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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Will they take away my baby?? Urgent help needed :(

54 replies

scaredandworriedneedhelp · 19/06/2016 20:39

I have had help with MH matters in the past. PND, mild depression which I have had medication for for several years, and I have tried to commit suicide before. I also have been diagnosed with Aspergers.

I to,d my midwife recently that I felt my depression was returning a but worse than before, and I asked about getting help. But someone told me today that now my baby will be taken away from me. I'm now terrified to go to the Dr or midwife again, and don't even want to answer the door.

Can they take my baby away? If so, why? I can't stop crying.

OP posts:
elephantoverthehill · 19/06/2016 20:44

Who told you your baby would be taken away? What a cruel thing to say. You are seeking help and are noticing the signs. All agencies will do everything to support you. Please do keep seeing the midwife and your GP. Flowers

Original poster
scaredandworriedneedhelp · 19/06/2016 20:47

A 'friend' said it would happen. I have looked online, though, and there are some frightening articles.

OP posts:
MusicMum18 · 19/06/2016 20:48

Who told you they were going to take your baby away?

I'm so sorry to hear you're suffering from depression. I suffered when my Dd was first born. It's horrible and I felt like I was sinking and couldn't get out!

I think you should go and see you doctor. They won't take your baby away from you as your baby needs you. Your doctor might prescribe antidepressants which will help. Lots of women suffer from pnd so you're not on your own.

Have you had much sleep, I felt this was a huge factor and contributed to my depression.

Sending you lots of hugs and flowers xxx

thefamilyvonstrop · 19/06/2016 20:48

Please dont panic, you have done the right thing in seeking help. Social services will always look to put your child's best interest first and their priority is keeping families together.
Do you have a social worker / social services involvement previously? Please do keep talking to your midwife - you need support and they will be able to give you access to that.

starsandstripes2016 · 19/06/2016 20:48

Has a professional told you this? So unlikely that you'll be separated from your baby. All procedures work to ensure families stay together even in the most complex of situations. Worse case scenario is that you'll both together be offered supported living if you need emergency help and if you need an extended assessment. Is your baby's father on the scene? Please be brave enough to seek help.

starsandstripes2016 · 19/06/2016 20:49

Good down to earth advice here.

elephantoverthehill · 19/06/2016 20:51

Sorry to ask a blunt question and I don't mean to sound in anyway cruel, if you have suffered PND in the past is the DC with you?

Andbabymakesthree · 19/06/2016 20:52

No but you need to engage with services. Please do and get the support needed.

MusicMum18 · 19/06/2016 20:52

Also try not to look online. There are frightening stories and it sounds like they are making you feel worse!

You will feel better but staying in and being frightened won't help.

Seek help from your doctor and midwife, they won't take your baby away and they will help you.

Dovetale · 19/06/2016 20:55

Please don't listen to the person who told you that they will take your baby away.

I have a history of anxiety, moderate depression, PND after my last pregnancy and suicidal thoughts. I am pregnant with my second and what the midwife did was refer me to the Obstetric Consultant who offered me access to the antenatal psychiatrist and told me that they would support me in taking medication to control any symptoms.

Remember 1 in 4 of us have mental health issues, they are not going to take your baby away. Keep engaging with your midwife and GP.

Original poster
scaredandworriedneedhelp · 19/06/2016 20:55

Previous DC is an adult now at Uni.

I am married to baby's father, and due in Oct/Nov.

OP posts:
lougle · 19/06/2016 20:57

Nobody is going to take your baby away because you've asked for help. The only reason they would take your baby away is if you needed help to the extent that it put your baby in danger and you wouldn't accept the help you needed.

The fact that you told your midwife that you have been struggling is brilliant because it shows that you are willing to have help when you need it.

Please don't listen to your (well meaning) friend. Do tell your midwife your worries so that she can reassure you.

Original poster
scaredandworriedneedhelp · 19/06/2016 20:57

I wanted to engage with ppl but now I'm too scared to...if I say anything it'll be used as 'evidence'.

To not dripfeed: I was previously taken to hospital w/o my consent and was 'assessed' and discharged the same day.

OP posts:
unlimiteddilutingjuice · 19/06/2016 20:58

Oh dear scared- I don't think those online articles are very accurate.
There is some more reliable information here: and here.
To be honest, you are unlikely to need it though- as the GP will not make a referral to Social Services just because you have asked for help.
The best thing you can do is keep seeing your doctor and health visitor as normal and accept any help they can give you.
Big hugs- I hope you feel better soon Flowers Chocolate

Flisspaps · 19/06/2016 20:58

Your 'friend' is a dick.

Well done for asking for help, please don't be afraid that your baby will be removed Flowers

elephantoverthehill · 19/06/2016 21:02

OP I think that your reply to my rather blunt question says it all. You may have had MH issues in the past and you may have some currently but you have raised a DC very successfully and they have gone to Uni. Who could question that? Smile

Original poster
scaredandworriedneedhelp · 19/06/2016 21:04

Thank you all. I am honestly so upset by this. Terrified that autism and MH issues means I will be viewed as an 'unfit mother'.

Does my GP have to make a referral for the baby to be taken away? I like my GP and always thought he was really understanding and trustworthy.

OP posts:
Muddlewitch · 19/06/2016 21:08

No, they won't please don't listen to this 'friend' that is a cruel thing for them to say.

I had quite serious MH issues when I was younger and then went on to have PND with two of my four children. No one has ever even suggested the possibility of taking them away. The professionals will want to help you, I had extra health visitor appointments due to my history but that was to check on how I was doing and whether I needed extra support not to check on whether or not I was caring for my children as they could see that I was, it was genuinely never questioned.

I also now work in MH, and have met literally hundreds of people with MH conditions who have children. I have only met a very tiny number with children who had been removed and they were very very complex cases, many of which involved other issues alongside the persons mental health and all of which involved a long history of the people involved being offered lots of support and refusing to accept or engage with any of it or acknowledge the issue. You have done exactly the right thing in noticing the signs and asking for help, it won't be used against you it is a positive thing.

Lostmyemailaddress · 19/06/2016 21:08

I've had pnd and I have mental health issues including feeling suicidal. I have also had ss involvement a few years ago due to issues with 1 of my older dcs. I honestly don't understand how scared you must be feeling now I was worried during my pregnancy after ss involvement as my midwife contacted my old ss to tell her I was pregnant again which I was told was protocol. I was terrified it meant that I was going to have all my kids taken as I had to go back on my medication due to antenatal depression. I spoke to the social worker twice during my pregnancy and the most she did was check I had the right supporto I needed at the time. My calls were due to previous support I had had.

If you have depression during pregnancy in my area (nw) they assign a midwife who specialises in mh and I had a few extra hospital appointments to see her just to assess my medication and a chat to make sure I had enough support. Please talk to your midwife they are there to help with these sorts of things.

Gardencentregroupie · 19/06/2016 21:09

Your baby won't be take away. They only remove babies from mothers in cases of extreme abuse/neglect & absolutely not because a mother has sought help for (not uncommon) health issues. Please please continue to engage and seek support.

SolomanDaisy · 19/06/2016 21:09

A relative of mine has had severe mental health issues, which included threatening to kill both herself and her child. She was given support and there was never a suggestion that her child would be removed. Social services look to help you, not take your child away.

Muddlewitch · 19/06/2016 21:11

Meant to say a significant number of those people I have worked with have also had an ASD diagnosis, having dual MH and ASD diagnoses is much more common than people think.

amarmai · 19/06/2016 21:19

The person who said that to you is NOT a friend. SPeak to your GP and SS and get the help you need. YOur posting shows clearly that you are a caring mother . PLease try to stay away from the person who tried to upset you.

Original poster
scaredandworriedneedhelp · 19/06/2016 21:21

SS have not become involved thus far - should I contact them?

OP posts:
Inyournightdress · 19/06/2016 21:23

If (and it's a big if) a referral is made to ss it'll be just so you can get help . Don't worry. Whoever said this to you is wrong and cruel.

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