I know this has been posted about before, but I am really, really struggling, so could do with some input.
My current contraception ended a few months ago, and Dp was aware of this. He started talking about how it was a great time to have a family and every time we had intercourse he kept saying "this could be it!!", so I thought that he was ok with the possibility of pregnancy. I was thrilled at this, as neither of us are spring chickens, and I was unable to conceive with my ex-partner after two years of trying. He then got cold feet a month later, and I went back onto contraception, and then found out that I was pregnant.
Initially he was nervous but seemed genuinely happy and excited. Now I have been booked in by the midwife and am expanding at quite a rate (this is my second pregnancy, I have a teenager) he is adamant that I should abort. He has called me every name under the sun, I get barrages of hate-filled text messages from him, and feel utterly sick every time I even glance at my phone.
There is no way I can abort. I had an abortion as a teen due to rape, and I still beat myself up every single day, despite it being the best thing to do. I cannot go through that again. I was a single parent for a long time with my first, and was on my own with her from birth, so I know that I can do it again; being on my own does not phase me. It is more being able to cope with dp. I don't feel like I can break up with him as I am carrying his child, and between the horrid texts he keeps telling me how he loves me, and then follows it up with a rant about how selfish I am and how I have ruined his life. I am beyond miserable.
I have confided in two close friends, and they have both said that they think that I am being selfish as it isn't fair to "foist" a baby on him, and I should abort and then cut all ties with him, but I really do not want to abort. I just feel so alone and am worried about the effect that the stress is having on the baby.