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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Is it normal to want to kill DH in late pregnancy?

84 replies

Booboobedoo · 18/02/2007 22:15

Because I'd gladly swing for mine right now.

He's always been a sensitive, caring, fantastic partner.

But in the last few weeks he's driven me to incandescent rage.

a) I know I'm hormonal and not handling things well.
b) I know he's under pressure with his first child arriving.

But FFS I'm 38 weeks pregnant, could drop any day, and the entire house is covered in crap I'm unable to lift because he thinks DIY is more important than making the house an ok place to bring a baby back to. He leaves me in an uncleanable nightmare and goes off to his nice clean office. Every time I move I bash my foot or my bump.

This has been going on for four weeks now, and every weekend he promises he'll put all the junk into the 'nursery' (hah) so that I can get the rest of the house clean.

Every week he has a lie-in, spends an hour in the bathroom, goes to the park with the dog for an hour, comes back, spends another half-hour in the bathroom, then finally starts faffing around at about 2:30-3:00pm. He works until around 8, then says he's too knackered to move anything into the room and I'll just have to live with it for another week.

Four weeks in a row he's done this.

I finally managed to get him to move everything tonight by having a total raving melt-down: not generally the way I like to sort things out, but needs must.

He's in total bloody denial.

ARRGGGHHHHHH!

Feel better now.

Bloody men.

OP posts:
Chandra · 19/02/2007 10:50

You want to kill him now???? wait until he starts telling you what to do when baby is just about to be born.... I didn't kill him just because there were too many witnesses

Booboobedoo · 19/02/2007 10:52

Yes, I'm steeling myself for that Chandra. My own birth-partner Mister Fixit.

I remember when my Aunty had my Cousin. We went to visit them in hospital afterwards, and my Uncle actually got on the bed and demonstrated my Aunty's birthing technique. Apparently she 'did it all wrong'.

She was laughing, but I bet he got a bollocking after we'd gone.

OP posts:
boredwithwaitingforminiMOSSY · 19/02/2007 11:11

Lol at Mister Fixit!

Mil is my second birth partner, thank goodness; she will be able to remain calm whereas I think dh will either run around like blue arsed fly or faint!

I can't see him doing a Mr Fixit though. Thank heavens for small mercies!

Creena · 19/02/2007 11:23

Thank heavens for this thread!!! I was beginning to think that I'm going mad. I spent yesterday seething with rage at my DH. There have been a few issues 'bubbling under' for a while now but it kinf od came to a head yesterday. Basically, I'm knackered, my bump is stretching so much it hurts and my pelvis is constantly painful - imagine my joy at spending the day doing the laundry, all of the ironing (this will be our third LO), changing the beds, trying to tidy DS' room after his sleepover the night before etc only to find that, whenever I walked into the living room, there's DH sat on his backside either in front of the computer, TV or a book. I ask him to help me move a large box filled with baby stuff I've bought into the garage (mainly so that I don't have to hoover around it when I later start cleaning the living room). He sneers and continues to read his book. I go absolutely apeshit. He again sneers and asks "Have you ever thought about getting professional help?" I go even more apeshit. We spend the rest of the day arguing.

Later, once things have blown over a bit, I start to feel really guilty and awful. I try explaining to him that I have masses of hormones coursing through my body and that actually, I do love him very much. It falls on deaf ears, it seems. He's taking it all very personally, so now I'm worried that it's caused a huge rift between us.

The absolute worst thing about all this though is that I'm only 26 weeks........

Ulysees · 19/02/2007 11:26

yes 'tis normal plus you really want to murder them once firstborn is here. My dh was the most evil man in the world and I ended up turning into her off the exorcist, almost frothing at the mouth

Of course he wasn't evil etc.... but at the time

Booboobedoo · 19/02/2007 13:09

Creena: you wouldn't be pregnant if it weren't for him.

Here's a virtual from me to him.

It's a blessing and curse innit?

OP posts:
Booboobedoo · 19/02/2007 13:10

That's arse btw

OP posts:
mytwocents · 19/02/2007 13:18

Great thread!
I'm 21wks pg with first - kakking it- and peeved about weight gain....
My 'd' p has been telling fat girl jokes.
To, er, cheer me up.

Booboobedoo · 19/02/2007 13:18

Another m2pw.

On the house.

OP posts:
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 19/02/2007 13:23

Yes quite normal. It's in one of my pregnancy books. It's known as the Black Widow Reflex. Recommend disposing of body quickly in case you get urge to eat it too. You have to be careful with raw meat, see.

ProfYaffle · 19/02/2007 13:28

It's just your dp? I'm 38+4 and raging against the whole fecking world. Was in hot tears of rage this morning when Tesco.com wouldn't accept my perfectly valid clubcard voucher.

Booboobedoo · 19/02/2007 13:30

You're due 3 days before me PY.

Everyone in the world is a threat/idiot at this stage, aren't they.

But especially DH.

OP posts:
Booboobedoo · 19/02/2007 13:31

Lol SHP. There's a lot of DH. I'd have to fillet him.

OP posts:
boredwithwaitingforminiMOSSY · 19/02/2007 13:33

Dh is one thing. I don't know about Tesco staff, but my COLLEAGUES? I can't be the only one who has thought about murdering her boss.

Is it so very wrong to want to throw him out of our fifth floor office?

gigglinggoblin · 19/02/2007 13:33

i have started moving the stuff dh leaves lying around at the weekend, i usually dump it on his desk or somewhere i know will really annoy him. i have also told him if stuff is left out it will be taken to the tip. i dont know if either of us thinks i am serious, but it could happen if i get mad enough so things are looking up.

i have honestly tried to be reasonable this time but am now overdue, can hardly walk, cant sleep and i just dont see why i should be anymore. i am sharing the wonderful experience of pregnancy with him the only way i can

mine is also lovely btw, when you read some of the threads on here it makes you feel awful for being mean but again, im 5 days overdue now so do not care. i might feel bad in 6 months, but probably not

ProfYaffle · 19/02/2007 13:34

I'm booked in for a c/s on Friday, thank f*ck. Was also incandescent due to the lack of public toilets on the A140 this morning, and don't get me started on my mil ....

gigglinggoblin · 19/02/2007 13:35

i had to leave playgroup quickly this morning when i found out 2 - yes 2 - women who were due AFTER ME have given birth in the last week. i am sooooo angry, i cannot believe they could be this unreasonable. did i mention its 5 days over now?

Lwatkins · 19/02/2007 14:05

Hehe this thread has reminded me of that episode of friends, the one where Rachel is overdue and EVERYTHING Ross does annoys the s**t out of her. The two classics include:

When Rachel walks into the coffee shop and walks over to the chairs. She asks the guys on the sofa to move up for her at which point Ross offers her his seat. To which Rachel replies whilst glaring at him 'YOU. Like you haven't done enough!'

And when Rachel is in the bathroom back at Monicas appartment, Ross walks in and shouts on her to tell her that they are late for their doctors appt. To which Rachel screams 'In a minute!' Ross' response to this is the classic 'People keep asking us why we're not together....I just don't know what to tell them!'

Oooo and Rachels 'seriously Ross breath louder that's great!' comment. Poor guy wasn't even aloud to breath without irritating her. Sounds like me and my exp. Thank god we're not together anymore cause when we were, if he even generally oxygenated in my direction it'd make me mad and i'd start to twitch. Could you imagine the relationship we'd be having now with me 26+1 weeks pg?!! Poor sod wouldn't stand a chance

robin3 · 19/02/2007 14:07

Yes normal. Remember completely loosing the plot over doing an on-line shop. First time I've felt rage in many years so left a strong memory.

potoroo · 19/02/2007 14:45

Mossy - I'm with you.
My new boss told me that the work I'm going to be doing (writing software specs) is 'just like giving birth. A bit of pain, then relief'.

How I didn't actually slap him is beyond me. And I'm only 9 weeks pregnant.

gigglinggoblin · 19/02/2007 15:53

lol dh breathing is one of the things that really annoys me atm, especially if im trying to eat and he comes near me. the upset over an online shop going wrong lasted several hours, he just crept away and hid poor thing.

MrsMar · 19/02/2007 17:38

hahaha what a great thread!!! I think you're going to find most of us have similar stories. my dh can't seem to understand that we can't keep the computer in the baby's room once it's born. He keeps saying he'll turn off the volume, and "don't they sleep through anything anyway?" and if I had a pound everytime he told me off for saying I was tired, I wouldn't have to work, ever again!!

LadyTophamHatt · 19/02/2007 17:56

Is it normal??

Bloody hell YES!

It's abnormal not to want to kill him in late PG if you ask me.....

boredwithwaitingforminiMOSSY · 19/02/2007 17:59

Lol gigglingoblin - although my dh kicked me out of bed for breathing too loudly / snoring

I didn't mind though. I got to sleep with the cat in the spare room. He doesn't complain when I toss and turn!

Muminfife · 19/02/2007 17:59

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