Wow thanks for all your replies!
emsyj I'd love to swap to be honest but mainly because she's a pain in the arse who talks for too long (about herself) meaning that her appointments massively overrun. She's completely unrepentant about it saying work have to give you the time off, which is true, but my work load doesn't reduce while she's gassing on about her latest holiday. She's the only midwife attached to my GP practice so I think I'm stuck with her. Annoyingly her clinic day is on my only non working day so I expect to be spending a lot of time in the surgery waiting room trying to amuse a bored toddler. I also recall that she had told one of my friends that had also had HELLP syndrome that I hadn't had it at all, er, it was a consultant who had access to all the test results who diagnosed it, not me and what about patient confidentiality?! I never complained because I think she's just a bit full of herself/shit.
I can live with pushy, as I'm no push over myself. Professionally I am used to analysing evidence and making reasoned decisions so I'm almost embarrassed and a bit surprised that I have a fairly strong gut feeling. sycamore I might be able to come up with a reasoned balance of risks in support of what I want but I can honestly say I don't know much about it. I think it's probably fear of the unknown.
abbeyRoad thanks for the link, I'll try and have a read before I see midwife tonight. FaFoutis if that's the risk then I'd make the same choice as you I think.
emsyj and sonlypuppyfat unlike you I think I was lucky in that although the first couple of days were terrible, I recovered pretty well from the CS. I suppose there's no guarantee that a second would go so smoothly. I don't blame you for not wanting to repeat such an awful experience.
mummyandwife85 and flourishingMrs glad I'm not alone in feeling like this. dontyoulovecalpol no reason at all I suppose, thanks.
turquoiseDress thanks for your reassurance. I'm sorry you lost your pregnancy, thank you for sharing your experience
I assume I'll have to be consultant led because of my history so perhaps I leave the real discussions until I see them.
Thank you all, hope I haven't missed anyone out.