Anyone between 4 - 8 weeks, and feeling very nervous?

[LHReturns]

Hello! This is my first tentative step from the Infertility Board.

I am 5 weeks and 1 day, not feeling any substantial side effects yet - and until I see a strong heartbeat I feel like a fraud over here on Pregnancy. But equally I don't belong for the moment over on Infertility.

My battle has not been that long - been trying for about 18 months, and this was my first fresh round of IVF. We transferred two 5-day blasts on 13 September (my cycle is 24 days so somehow this makes me 5+1 today).

My IVF was at the Lister, and I have one naturally conceived son who just turned 2. I am nearly 41 years old.

If there is anyone else out there who has their BFP, but getting here has been a great struggle for any reason, and you are counting the minutes until a viability scan (and then will be very nervous about genetic screening), maybe you would like to chat here for a while?

Would love some buddies through this tough period!

Hi yes I'm 5 weeks pregnant and totally crapping myself my heads all over the place this baby was planned so I'm so confused why I'm feeling like this was a big mistake ! Anyone else feeling like this ? Xxx

Welcome User147!

Congratulations on your pregnancy. This is my second pregnancy and was via IVF so even though I have private moments of 'WTF have I done?!' this is mainly down to my crippling morning sickness. I do want this baby desperately.

However, with my first (DS is now 2) I was absolutely crapping myself. I was 37 when I got pregnant with him, so grown up enough to know better. But my BF and I (now husband) had not been together long. He convinced me I would be mad not to try to have a baby (he already has two from his first marriage), and I guess I was seduced into the idea of being a mum with this lovely new man.

So here I was with a major career (I owned my own business at the time, I have since sold it), my own house, total independence, and lovely BF - I flounced off to the GP on a whim and had my Mirena coil removed....and of course within 6 weeks I was up the duff. I literally went into shock!! Maybe that is how you are feeling now! So yes it was planned but a big part of me didn't really think it would actually happen!!

Every day of the pregnancy that passed I realised that my life was no longer my own, this tiny terrorist inside me was literally sucking the life out of me - he made me sick and exhausted and emotional. My career confidence took a big dive and I think my poor BF wondered what on earth he had suggested!

Anyway, roll forward and I can categorically say it was the BEST spur of the moment thing I ever did. I found pregnancy tough and the newborn stage even tougher. I swore I would never ever EVER do it again. But it was an adventure, and here I am so desperate to do it again, and so fearful that at nearly 41 I may have missed the chance.

But your words 'feeling like this was a big mistake' really resonate with me. I have been there, and felt guilty for so long for feeling that. What you are feeling is totally normal, your hormones are all over the place, you probably don't feel yourself, and perhaps like me you need to actually BE pregnant to realise what changes you are going to face.

I suggest just take one day at a time. There is no point in me telling you that it will be the best thing you ever did, because you need to discover this for yourself. What I did enjoy at this early stage was planning for the scans and reading about pregnancy and watching my various symptoms. When I couldn't cope with the big picture I just treated it like any other work project and that helped.

Has this endless ramble helped at all? You feeling any nausea yet, and / or thinking you might have an early scan?

Hello all, welcome user and any other new people (on phone so can't read back easily)

I had my scan and the baby was there (!), there was only one, and it was just the right size. We could see it's heart beating away. The sonographer said the heart rate was normal but I read loads about miscarriages after my last one and it is on the lowest end of normal. I think I just need to try and keep calm and take all the positives we can though.

How was yours Robber?

I seem to have somehow made myself more worried, not less... my symptoms still seem pretty minor (apart from all the sleeping...)

How's everyone else?

I actually think I feel better just having typed that. It was normal. It's important not to be paranoid!

Orange - many congratulations!! That is wonderful news.

Regarding lower end of normal - so was mine! I didn't mention it yesterday as I didn't want anyone worrying today. I know exactly the stats you have looked up online regarding miscarriage by early scan heart rate - they dominate a Google search on this. I was bothered so asked my sonographer about them and he said if you are within the 'NORMAL' band then your scan was NORMAL. Anything within that spectrum is normal and we should not worry about anything. I have seen the report sent to my consultant - it clearly says normal, and make no reference to the rate being at lower end of normal for being at 6 weeks.

I don't know if this helps - but I agree entirely that scans can serve to reassure but also lead to many more questions and many more things to look up!

For now we must enjoy the fact we had normal early scans. Well done!!

Thanks LH for your calming words and courage in asking! I just though 'must have got it wrong', failed to say anything, and then did insane googling.

Normal scans! Woo!

Evening all! Sorry for my slow response, my scan was an hour late today so I had to make up time at work this evening, then come home a lie in a darkened room thanks to nausea.

Oranges that's great! As LH says, I think we just have to cling to the good news and step away from Google she says like a total hypocrite.

LH how are you feeling? Have you kept anything down today? The list of foods I can stomach is getting smaller by the day. I'm not really being sick, just horrible mouth saliva.

User I think your feelings are very normal.I don't feel like that, but I think having a bad early scan (as I had last week) makes you realise how much you really want it. However I would NOT recommend that as an option!

So the good news - I saw a fetal pole and heartbeat! Though having read your comments above, I'm now wishing I had asked what the HB was so I could google it. But the sonographer seemed happy with it.

The not so good news. The fetal pole is measuring a bit small - depending on angle, between 5.3mm and 6.4mm - which puts it three or four days behind what it should be. Because of the fertility treatment and ovulation trigger, I'm pretty sure when I ovulated, though I don't know when it implanted - could late implantation explain it? They said they'd have expected over 7mm at this point, so I've got to go back in two weeks for another scan. DH isn't worried, he says it is genetically half mine so the baby is just faffing around and being a bit late. I suppose at least I'll get to see my baby again in two weeks.

Firstly Robber - god your day sounds hideous - I would not be surviving days like that right now. All admiration to you.

Congratulations on a good scan! If there had been any concerns about heart rate he/she would have had to tell you.

On the measurements: Robber, forgive me I cannot recall the exact fertility treatment you have had - can you explain to me? Is it IUI, or do you just do the business with DH at a specified moment? You know I am no expert but with my son and multiple friends (so I am talking natural conceptions here) we have all been anything up to a WEEK behind where we expected at early scans. I do not want to be ignorantly optimistic if with your type of treatment there is just no chance of any variation in ovulation, time for sperm and egg to meet, fertilisation time, and implantation time. But I know far too many examples of women being way off their expected dates (nearly always behind where they expected - I will never forget as it meant a further week of puking to get thru) and for all of us, after another scan (like you will have), the due date is simply pushed back a few days.

How are you feeling now, and is the nausea passing? Can you relax over the weekend?

How many weeks and days pregnant do you believe yourself to be at the moment?

In summary I am with your DH - what you have told me wouldn't have me overly sweating yet. But Jesus, don't you sometimes wish that we didn't have access to nearly so much info?

I'm doing better thanks. Having rolled out the medium guns yesterday with a drug called Domperidone which I have had medium results with in the past, I had a stern phonecall with DH last night who has been travelling in the US all week. He told me to stop mincing around and get on the phone to my Harley St guy who managed my hospital visits last time. So I duly did and as of about midday today the big guns were rolled out (aka steroid Prednisolone). This should work (or not) within 24 hours.

I am feeling much better, and have not thrown up since this morning. Mornings are the worst though, so tomorrow when I wake will be most telling. Consultant wants to see me on Monday afternoon when he will assess next steps. My problem is partly the vomiting (and all doctors really care about) but honestly it is the agonising nausea that keeps me awake at night, and makes me scared to stand up or go anywhere that haunts me the most.

It is a relief tonight because obviously our nanny doesn't work weekends so I am now alone with toddler and four dogs until DH gets back tomorrow late morning. It really sucks to be constantly on the verge of throwing up with a bunch of chubby puppies trying to competitively lick my face.

Anyway, well done again on your scan. Is the next one booked and how far along will you be then?

Robber - sorry to hear you didn't get all the news you wanted but I hope there's lots of truth in what LH and (as a non expect, obviously) late implantation does sound like it would make sense. And that can vary by 6-9 days, can't it? Congratulations on the heartbeat.

And don't let my crazy googling on heart rates worry you, as LH says, they would have told you if any worries.

LH - sorry you're feeling so rough and hope this plan helps.

LH how are you feeling today? Did the drugs kick in? I can't believe you're coping with HG, a toddler and four dogs on your own. Is your DH back soon?

Thanks Oranges, how are you feeling now? When is your next scan?

How is everyone else?

Thank you so much for your reassurance. Now I'm more awake (I slept for ten hours last night - all the insomnia and worry caught up with me) I've done some calculations and googling and I'm less worried. I had ovulation induction, which means you get given a trigger injection and then ovulate 24-48 hours later, usually 36 hours. This fits with when I felt ovulation pain at 10am on Monday 5th Sep. So by my calculations (which I double checked today) I was 6+4 yesterday, and they said the embryo measured 6+2, which is a pretty small difference. I don't think I'd have worried at all if they hadn't asked me back for another scan 'just in case'. But I should be grateful that I'm getting such amazing care, especially on the NHS. My next scan is on the 20th, so not too far away.

Question for you all - are you having a NIPT/Harmony/Panorama test, and if so when?

That makes total sense Robber! I'm glad you are feeling better. As I said in my last post: people finding themselves behind where they thought they were is utterly normal. I know so many examples. Only two days out sounds like nothing to me!

The Prednisolone has kicked in and I have not been sick today at all. Thanks for asking. I think I am consuming about 8000 calories a day, but can live with that if I can keep standing up and head out of loo. A large jacket potato with butter is a small snack today.

DH is back now. I won't deny I am absolutely exhausted doing a weekend like this (we have my step kids here as well) feeling the way I do, and I am hugely grumpy, but it is all doable - IT WILL PASS.

I will definitely be doing Harmony at the Fetal Medicine Centre. Only because I am familiar with the place and always had good experiences there (I hasten to add I have NEVER had a scan with The Professor there!). Unless my consultant proposes something else this time I would like to go back there. With Harmony you go in at 10 weeks where they take bloods and also do a reassurance scan. Two weeks later, at 12 weeks, you go back for the results and also your nuchal scan. As you might imagine, if your results are good (e.g. 1 in 10,000 for the most common trisomies) then the scan is a rather more relaxed experience.

Lots of women seem to be doing Panorama test too - they do very similar things. As I am over 40 this subject makes me extremely anxious. I can't just calmly focus on the stats, I need to really agonise over it the test results are in.

Do you plan to do one of these too?

Hi all,
LH, my spotting has been pink and then brown then stops, then repeat every few days. Some bright red blood last Tuesday which really worried me but none since, only the pinkish stuff.

I've got my scan on Tuesday, if it's not fine I'll be really miffed as feeling pregnant today, exhausted, nauseous, heartburn and sore boobs!

I'm not going to have the harmony test as I can't afford it, in order to have 6 months mat leave I still have over 1000 pounds to save (I'm the main earner) and if rather spend the £400 on a new pram. I don't know how I'd feel if I was high risk anyway I don't think I'd abort.

I'm glad you're more relaxed now you have done the calculations. I'll will hopefully be reassuring on your next scan and you'll enjoy seeing little one again.

Don't worry about minor symptoms Orange, I sailed through the first trimester of my first pregnancy, no hangovers meant I felt better than I had in ages! DD is six now.

Hello all.

Glad you're feeling better, Robber, and that the number crunching is sounding so much more positive.

And glad you're going to get a bit of a break now LH. That does sound like a superhuman feat you've accomplished this weekend.

I've been at my parents this weekend and I'm fluctuating between fear of another miscarriage and just mild worry! I'm totally exhausted again (LH - just in awe of you this weekend) and starting to get mild nausea, dizziness and hot flushes (!), so hopefully that's all good news. This would be my first.

I am planning a Harmony/something test but haven't decided which one, and I guess we'll do it at 10 weeks (after another scan I guess, to check it's all progressing OK before we spend £400 or whatever it is). I'm 34 this month so relatively low risk, but it seems like these will be available on the NHS in a couple of years and we are lucky enough to be able to afford it, so it's a good idea to get that level of care.

Haven't decided where though - I think I'd like to find someone with doctors rather than just ultrasound technicians, like the sweet but tiny place we got the scan. I could go to London as we're only 50 mins away by train. Not sure...

Nimisha - cross posted with you. Thanks for the reassurance, and keeping everything crossed for your scan.

I suspect I should be doing more financial planning for maternity leave. If this isn't a question I should be keeping until second trimester safety: People with little ones, how long did you take last time and what would you ideally like this time (all being well)?

Hey all

I'm jealous of your hot flushes - I'm still getting cold shivers, it is rubbish!

Nimisha good luck with the scan tomorrow, let us know how it goes. From what I've read, spotting is very normal in pregnancy.

Oranges I'm sorry you're feeling poorly. Remind me, how many weeks are you now? I still worry about miscarriage too, I think it will be normal behaviour for the next 34 weeks...

LH how are you, still not being sick? Today was my worst day yet, I spent the morning moaning quietly to myself and hugging my office bin but thankfully not actually throwing up. The list of foods I can stomach has shrunk again, DH is getting slightly annoyed about all the food I'm making him eat because I've gone off it!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the NIPT tests. I will definitely do one of them, I'm just not sure which. I'd like to do Panorama or SAFE as they statistically seem to have more accurate results. However that means a trip to London (not a massive deal) and then I worry about the ongoing pathway if there is an issue. I've got my midwife booking in slot on Thu, so I'll ask her what she suggests.

Sorry to hear about the cold shivers Robber! How are you feeling otherwise? I'm 7+6 today, how about you?

How are you doing LH?

And good luck tomorrow, Nimisha.

Hello all! So sorry for my quietness - been trying to address my nausea 'situation'.

Nimisha, how was your scan today? It was an 8 week scan wasn't it? Been thinking about you and so hope the scan provides some relief from the spotting worry.

Robber how are you doing and how is the nausea?

I had my final visit to Lister today where they scanned me before sending me to join the world of 'normal pregnant women'. It went well, all looks good. Orange, my lower end of normal heartbeat last week has shot up to over 150 so huge relief there! I am sure you will find the same at your next scan.

I am drugged the eyeballs with pregnancy- safe Prednisolone (steroids). I have now not been sick for three days and I have even been to work.to I feel awful - like a total zombie, but ANYTHING is better than the crippling nausup ea 24 hours a day. Still eating about 8000 calories a day. Might wash my hair tomorrow for first time in a week.

So sorry not to sound perkier. Hyperemesis gets in my head somewhat....it will PASS!!

Missing you all and would love to hear news. Granny, how are you doing?

Hi all,

My scan went fine, I dated a little earlier than I thought but the sonographer wasn't worried. (7 +3 so 7+4 today, I thought I was 8 weeks). Lovely beating heart.

I'm reassured. Still spotting though, that hasn't stopped. I've volunteered for a trial looking at progesterone in early pregnancy for people who have bled. So I'm on twice daily progesterone (or placebo) until 16 weeks.

I'm glad the vomiting has stopped LH. Hope you feel better soon.

Robber I've been having shivers too but I think that it's my horrible cold which has run into its second week.

Glad all scans have gone okay for everyone!!! I've had spotting since last night and got my self so worked up about it today... spoke to doctor and she says from what I said it seems OK... but if gets heavier or get cramps/pain to then call and they will send me for a scan! Tried to get hold of midwife but she's no use. Luckily have my first midwife appointment tomorrow so fingers crossed she can give me some advice!! Feeling really down about it though at the moment and to top it off I'm on a course again tonight!!! Roll on bed time! Hope everyone has had a good day xx

Hello everyone and congratulations!! Can I join?

I'm 5weeks+3 I think, hard to calculate as it cycles were all over the place ttc and it's another 2 weeks before I can even get in to see a GP!

Sorry for silence, the nausea has wiped me out this week. I'm not even vomiting and I feel like I'm dying - LH you and every woman with HG have my complete respect, how on earth do you get through this? I hope you are still not being sick.

Nanny your local hospital should have an early pregnancy unit. If you're still worried tomorrow I'd give them a call, my EPU nurses have been wonderful. I also hope your midwife is better than mine, I saw her today and she was useless. I actually think she was a Bounty rep and had my real midwife was bound and gagged in the cupboard!

Nimisha hope you're feeling better? My cold is also dragging on in its second week, I think that's partly why the nausea is so bad.

Welcome Starlight and hello to everyone else. Sorry for the moaning!

I'm about to leave civilisation (aka a wifi connection) for the weekend. Hope you all have a lovely nausea-free few days!

Have a good weekend Robber. No screen time will be good for the nausea I'm sure.

Guys, forgive me, I am deep into Hyperemesis and struggling a lot. I am posting on the Hyperemesis Support thread for their help.

As soon as I can face it I will be back here and contributing properly. So sorry to be totally shit right now. Please stick around - we will have fun on a few more weeks I'm sure....

Hello all and welcome newcomers. Sorry for the silence this week - very busy at work (my new boss keeps saying 'we should get this right so when you go off to have a baby...' while I look awkwardly at the floor)

LH so sorry to hear you're so unwell. Hope everyone else is doing OK.

LH I hope you've had a restful weekend and are feeling a bit better. Don't worry about posting, take care of yourself and we'll see you when you're feeling better.

Oranges me too, a project I'm in charge of has been dragging on and deadlines are now mounting up, and I've got a few big meetings to prep for. All I want to do is work 9-5, go home on time and lie on the sofa/bathroom floor, but fate has other plans . I might not be posting much either for the next few weeks!