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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

"knowing your luck it will be another boy"

38 replies

thecatsarecrazy · 22/09/2016 09:15

Why do people think this is ok to say? I have 2 sons, I'm expecting a 3rd baby. I went out last night to put some rubbish out and neighbour who I only have a bit of small talk with said oh your getting big how many weeks? Girl or boy ? I said I don't know we didn't find out. Then she said could be another boy, knowing your luck it will be. I did try to ignore her but its pissed me off actually. When I was expecting last time my half brother said I was going to have another boy because I'm not lucky enough to have a girl. I just want a healthy baby. I'm already anxious because my first d.s wears hearing aids and I'm petrified of having a profoundly deaf baby. Its always people who have a mixture of boys and girls. Sorry for the rant but been stewing

OP posts:

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ListenToYourHeart · 22/09/2016 09:20

I agree it's frustrating a not a nice thing to hear. Some people just tend to not think before they speak.

I have 1 DD and currently pregnant with DD2, before finding out it was a girl I was getting so tired of all the "bet you're hoping it's a boy" comments. When in reality I had had a few health scares and was only hoping for a healthy baby regardless of the sex! Was more frustrating when people close to me knew I was anxious about the 20 week scan due to the health scares, yet still continued to say bet you can't wait to find out if it's a boy or girl.

missyB1 · 22/09/2016 09:21

Oh God I know exactly what you mean! I've got three gorgeous boys and I had to put up with all those stupid comments as well. In my last pregnancy I started pulling people up on it, I would give them a hard stare and say "actually we are just hoping for a healthy baby because of course that's the priority". Or else " oh we are so looking forward to this baby whatever the sex, we love our boys".

CanISayOfHerFace · 22/09/2016 09:24

I already have a DS and am 38 weeks with a girl. So many people make comments about how lucky I am to have one of each or how I don't need to have anymore now. I really had no preference and would've loved a little brother for my DS. Of course I am happy with a daughter too.

I wonder if it's just something people say to make conversation. So tedious.

raisedbyguineapigs · 22/09/2016 09:29

I hate it when people say something 'to make conversation'. It's so idiotic. You don't have to say anything! 'Thats exciting' or something would be fine. I had this with my DS2, all the 'are you hoping for a girl?'

CocoLoco87 · 22/09/2016 09:35

I have DS1 and am expecting DS2. Lots of people have said 'oh next you need a girl'... err actually I'd be pleased with anything healthy! (And I'd secretly love 3 boys )

Original poster

thecatsarecrazy · 22/09/2016 14:27

Thank you for your replies. Its so rude isn't it. I remember when ds 2 was born people would ask what I had, I would proudly say another boy and I would nearly always get oh are you disappointed? No I'm not.

OP posts:

wineandsunshine · 22/09/2016 14:31

Oh yes I remember this well, I have 4 DS's and It got very annoying in my last pregnancy. I remember the anxiety before my 20week scan - yes I would have loved a girl but being healthy was the main concern! Try and ignore them! X

Caipira · 22/09/2016 15:18

What a stupid and unkind thing to say. People used to say this to me when I was having my 4th. Assuming I was having a 4th because all the others were boys. When I said it was a boy at a baby group, one woman said "Oh shame, were you hoping for a girl this time". Stupid, annoying shit, why do people think saying this is OK?

ohhelloagain · 23/09/2016 06:13

Had this a couple of days ago at the school run!

''do you know what you're having?''
''yes another boy''
''your second boy is it?''
''it is yes''
''ah, you'll have to try again for a girl then!''

Uhhh absolutely not! Thrilled to be having 2 boys - little boys are lovely!

Not all women want a little girl to dress up or play dollies with, but I think its those who do who assume we must all think alike..

All the best for the new baby OP!

ellesbellesxxx · 23/09/2016 06:21

People always seem to assume you want something/extra in life.

Singledom: "so when will you meet someone?" Er don't know?

Meet someone "when will you get married?"

Get married: "when will You have a baby?"

Baby:"when will you have another?" Gah!

In my naive teenage days I thought it was the thing to want a boy and a girl.now going through IVF, they could be either... And I would just be so happy to have them. As for a second, we can't even guarantee having one right now so to have two babies at all, let alone two of same gender would be a miracle!

Gah!

oklumberjack · 23/09/2016 06:28

People speak crap.

I have a dd and a ds. We didn't find out beforehand either. When ds was born I got told things like....

"I was 'clever' for having one of each" (yeah, like I had much choice in it)

But my favourite one was - "Oh what a shame! They won't be able to play together".

What shit.

Enjoy your boys OP. I know plenty of friends with all boys/all girls, my sister has 3 girls. All the children are fabulous and unique.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 23/09/2016 06:38

It's no better when you do get one of the 'other' colour. I have G G B. People would say 'oh boys are very different.' 'how do you think you will find it having a boy after two girls' 'oh boys are quite rough' 'someone for dh to play sport with while you go shopping with the girls'

To everyone's sheer amazement the main difference remains the presence of a penis. Personality wise he remains a mixture of both girls (who are quite different to each other), he has never hit anyone outside of the house, and all three went through hitting phases amongst themselves (think this is the one which grates the most on people because I don't think that 'boys will be boys' is ever an excuse). When younger he was the only one who enjoyed shopping. Dd2 is more likely to do sport with dh. Ds was the earliest to learn to read and more keen on academic work for fun. Oh and to cap it all at nearly 7 he still sometimes plays with dolls at home but the girls gave up in preschool.

He still very firmly identifies as a boy (and he and his sister enjoy watching star wars, action movies etc) but he doesn't let his gender define him. Just enjoy your baby whatever gender stereotypes society imposes on them.

Planetmuff · 23/09/2016 06:39

People say stupid stuff all the time.
I had an older DS. When I got pregnant people said 'you must be desperate for a girl?'. When I had DD people said 'well at least you don't need anymore children now'. When I had another DD people said 'don't have another one, you'll probably end up with another girl'.
People say crap all the time, I suspect I've said crap like that.

Gardencentregroupie · 23/09/2016 06:45

I'm expecting DC2, I got "well if you have a girl it'll be nice because your DD will have a sister, and if you have a boy it'll be nice because then you'll be done." I swiftly let them know that I am DONE, whether I give birth to a girl, boy or penguin. Who ARE these people?

Sunflower30 · 23/09/2016 06:53

We are just the same, except im not far enough into my 3rd pregnancy for people to know and comment yet but it is coming. I had it when we found out we were expecting our 2nd boy. Lots of 'are you disappointed' and my dad said 'you're not as good as me and your mum are you?!' They had one of each. It gets on my nerves. I'm ready for it this time though, it genuinely took me by surprise last time. I often wonder if families with all girls have the same comments? Or is it just a boy thing?

MrsJoeyMaynard · 23/09/2016 06:54

It's very annoying when people start with this sort of nonsense.

I have 2 DS's, expecting DC3 now. The sex of the baby is the least of my concerns at the minute. Although top of some people's list of topics it seems. Had a growth scan this week that did not go well. Acquaintance asked how it had gone, so I told them how it had gone and how worried I was about baby - and they said "oh dear. But did they tell you if it was a girl or a boy? I bet you'll be wanting a girl" Like that's what really matters.

oliversax · 23/09/2016 06:55

I am one of 4 girls, our youngest sibling is a boy. Lots of the congratulations cards for DB say 'at last, a boy' and similar comments, as though it was a shame we had to get through all those girls to get there. Comments like that used to upset my Mum and she was worried how it would affect youngest sister, as though her being a girl was a disappointment. We were all very much wanted, girl or boy.

BabyGanoush · 23/09/2016 06:57

My boss always feels deeply sorry for me not having a daughter.

He tries to get me to confess I am sad about this.

I am not, love and adore my boys and feel very lucky.

Alwsys think it says more about him than about me (he likes his son, but absolutely worships his DD)

It is them OP, not you.

People who make these comments are "projecting"

VioletBam · 23/09/2016 07:00

As the Mother of 2 girls, I've never once had anyone say "Aw....never mind...maybe it will be a boy next time"

Isn't that weird? People are odd about having lots of boys which is stupid as whatever they are, your children are your children and you love them!

haveacupoftea · 23/09/2016 07:06

You should just say I know aren't I the luckiest person EVER and beam at them

DixieNormas · 23/09/2016 07:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elllicam · 23/09/2016 07:17

I have had this a lot too, I have two boys and expecting my third baby (we aren't finding out what it is). I will be happy either way.

missyB1 · 23/09/2016 07:29

VioletBam it's because somehow having all girls is seen as more acceptable than having all boys! Don't ask me why, it makes me seethe

excitedas · 23/09/2016 13:47

I have four girls and expecting number five, I decided to put a pound on a jar every time someone says 'ooh hoping for a boy', etc etc, I'm up to twenty six pounds and I'm only 17 weeks...
We've had so many health problems we are just over the moon to be expecting a healthy baby, drives me mad people saying it all the time! Why is one type better than the other anyway?!?!

LondonGirl83 · 23/09/2016 14:56

BabyGanoush I agree its projecting. Violet- I think people only comment if you have two girls and you are going for a 3rd (which was the case for my cousin).

I think a lot of people do have a gender preference though which is why people say things like that. My neighbour told me he always wanted three girls (he had a boy and a girl and his wife said no more because of tough 2nd birth). One of my best friends wanted a girl, but got over it pretty quickly when she found out she was having a boy. My DH confessed he also was hoping for a little girl but only slightly- we are having a girl.

I think its pretty rare actually to be genuinely 100% indifferent. I am. I really didn't have a preference as I see pros and cons to both! I also don't care what sex our next child is if we are lucky enough to have two babies. But I definitely think I'm in the minority based on my friends and family.

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