or unhelpful.

BravoPanda · 30/12/2016 21:09

I just transferred from NHS to One to One. I now have a dedicated midwife who's lovely instead of the dismissive old bat I had at my last appt. Utterly made up!

mistermagpie · 30/12/2016 21:31

Unfortunately you might have just got a bit of a dismissive midwife. I have had bleeding in both pregnancy before 12 weeks and received good and kind care both times. In my area you get the same midwife the whole way through and I've actually had the same one for both pregnancies which is great but I know this isn't the norm.

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