I'm 27 weeks. I've been struggling with depression since the break up of my marriage 2 years ago. I have a lovely 7 year old boy.
I became involved with a man I'd known many years. He moved in and I accidentally fell pregnant whilst taking the pill. He begged me to abort. I couldn't. He rightfully said I'd struggle with my mental health.
He left. 3 months later he returned. Though he didn't seem happy and we had argued. He has left again.
I can't concentrate at work. I am struggling to concentrate all the time. All I can feel is his baby jumping around inside me. All I want is him to love us and help us.
Today I got sent home from work. I stood on a rural motorway bridge for 2 hours. I just wanted to jump. But knew it was wrong. I text him told him it's a cry for help and would he help me. He told me to go home.
Well I am home now.
I am struggling financially. I feel like a complete pathetic loser and I'd give anything right now for someone to tell me they love me and it'll be OK.
In short I don't want to be here anymore. I'd ideally like to have my baby. Give her to someone who can be better than me then just pass. My little boy would be happier with his Dad I'm sure.
I did call the samaritan's but I'm too in a state to speak and no words came out. Just feel like I'm a useless person.