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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Is it strange not to be enjoying this at all?

35 replies

Holly29 · 07/02/2007 14:46

Hello, I'm new here - I'm 8 weeks - and I'm feeling really bad because since I found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago it's all been pretty rubbish. I've had really bad cramps which wake me up every night, I feel totally exhausted and I feel sick all the time (have not actually been sick). feel obliged to keep up this show of 'oh its just fab being pregnant' to my lovely DH but I actually feel like I'm on a train which will eventually crash (i.e. it will only get worse!). Is this normal? Feel really ungrateful, as know how hard it is to get pregnant...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

fannyannie · 07/02/2007 14:48

Yes perfectly normal - don't worry about telling your DH that you're feeling like sh*t. My SIL HATED (and openly said so) being pg - but she adores her 2 DD's and is a fabulous mum to them - it was just the pg that she couldn't stand.

Some woman are lucky and have great pg's and enjoy almost every minute - others find it hard going and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with admitting it.

WeaselMum · 07/02/2007 14:51

Hi Holly29 and welcome...I felt exactly the same as you at 8 weeks, although my cramps had gone by then. I felt so sick all the time that I just wanted to cry all day and getting through the day at work was awful. My pregnancy was very much planned and wanted, and I was delighted, but felt so low at that point I almost wished I wasn't pregnant (and I felt awful and guilty for feeling that way).

The good news is that by 12 weeks my sickness and tiredness were completely gone and I felt totally normal again. I hope it's the same for you, but meanwhile, talk to your dh, I am sure he will support you if you're feeling low.

Original poster

Holly29 · 07/02/2007 14:54

Thanks Weasel and Annie. You have no idea how much your two posts have helped - I almost cried with relief (mind you, I feel like crying a lot at the mo!). It's a real relief to hear that you also found it hard to get through the day at work - although sorry you had to go through it. Hopefully by 12 weeks I will feel better, I can't wait.

OP posts:

Tommy · 07/02/2007 14:55

completely normal

I'm at the other end of pregnancy (38 weeks) and it's pretty rubbish from this angle too.

Hnag in there and you'll have a lovely baby to cuddle

deaconblue · 07/02/2007 14:55

The cramps won't last much longer so things should get better. The first trimester was the worst for me, I was so tired I looked green. No-one explains the cramps either so I was convinced I was going to miscarry. Eventually looked online and discovered they were just my uterus expanding.

fennel · 07/02/2007 14:57

I disliked being pregnant all through it all 3 times. I waited hopefully for the (mythical) "blooming" stage which never came.

the good thing is I was always so happy NOT to be pregnant after the birth that the newborn weeks were blissful in comparison to pregnancy

funkimummy · 07/02/2007 15:02

I bloody hated being pregnant for the record!!! I had hyperemisis (v bad sickness) and got taken to hospital. I hated wearing maternity clothes, and I hated having a bump!! Absolutely adore my kids though. It'll be worth it in the end!

cinnamongreyhound · 07/02/2007 15:06

For me from 5 to 13 weeks were full of tiredness, sickness (throwing up multiple times everyday and feeling nauseous) and worry.

Once m/s had stopped and I had seen the baby was ok at the scan I was much better.

Had been trying for 6 months and very happy to be pregnant but I think you don't feel pregnant, all you feel is really rubbish, and I didn't tell anyone til scan either so you have to hide it all.

Even now at 31 weeks I have bad days where I wish it was just over. I don't want the baby early at all but I don't see much to be enjoying! I am still nauseous on and off, have heartburn, constipation, am tired, have become public property and no-one will let me do anything! I am really excited about having the baby but have to say apart from the fantastic part of feeling the baby moving I have not enjoyed being pregnant, and don't think I'm alone!

maewest · 07/02/2007 15:10

Think the first three months are hard. I felt knackered and queasy (although never actually sick) but because not many people knew I was pg, had to just stick it out. Also, I found out I was pg just before Christmas and had to deal with tedious drunk people at many parties (whilst I nursed the same half glass of wine I'd had all evening).

Congrats on your pregnancy, it will seem like ages, but then suddenly you'll get to the bit where they had you a wriggly little babe .

KezzaG · 07/02/2007 15:13

due Oct 07

Hi holly. As others have said, you are not alone in feeling like this. I take it you are due in October? you could join us on this thread and get some of it off your chest.

Wait until the end when you cant even roll over in bed, that sucks

sunnysideup · 07/02/2007 15:31

Hi holly, I wanted to add that I do think it's more common than you realise to not enjoy being pregnant......I certainly didn't, very much. It was all planned and hoped for, etc, but I spent about two weeks in tears as I was pleased but at the same time, devastated! It's such a huge life change and it is scary! I spent those weeks feeling nauseous, not from morning sickness I don't think, just from being upset!

However I certainly adapted to it and the fear left me somewhat; but I had a pregnancy related rash which kept me awake at night...there is no way that pregnancy is all sweetness and light. There is basically a parasite inside you which is making your body work damn hard!

However, alongside ALL that, your body seems to calm you and prepare you in some ways....you get used to the movements you feel and they are comforting and exciting.....and some people DO sail through and have a lovely feeling of well-being.

But if I were you I'd share with your DH how you are feeling. You are embarking on something big, and you need his understanding and support - don't deny yourself that. He's probably feeling pretty odd, too and may be glad to have it out in the open!

Good luck!

MrsBadger · 07/02/2007 15:35

perfectly normal, sorry!

don't be afraid to tell DH how rubbish you feel (I'd use 'I feel so ill' type lines rather than 'I hate being pregnant' though)

I felt like utter rubbish from 5-10 weeks - constantly hungry, nauseous, thirsty, tired, crampy, grumpy and tearful.
Am now 13 weeks and feels like I'm starting to recover from a long illness...

cupcake78 · 07/02/2007 15:50

You are completely normal. I am 7 weeks+ I think. Have had cramps, sickness. I feel exhausted all the time. Sick of being pregnant. Feeling very hormonal (already disappeared to the toilet to blub twice today). Going for scan tomorrow as I am convinced it is all going wrong (don't know how exactly).

I know that it gets better. Even if it does feel like S*T now .

Welcome to the mad irrational world of pregnancy.

matildax · 07/02/2007 15:53

i absolutely bloody hated pregnancy! from finding out right to birth, my baby is now 6 weeks and im exhausted but extremely happy not to be pregnant anymore, hang on in there, it will be worth it in the end i dont know many people who actually enjoy pregnancy, so you are certainly not alone!

mummydoc · 07/02/2007 16:00

don't worry Holly29 , with dd2 i felt so sick and miserable i actually used to contemplate having a secret termination just so i would stop feeling so awful ....and my dd2 was very longed for and had taken a long time to concieve using fertility treatment. you are very normal, i used to say to dh how i was so pleased about the baby abut not pleased about the prenancy ...i think he knew what i was trying to get at.

Piffle · 07/02/2007 16:03

Hi Holly
Some women love pregnancy, some don't!
The first 12 weeks can be pretty gross with nausea and tiredness and all the changes
It almost always does get better, then you find you have all sorts of moans and whinges and grumbles from about 33 wks, but at least by then you can see light at the end of the tunnel
It seems so far away at 8 wks
But you will feel better and remember - it's worth it!
I'm 34 wks and ready for it to be over, I do not enjoy pregnancy at all, but all in all it's a small price for a big prize
Hope you feel better soon

MelissaM · 07/02/2007 18:09

Holly29 Congratulations! Sorry you aren't enjoying your pregnancy. Don't worry about it. I think I only know 1 person who has enjoyed being pg (and she just seems to relish everything about children - very odd! )
I'm 18 wks and not enjoying being pg either, although am happy that I am going to have a baby at the end of it.
Do speak to DH about how you feel. He might surprise you and be very supportive, Mine is most of the time (although needs a little reminding sometimes).
Good luck with everything.

motherinferior · 07/02/2007 18:13

I loathed every moment of both my pregnancies. At its absolute best it felt like being in a strange cult religion with bizarre food taboos while a cat sat on my stomach and I was NEVER ALONE. At its worst I was agonised with SPD, heartburn, and strangers commenting on the size of my belly.

Er, so that would be a No, then

charmedhay · 07/02/2007 18:18

I had fertility with both my kids and felt i should be eternal gratful with first i bluffed along with no2 i felt sick for 9mths and could only eat fish and mash and had headaches all day ! I cried all the time and then felt gulity becoz all the other women who couldn,t get preggie As women i think the guilt gene is deeply embedded!!!!

TheArmadillo · 07/02/2007 18:38

I hated the whole of my pregnancy and I felt guilty about it because
a)it was an easy pregnancy, my health was better than it had ever been and I had no scares/problems.
b)I really wanted the baby.

I hated being so hormonal (having never really suffered from mood swings before) and I hated being so fat and exhausted. And having lots of restrictions being placed on me in terms of what I could do at work and what I could eat and drink and what people expected of me.

BUt that didn't mean I wanted the baby any less or that I wouldn't want another child, just that I didn't enjoy the pregnancy bit, and that was all.

Sexonslightlypuffylegs · 07/02/2007 18:45

Absolutely normal. I enjoyed my pg 1st time around, but this one is a killer. Now 28 weeks and cannot wait to get it over and done with.

Best wishes for the future. x

sophus · 07/02/2007 19:13

Finding out i was pregnant was the most amazing sensation - everything else since then has been pants and occasionally you get little glimmers of hope that keep you going. I don't know many people who have actively enjoyed being pregnant. My partner just says "you wanted to be pregnant so you can't complain now you are" but he is secretly very supportive - just a bit of a tosser vocally. Hang on in there and be realistic - it's no bad thing to hate being sick, tired and hormonal - in fact it means you are normal!

MrsMar · 07/02/2007 19:17

Hello Holly, I'm also new and also 8 weeks (on friday so 7+5 I guess!) I sympathise with you. It's not easy is it? I've not felt great myself, I am sooooo tired I could just crawl back in to bed as soon as the alarm clock goes off in the morning.

My house is now the filthiest most disgusting mess, because it's all down to dh as I can't face picking up a cloth!! I'm normally quite fussy about the house being spick and span and I'm horrified about the mess, but don't have the energy to do anything about it!

I haven't been sick at all, but have felt nauseous almost every day since week 4. I'm paranoid about putting on weight as I'm already overweight, but the only thing that help my nausea are sweet things or carbs! I'm hungry and sick at the same time for most of the time!

I feel really ungrateful about all this too, as it took me 18 months to get pg, and I know all these symptoms are a sign of a good strong healthy pregnancy, I'm just counting the days to week 12 when I can at least hope they start to fade!!! I hope you feel better soon xx

Loulee · 07/02/2007 19:34

Perfectly normal! I'm expecting my 3rd and forget how much I dislike being pg every time. Some people sail through it, others don't. Guess that's life - but you will have a wonderful wee baby at the end and if you're like me, totally forget what it was like being pregnant!

Miaou · 07/02/2007 19:35

Not read all the responses - but Holly at 8 weeks you are probably going to feel worse than you will at any subsequent point in the pregnancy! I'm pg with my fourth, now in my 17th week, and only just starting to enjoy it as I have been so sick and nauseous (still being sick but not as much as I was!). Plus you have all the exhaustion and emotional rollercoaster stuff to deal with too.

And don't worry if you hate every minute of pregnancy, some people do. It doesn't make them bad mothers

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