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Original poster

I am absolutely duistraught

36 replies

distraught · 12/01/2007 12:02

I have just done a test and its positive. My husband is away and I am just beside myself. I cant stop shaking

I have drank heavily all over christmas. I cant believe this

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NDPWillSpendLessTimeHereIn2007 · 12/01/2007 12:03

Why are you distraught ?

Is this an unwanted pregnancy or are you worried about the effect drinking will have had on the foetus ?

Original poster
distraught · 12/01/2007 12:04

both

OP posts:
PinkTulips · 12/01/2007 12:04

don't panic! most of us drank heavily at least once at the beginning of a pregnancy, it's not that bad.

how far along are you? are you distraught about being pregnant or just the drinking?

Waswondering · 12/01/2007 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinkTulips · 12/01/2007 12:06

why is the pregancy inwanted if you don't mind me asking? money issues or were you finished with having kids?

PinkTulips · 12/01/2007 12:06

why is the pregancy inwanted if you don't mind me asking? money issues or were you finished with having kids?

NDPWillSpendLessTimeHereIn2007 · 12/01/2007 12:06

If it the drinking thing then please do not worry. There are many people on here who also drank heavily in the early days of pg without being aware that they were pg and they now have completely healthy children.

FAS (foetal alcohol syndrome) is not all that common. You have to be drinking VERY heavily over a long period of the pg to put your baby at risk.

Flossam · 12/01/2007 12:07

I drank heavily over xmas too. I decided to trust my body as it has done a pretty good job of telling me when not to drink in the past. I got sloshed a week before I found out but then didn't really fancy drinking after that. I am reasoning with myself that the untill the baby becomes connected to you via placenta, it can't do all that much harm? Not sure of the biology - but it made me feel better. I found out last week - how far along do you think you are? I really wouldn't worry, lots and lots of women are faced with this. Even if you are TTC as I was you can't live your entire life for months on end just in case you are pregnant. What do you think your DH will think?

NDPWillSpendLessTimeHereIn2007 · 12/01/2007 12:07

oh distraught

I'm sorry.

MissGolightly · 12/01/2007 12:09

Poor you - try not to worry too much about the drinking, ok it's not ideal but my DS was unplanned and I had several extremely merry nights out before I found out.

Also don't forget some of those units may have been before the egg implanted.

Hugs.

Original poster
distraught · 12/01/2007 12:09

I dont know, I cant stop shaking or crying. It really isnt planned at all. I have only had sex with him about 3 times in the last month and tbh it usually take me forever to get pregnant. I dont even know when my last period was

I dont think I can cope with a termination either

God I feel so sick

I even drank last night for heavens sake. I am so stupid

OP posts:
Cappuccino · 12/01/2007 12:11

stop worrying about the alcohol, really, we've all done it

I found out I was pg with dd1 at 7 weeks; I'd been 'saying a fond goodbye to alcohol' with a good month before trying to conceive seriously

just concentrate on the future

Flossam · 12/01/2007 12:12

You aren't stupid. At all. When will your DH be back? How many DC do you have? You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I hope you can come to a decision you are comfortable, and please, please don't worry about the drinking.

Judy1234 · 12/01/2007 12:12

Don't worry about the drink. Do tell him about the pregnancy so you can decide together what to do. Do you have children already?

Freudianslip · 12/01/2007 12:12

Try not to panic. Give yourself time to get used to the idea. I am sure you will feel better.
Don't worry about the drinking, loads of people have accidently done it ( me included).

MegaLegs · 12/01/2007 12:13

I found out I was pg with ds1 at beginning of Jan 1999. I'd drunk loads over Christmas and New Year and I was a heavy smoker. He was fine and continues to be a happy and healthy 7 year old

Original poster
distraught · 12/01/2007 12:14

Hopefully he will be back later. I have texted him, how classy. I have two children. I am scared though. I am now paranoid people will be trying to guess who I am aswell. I shouldnt have started this thread. I just needed someone to talk to

OP posts:
pooka · 12/01/2007 12:18

Please don't worry about the drinking. I also drank whilst trying to conceive, so I kenw in a way that I might be drinking when pregnant. I also, with both pregnancies, had the occasional glass of wine throughout. I know that advice now is not to consume any alcohol while pregnant, but imagine how many women in the country get pregnant accidentally and who would be in exactly the same position as you. Loads.

WRT the pregnancy being unplanned, you need to sit down and have a talk with your dh. It isn't the end of the world.It happens. If you do not feel that you can go through with a termination, then my advice would be "don't". But you never know - your dh might not react negatively to the news.

RedKennedy · 12/01/2007 12:19

Hello
Im sorry to hear that you are so upset, and I can only tell you my experience of the drinking not your other worry, but please dont worry about the drinking part. Im 22 weeks and for the first 10 weeks (b4 I had found out) I had drunk to excess every single day. It was the end of August and summer didnt want to end and I consumed probably a bottle of wine a day on my own whilst out socialising.. that plus all manner of other poisons that I shant go into.
But needless to say I was SICK with worry and guilt and worry and utter guilt, which was all consuming. But it got to the point where I decided I just cant worry anymore, its making me miserable and its not good for the baby. So on that note please dont make yourself ill.
Good luck to you my dear,
Big hugs xx

Freudianslip · 12/01/2007 12:19

Everytime I have had a positive pg test, I have paniced and felt terrible, even when I had been ttc. I think it is the shock of knowing things are going to change. You will get used to the idea. Even in a few hours I am sure you will feel better and calmer.

Freudianslip · 12/01/2007 12:22

Should have said 'you will get used to the idea IF that is what you want'

Original poster
distraught · 12/01/2007 12:42

thank you everyone for talking to me

I still havent stopped shaking and dh still hasnt rang me back!

OP posts:
Paddlechick666 · 12/01/2007 12:45

5 days before i found out i was pg with my dd i had my hen night. it was a wild affair and i smoked heaps too.

a few days before that i had a frozen shoulder and was given some very strong painkillers.

i had a couple of glasses of champagne at the wedding and a couple of smokes but within the week i had stopped.

anyway, the upshot is a beautiful, healthy 14 month old bundle of trouble!

my gp and midwives all assured me there was very little chance of complications as i didn't drink heavily or smoke thru the rest of the pg.

good luck, hope things work out okay for you all.

Nip · 12/01/2007 13:06

Distraught - PLEASE dont worry about the drinking, i went on a very boozy holiday, ate all the wrong things, went on some stupid ride that throws you in the air.. got home and found i was pregnant!

I think it's just one of those things that many people have done.

I hope everything works out for you.
x

madmarchhare · 12/01/2007 13:11

OK, so everyone has covered the drinking side of things for you, and I agree, no worries there.

What you now need to look at is the fact that you are pg and may or may not want this baby.

Did you and DH ever want more children?

Is it completely inreasonable to think you may have another baby?

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