OMG - first pregnancy at 46

[JustJaneForNow]

Hi there

The title says it all. We have just found out I am pregnant at 46, and I have never had children before (long story). My OH has two adult sons from his first marriage.

Needless to say it wasn't planned! We (mostly I) am in a huge amount of turmoil - he, bless him, is being very calm, is thinking ahead very logically about how to adapt, what to do, how we will work things out.

I have always wanted children but it just didn't happen. He knows this. I had decided that at my great age, it was never meant to be, and made my peace with it. I was on Cerazette, and took it as I should, without fail - and yet here we are.

I so want this baby, now that I am pregnant. Yet I'm terrified. I know nothing about parenting, I am very worried about the health risks to the baby, the greater potential for miscarriage - everything that goes with being so old (in pregnancy terms). I also have no idea how far along I am, as I wasn't having any periods on the pill (I found out about the pregnancy because I would take a test every now and again just to be sure I wasn't pregnant, but I can't remember when I took the last test!).

He has been wonderful - I'm under no pressure from him, and I think secretly he is delighted, despite all the obstacles and the massive upheaval this will bring if we decide to go ahead. I haven't told him that I 100% want to - it's the medical issues that are really scaring me. If I were younger, I'd be in no doubt at all.

Does anyone have any advice, please?

One of my friends has had a baby at 44. They gave her a 1in 6 chance of abnormality. She refused amino. She has a very healthy little girl and both are fine.
Huge congratulations x

Thank you Buttmuncher (great name!). Yes, more good advice here about resisting Dr Google! I feel calmer, just from having come on here and receiving so much support from strangers. I can't imagine struggling through the summer months...

Congratulations. You sound so lovely. I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy. My so called "not healthy" baby was born when I was 25 and he (and his little brother) are the best things that ever happened to me.

Good luck with everything, and if you want to please keep MN updated on your progress because everyone loves a bit of happiness especially when it is so unexpected.

Oh how lovely, congratulations!!

Look after yourself, eat healthily and enjoy being pregnant, I loved every second of it!!

Sorry to those of you who have offered support and advice and who I haven't replied to yet - my messages are a bit out of synch.

Powershower - thank you for letting me know about the Harmony test - it's now on my list! I do take Vitamin D anyway (but thank you again!).

Itsnotthend - I'm so pleased for your friend!

Twoseven - thank you so much! You sound so happy and also very lovely too :)

Jean - thank you :)

Congratulations!

If you feel exhausted, do please take a nap, in the early days you'll get wiped out just going to the supermarket!

Try and eat well too, though that can be hard if you feel sickly.

As a pp said, we'd love updates if you want to

Thank you, toffeeboffin!

So much to take in! I had an afternoon nap yesterday and have hardly done anything today at all... Sooo looking forward to going to bed!

Wonderful news, enjoy every moment. And gland watch Bridget Jones. You have been blessed

I had a "surprise" baby at 45 . My previous youngest child was 21. I did request an amnio but I believe there are other tests,available now. The pregnancy was trouble free except for the last two weeks when my blood pressure started climbing. The baby was overdue so they suggested a c section. My healthy baby boy is now a strapping teenager and has kept us young! Relax and enjoy your pregnancy. Congratulations x

Congratulations!

Folic acid, vitamin d and follow the NHS guidelines on food/drink.
Go for a dating scan - that will dictate how they conduct further screening. If you're more than 12 weeks along the combined screen isn't used as past that point the foetal lymphatic system kicks in and starts reducing the fluid in he nuchal fold. After twelve weeks they use the quad screen which is much less accurate.

The older you get the higher the number of false positives for the Down syndrome screening are so do not panic! if you get a higher number on the combined test. I think by age 49 it goes up to a 67% chance of a false positive (pulling those numbers off the top of my head but deffo in that ballpark.) so it's quite possible you'll get a ratio back that might be scary. In your situation I'd skip any offered amnio (the risk is small, but it's real) and go for the nipt testing - harmony, panorama- there are several types. You can do that from ten weeks but the amount of foetal DNA is often quite low then - 11+ weeks is better. It's not cheap but it's money well spent.

Then just look after yourself! Keep active but don't overdo it, eat well and just relax :)

Sorry, past 14 weeks for the combined test - fat fingers ...

JustJane Congratulations!

I'm a primary teacher and we have lots of mums who have had their babies well into their 40s. Enjoy!

Congratulations
Try to relax and enjoy this very special time.
Good luck!

Please check with GP before starting baby aspirin. It's isn't for everyone.

Congratulations.

What a lovely thread, congratulations on your pregnancy! I had dc3 at 43 and he's a happy healthy nearly (terrible ) 2 year old now! You will possibly find that due to your age you get additional monitoring, which is more reassuring anyway. Very best wishes to you.

Congrats! I highly recommend the Fetal Medicine Centre. I had scans from 6 weeks all the way through 2 pregnancies. They see loads of older mums. Did my Harmony tests there too. Have a good sleep!

My mum had my sister aged 47. I was 25 at the time. DSIS started university a couple of weeks ago. Congratulations

Same age as you and 8 months pregnant. Am loving it, she is looking healthy and due to be delivered by c section in four weeks. Get a little scan as soon as you can, try not to read too much and mist of all enjoy this glorious time.

Thank you all so much for your positive advice and good wishes!

The info on the scans is so very helpful - Hubbles I really appreciate the detailed (but not too detailed) information.

I feel so much better already :)

Congratulations

I am also going to be a first time mum (through IV) in December and will be a few months shy of 42.

As someone has already suggested I would book in for a scan which you can do privately and will be around £100, this will give you the best indication of how far along you are. Clearblue tests are not known for being that accurate and HCG can vary from person to person. Also, instead of having an amino which comes with risks as it is an invasive procedure you can have a 'Harmony' test, which is a simple blood test for various syndromes including downs. This can be done at 10 weeks.

Try not to worry too much and get lots of rest!

Hello - can I piggy back onto this thread. I'm 43 and 12+4 so will be 44 when have the baby. I've just got results of NHS screening test today which has given me a 1:50 risk factor of downs, so high risk. Had a harmony test, which I know is supposed to be more accurate and gave me a less than 1:10,000 so very low risk of 0.01%. I want to just ignore the NHS but don't feel able to. I know my age will have raised the risk factor a lot but can't work out how much - so wondering if anyone on here over 42 has had a test giving them a lower risk - say 1:150 or does everyone over 42 get that sort of result?

Hi oldmum!

You absolutely CAN ignore the NHS calculation. Your Harmony result is the one that counts as that is as damn near to a diagnostic test as you can get.

Well done on your great Harmony result! I am nearly 41 and 9 weeks today. Starting Harmony testing a week from now, and WISH I will get the results that you do.

I will have a Nuchal scan as well as Harmony, but if Harmony results are good then the Nuchal scan becomes much more about all the other abnormalities it is looking for.

In your shoes I wouldn't be worried about Downs any further at all.

At 46 was shocked to find I was pregnant. I had had many miscarriages, so didn't think it would 'stick'. We had long since stopped ttc. Worried cos of age, drinking during 2 weeks when didn't know. I didn't believe it was happening till after the Harmony( which was normal) and a scan. Dd is now 2 and is happy and healthy and bright. She is the best little surprise ever!

Thanks both - I will try and hold on to the Harmony test, if I had got the NHS test result I would be having the Harmony to help me decide and would then have been happy with the good result. I know my age is pushing the NHS one to 1:50 but why am I getting lower than say another 43 year old?

Hi all.

I dropped off this thread, which isn't great etiquette, I know.

I'm sorry to say that the week after I started the thread. I had a miscarriage. Whilst I have been on here since, I have been lurking. It's been horrible, I'll be honest. Me and my OH had talked so much about our unexpected baby, he was extremely calm, supportive and just everything I could have dreamed of, and then it was gone. He has continued to be wonderful, whilst I have been all over the place.

I'm back on an even keel now, sort of, but feel different, if that makes any sense. I'm not on any contraception at the moment as we're just seeing what happens.

However... I had the miscarriage without medical intervention, and then a short, light bleed which wasn't really a period 25 - 27 October. But nothing since. I've had what feels like period-type cramps every day for the last couple of weeks, but no period. Is this post-miscarriage normality?

Would love some insight, if anyone has any.