Please help calm an upset mum-to-be :(

[OrchidLilly14]

Hello everyone,

I'm really hoping you can help an upset, anxious mum-to-be?!

I'm three weeks from my due date and I am feeling very apprehensive about the arrival of my baby. I'm not nervous about her being here or about looking after her, but after 8 months of being made to feel like a complete failure, I'm absolutely terrified that I'm going to be a rubbish Mum.

Unfortunatley, I've not had a very good pregnancy and, even though I've dreamt of being pregnant for years, I feel like I've had the joy of this experience completely robbed from me. Over the last couple of weeks I was finally getting excited about things and was feeling more confident about my pregnancy. Maternity leave was about to begin and I was excited about nesting and dreaming about my little ones arrival. I was starting to feel really positive about things. However, I've recently experienced two pretty aweful meetings with a local Midwife and future Health Visitor and, to top this off, a few family members have proceeded to, once again, make me feel like the plans and decisions I've been trying to make about the raising of my baby, aren't good enough.

I honestly feel like, once my little one is here, I'm going to be shoved out of the picture and made to do things that I don't want too.

I just want to be a Mum to my beautiful girl so badly .... I want to give her the best that I can but I feel that, in doing what I believe is right for her, that I am going to become the 'she devil' with people around me. I don't want to ruin her childhood or cause unwanted stress between family members and me. I just want to raise a healthy, happy baby!!

Has anyone else been in this situation/experienced anything like this before? Do I have any right to stand my ground with with family members and health care professionals, or should I just back down to kep the peace?

Can anyone help?

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post. I really appreciate it :)
OrchardLilly14

Are you planning on exclusively expressing? I only lasted 3 weeks doing this as DC would drink from me then I had to go back onto medication
I would recommend doing part expressing and part breastfeeding but only when your milk has come in properly. You need to ideally express for 20mins on each side which add to a lot of faffing around feeding time but is very doable if you want to do it!

As far as home birth is concerned, if that's what you and your DP want then that's what you should do. im glad they have given you the 'worst case' though as you do have to be aware on these things!

Don't let yourself be pushed aside. This is your child and you are the best person equipt with raising her. You have been doing a fab job so far.
You need to put DC first. You need to fight for what's right for you, your DP and your DD. If you don't do it then no one will!

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy

I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has taken the time to respond to me .... I was in an absolute mess when I reached out and posted last night and I felt like giving in!! But in one way or another you have all calmed my nerves and have made me feel like I can do this and that my partner and i well within our rights to be the ones who are doing what we believe is best for our LO.

Ive got to admit ... I am pretty terrified of standing my ground around family members...especially as I have already seen what happens when people have done this in the past! But all I can do is try and in being as pleasant as possible I hope I can prove that I am trying to do what is best for our precious gift!

You have all given me some great hints, tips and phrases and I'm so grateful for your time and your advice. Thank you so very much :)