Hear me out on this one....

[DoubleCarrick]

Ok, so I think I have a crazy idea.

I'm currently 26 weeks pregnant and so far have hated pregnancy. I had a MMC last year which was traumatic and for the first trimester of this pregnancy was tense and nervous. I suffered awfully from sickness and nausea (although not bad enough for anyone to actually be worried), aces and pains, migraines and fatigue.

The nausea and sickness has carried on and started to subside at about 24 weeks. Lack of food has meant that I've lost weight and have generally looked like shit (face looking gaunt, dark circles around my eyes).

I suffered with some pelvic pain from about 10 weeks and by 14 weeks could hardly walk around the supermarket (my chiro has massively helped with this).

So all of these things seem to be resolving and now a couple of my ribs are almost permanently painful. I'm getting agitated and irritable and it's just making me want to cry. It's waking me up in the night and I'm just so tired and frustrated.

Ok, so I think mostly that's everything. On to my thoughts...

I've been doing some reading on hypnobirthing and the book I'm reading talks about the power of positive thinking. I spoke to DH about it last night and he said that he feels I have been focusing on the negative parts. He agreed that I've not been having a great time so I know it's not all completely in my head.

This is my plan...

Does anyone want to join me on a true positive thread? Things are shit, uncomfortable and worrying, yes. However, the idea is that the more you think of the positive things, the easier things feel and potentially the better things might go (obviously this is putting medical complications aside).

I'm going to fake it until I make it. I'm going to stop the whinging about all of the hard things and if anyone asks me how I'm feeling, I'll tell them something good. I'm going to ignore the breathlessness (tested and shown to be normal) and I'm going to go for a swim/a walk to try to strengthen my lungs. I'm going to ignore any worries and anxiety and just talk about how I'm looking forward to my baby coming and think about the preparations.

This thread is going to be my little positivity haven with not a single complaint in sight.

Maybe I'm mad? It can't hurt to try.

Would anyone like to join me with some relentless positivity?

Breast pads have arrived!! As have maternity leggings! Man, my life rocks

29 weeks today!

Yey!! Whatser!! I love the count down!

Been feeling pretty emotionally low this past week or so. I don't really know what's up with me. I can't seem to lift myself back up with any positive thinking. Anyone have anything positive to give me a boost?

ok here's a silly one - at pregnancy pilates last night we all had to bounce around on those massive exercise balls and thrust forwards - I couldn't help giggling and what really set me off was everyone else being dead serious about it

Not something to lift you but just to say I have felt exactly like you this week double. Hopefully the weekend will lift the spirits

Snap with the low mood. As a near the finish line it becomes harder - there is so much more to lose. Trying though!

I think I'm just starting to get nervous about labour been a bit over sensitive this week. Looking forward to getting some decorating finished at weekend so I can sort out the babies room!

I had a complication-filled labour with dd but loved every second of it. It was honesty tbe best experience of my life. Only read positive stories - I'll happily share mine if anyone wants to hear it but I don't believe in thrusting it upon people. I wonder if we are just at 'that stage'? I'm knackered and I don't think that is helping my mood. Off to a firework display tonight and I just want my Pyjamas!

I had some very low weeks a month or so back, so right around the 29-30 week mark. Couldn't really put my finger on why but it was a struggle. Can't really identify what has changed since then but I feel better. I hope it passes for you guys .

Can I recommend watching some videos for the labour fears? For anyone who is reading up on hypnobirthing, I have found it quite inspirational to see other women putting it into practice. There are lots of 'home' videos on youtube. My partner favours one born every minute, and even that, with its overly televised dramatics, has been useful in helping me realise that even the worst things are things that I could cope with. Totally agree on seeking out the positive stories. Whatser, I for one would love to hear yours.

I'm all for hearing positive stories please! It's been hearing a very negative one this week is what I think has put me off my stride

Would love to hear your story whatser

Made it to our little cottage last night. Think we definitely needed this weekend away. Just got the wood burner fired up and am looking forward to going back to our wedding venue to have a little reunion with the owners.

I think dh and I could do with a bit of reconnection this weekend. Just to spend some time together. He's been so busy with jobs on the house that I can't complain but it's made me feel very alone lately

Eee some white/yellow stuff just came out of my nipple admittedly for some reason I had the urge to squeeze it when I was getting ready for my shower. Could that be my milk?! I'm actually having a baby!!!

31 week bump pic

Awesome bump, Carrick!

My birth story is one that proves that even if you have complications, it can still be an amazing eperience. When I had DD I had undiagnosed hypertention which became pre-eclampsia. DD was also back to back! I got to 40+5 and opted to allow my midwife to do a sweep - I was already 2cm dialated and for the week leading up to the sweep I'd had contractions stopping and starting. After the sweep I started to bleed quite heavily so phoned the maternity unit and they asked me to pop in to be checked. Whilst I was there they spotted the blood pressure and protien in my unrine and admitted me. I went straight onto tablets, had to put on some lovely green socks and was told id need to be induced asap. This was the only scary bit - I wasnt expecting it. My community midwife had massively dropped the ball and the Sister on the ward was really cross. But, on the plus side, I was now being monitored and very well looked after. Luckily, for me, the sweep worked and I started getting contractions. I was admitted Friday afternoon and at 8am on the Saturday my contractions were coming every 30 odd minutes. I also lost my mucous plug (it really is like a giant bogey!) I was fine - they felt like my back and tummy were tightening. An examination revealed DD was back to back but I wasnt at all worried because the midwives were so calm and cheerful so I was quite happy that it was all progressing. I had lunch, my mum and MIL came to visit and I was happily chatting. The contractions became more frequent and started to get a little painful. I breathed through them and joked to DH that I was like Chuck Norris - too tough for contractions to hurt! Contractions then started comming fast - every minute and lasting for a minute. I honestly felt ok. I was managing without any pain relief at this point just fine. It wasnt the most painful thing Ive ever felt, it was more that it was relentless so I became tired. They moved me to a delivery suite and offered me gas and air. I took one puff but I didnt like it. After a few hours and not much progression in terms of dialation I started to feel a bit tired. They wouldnt let me move around as I had to be continually monitored with two monitors strapped to my tummy and my blood pressure being taken every 10 minutes. The midwife advised me to have an epidural as she felt a C-Section was likely. I expressed concern about losing the sensation in my legs so they offered me a low dose. I had it done - it was such a simple procedure and within minutes I stopped feeling the contractions as strongly. Me, dh and the midwife ended up sitting and chatting. DH left to get food. I texted my mum. It was amazing! Best of all, I could still feel and move my legs and I could feel my contractions and DD moving. Because I really wanted a vaginal delivery, they started a drip to help me dialate. I went from 5 - 10 CM in half an hour. By this time id been in labour a long time. DD's heart rate dropped a little and the consultant came in to check on me. He told me I had an hour to push or he'd have to intervene. That was it! The midwife turned the lights out in the room except for the wall lights and dh stood by my side. With every contraction, the monitor counted the pressure on the machine. DH stood there going 'you are having one, its getting intense' and I was laughing at him because I could feel it so I knew. He and the midwife were cheering me on and encouraging me to push. I loved the pushing - it was brilliant. DH looked at me at one point and said 'how are you doing this?'. I was like 'I dunno but I am!' After about 50 minutes of pushing (DD kept retreating) the midwife said that she needed me to really dig deep because otherwise she would have to intervene and she didnt want too as Id done so well. This was all the motivation I needed. I pushed and pushed and she crowned. DH announced he could see her nose - the midwife informed him that it was her head! A couple more pushes and she was out and on my tummy - this beautiful, pink, gunky little person. I honestely felt like superwoman. There was this amazing feeling of recognition - I knew her already even though I was only seeing her for the first time. DH announced 'its a girl!!' and I actually responded with 'of course she is a girl!' even though we hadnt found out. DH bent to kiss her head and she pooed all over my tummy! It was so unbelieveably beautiful and gross at the same time. She then breastfed whilst the midwife delivered the placenta (which dh photographed because he was so impressed with it!) and I was lucky enought to have no tears or anything. DD weighed in at 7lb15. Within an hour I was in the shower whilst DH dressed dd. I couldnt stop smiling and giggling to myself. I was euphoric! We got back to the ward in the early hours and I fell asleep with my hand holding her tiny hand as she lay in the crib next to me. With all of my complications it should have been horrific, but it honestly wasnt. The midwives were brilliant and I honestly think that listening to their advice was what made my experience so good. I wish I could have had an all natural, waterbirth type delivery - the contractions were so much easier to deal with when I was moving around. But, mine and dd's safety depended on me being monitored and that meant no movement. The mobile epidural helped so much. The one disapointment I have this time is that I might not get to do it again if my placenta hasnt moved out of the way. Im not scared of having a c-section - I just really loved giving birth and want to do it again!

whatser such a beautiful story. It's so lovely to hear of interventions from a positive perspective. Sounds like you handled it all amazingly! Thankyou for sharing, I really enjoyed reading it.

Dh proposed to me this morning!!! Eeekk!!!! He didn't propose last time because we mutually agreed to get married so this morning he proposed with an eternity ring. It's beautiful!

It was so lovely going back to our wedding venue last night and we've already got plans to do it next year too

What a lovely story whatser, thanks so much for sharing it. I agree, it's not often you hear of a birth where interventions were necessary told in a positive light. Sounds like you really did cope like superwoman, I hope you get the chance to do it again this time.

carrick, congratulations! How sweet of your DH to think of something like that. Were you surprised?

Awww whatser that was so lovely! Made me cry (in a good way) thank you so much for sharing it has made me feel better

Congratulations double sounds like you are having a fab weekend!

I was really surprised - didn't expect it at all. He's a sneaky bugger sometimes. Doesn't help that we are both self employed so neither of us really know where the other person is supposed to be on any given day. We've had a lovely day on the sea front today and had a really nice Sunday lunch followed by a huge nap!

Congrats Carrick! What a lovely surprise! My carbon monoxide detector bleeped today and we had the gas board out. We've either got a faulty alarm or a slow carbon leak from the boiler. We have no central heating until we can get British Gas out on Wednesday! No!!!!

Oh wow, that sounds like a disaster!! It's so cold at the moment. Take a small positive - at least you don't have no heating and a small baby! Thank goodness for your alarm!

I'm not pregnant but did natal hypnosis with both my DCs. It worked a treat and labour was very intense and (with dd1 as she was crowning) I was 100% sure I was going to die but I was ok with it (weird). Rest of the labour was fine. With dd2 it just happened and was totally manageable although very painful. Just here to chuck in that thinking positive does work and so does cutting out listening to negative birthing stories. I had v quick labours with no intervention both times. You've got this mama

just caught up, from one double to another- congrats op!

thanks double

Absolutely shattered today but I need to leave for work in an hour so am fighting the urge to sleep and am instead going through the bits I need to buy for my hospital bag. Might as well think about getting organised!

Good morning all.

It's very quiet on here lately so thought I'd post a few random bits.

My friend came round yesterday and helped me get a load of baby bits out of the loft. So exciting to see all of the baby bits in the same place! Now all I have to do is sort them all out. Easier said than done with no furniture built in the babies nursery but I'm just going to use tubs of some description and that'll do for now.

We ordered a moses basket from amazon and it came really quickly. The dog tried to climb in it! Trying to keep things really chilled with him so didn't particularly tell him off but will def be trying to discourage that! We're planning on leaving the main baby bits out over the next few weeks so the dog can get used to it all - he doesn't seem especially bothered but is a sensitive boy at times incidentally, did I say that we have an appointment for him to go see the Supervet from the telly?

My husband was hoping to finish work early December to get the house sorted and ready for baby but he's had another job booked in so won't be finishing until at least the 14th now. He's starting to panic about getting everything done but I'm sure it'll get there in the end! I think he's beginning to scale back his grand plans of ripping the staircase out!

Not much else to say really. Ante-natal classes start on Saturday. They've squeezed my work timetable pretty tight as I work evenings and have had to cram clients into any other evening space I can find. This next month is going to be chaos and I can't wait to finish work!

Ill update too - Im 30 weeks today! It feels like such a milestone. Struggling to manage my anxiety now that it all seems to close but I am trying. I should find out in 12 days if my placenta has moved so will have more of an idea as to what type of birth I will be having. This weekend DH and his dad are laying our new wood floor in the lounge, dining area and conservatory (its all open plan so quite a big area). Getting rid of the previous owner's manky beige carpet was joyful! We are having real wood which is so much easier with small children. It is the final piece of the decorating puzzle for downstairs and I cant wait to see it all finished. Just in time to fill with Christmas decorations! After that, we only have the baby's room to decorate and then we are pretty much done. Although I also want to paint my bathroom and might try and get that done before Christmas. I did it last year but I dont like the colour anymore! My hospital bag is packed, dd's over night bag is packed and the baby's bag is ready to go! I bought a couple of neutral babygros in case the scans were wrong and we end up having a boy! It happened to my cousin and she had bought everything in pink so I'd rather have a back up plan! I love newborns in white gros anyway!

We aren't up to much just decorating the house like you guys! I was really brave and sorted the nursery out yesterday and built some flat pack furniture by myself it felt really good to get everything sorted and made my mind feel like it's in order. Still nervous about birth but I keep telling myself that this is normal and what will be will be.