Can I have a rant about people who don't give up their seat on pulic transport?

[BlueberryPancake]

I'm so cross I could explode. I live in London and have a short journey on the underground everyday and I am fed up with people looking streight at my belly, and not offering me their seat. grrrrrr. This morning I had a real row with some young bloke who could clearly (clearly) see that I was pregnant - he kept on looking at my belly and I have a very big one but I'm still quite slim, so there's no excuse. Someone at the other end of the carriage offered me a seat but it was so packed that I couldn't get there, and that stupid little man never offered me a seat. I litteraly had a fit when he started laughing because I couldn't get to the available seat, and he called me a 'stupid bitch' in front of everyone and nobody (NOBODY) said anything, there was even a girl standing next to me who was laughing! I could have strangled her I sware. WHy are people so selfish?

Aah kinki that's lovely.

Fair restores your faith.

what a sweet boy kinki. That really made me laugh and brought a tear to my eye.

I rarely got a seat on the tube when pregnant. Even though I sighed and loomed over people in the priority seats. I remember the crap Metro paper having an ongoing discussion about it in the letters section and the extreme misogyny of the writers amazed me as women they had no right to be pregnant and travelling, even though one of my main trips was to the maternity hospital.

On buses though I hate it when people don't sit down, block the aisles and you can't get thought to seats (sometimes they stand in the buggy area too) and the bus driver thinks the bus is full even though is half empty and zooms past people waiting at a stop.

People can be awful. I used to do the glasgow edinburgh train commute and when heavily pregnant with dd1 had to stand in a v packed train - someone eventually offerd me their space - in the luggage rack!!! - and I was so hot bothered faint and exhausted i took it!

I had to travel in London in the rush hour every day when pregnant and always asked for a seat as soon as I got on. I was perfectly happy to wave my hand in front of people's faces to get their attention if they pretended not to hear me. No one ever refused and I usually felt I needed one to protect myself from being shoved rather than because I was unable to stand. Mind you, it helped being 6 foot tall to start with. People probably wouldn't have argued even if I wasn't pregnant.
I personally get frustrated when people don't ask for seats when they need them. I do get engrossed in books or work when travelling and wouldn't necessarily notice if someone pregnant had got on but would be perfectly happy to stand if asked.
And I hate hate hate it when parents don't make their children stand up for adults. Glad it's not just me.

I didn't look pregnant for ages, but had very low blood pressure, really bad morning sickness, and was prone to fainting. I just had to stand there sweating a lot, and trying to stick out my stomach or touching it a lot. That worked once. The man apologised for not standing earlier. I sort of passed out for a few seconds a lot, just got that lights in front of eyes can't see thing, rather than falling down. When I wasn't pregnant, I had no idea that pregnant women found standing so hard, I thought it was just a weight thing, had no idea about the other pregnancy problems, so would always offer now. I always would have before, but would have been more cautious about offending plump women. Now I'd make sure to really look. I think people aren't usually cruel or heartless, they just don't look. Original post excepted, what a prick.

Better 10 pregnant women stand than one fat woman cry

Sorry, only joking. When I was pregnant with ds2, I once bellowed as I was leaving aa train

"I hope you have twins, you selfish morons!"

I was 41 weeks pregnant and the only person standing. I had to stand for the entire journey and when I got off the train I had to lie on a bench while dp called me a taxi - usually an unthinkable luxery in our house!

mb that is terrible .

kinki, that's sweet, reminds me of when dh's mobile was stolen and we had to go and report it at the police station. There was a tiny waiting room, all the seats were taken but this very dodgy looking teenager - trousers half-way down bum type - offered me his seat and I was very impressed with him and I was also reminded not to judge people by appearances.

I always ask floppy haired youfs to hold doors nd stuff for me. The more 'unusual' they look, the nicer they usully are, IME

I agree, definately younger people are more helpful in my experience. Also, if someone holds a door open for me and the buggy, more often than not it's a youngster.

You get a lot of selfish gits, but there are some nice people out there. And not always who you'd expect.

"Better 10 pregnant women stand than one fat woman cry "

Hm, but how about ten fat women crying and one pregnant woman standing? And, you know, really, how many women are pregnant compared to how many women are fat? Not counting those women who have been pregnant and are now fat, which may be the worst insult of all. I have mathematically calculated, basing it on reliable estimates and a focus group of one, the overall dehappiness of standing while pregnant v being told you're fat enough to be pregnant while not pregnant by a complete stranger, and have decided the mental trauma of the latter is worse.

I never did it at the time, but now I'm thinking, maybe pregnant women should ask for a seat. Kudos to the knocked up who do.

And yes, I have factored in a happiness adjustment for the fat woman at least getting to sit down.

Bet your ironing is piling up though, Macneil, LOL

When I was 33 weeks pregnant with DD2, DS had an appointment at GOSH and I started to go into labour. There I was, huffing and puffing through contractions, holding onto DS' wheelchair. Not one person offered a seat, DH had to ask someone to give up their seat.

Oh Kinki, what a lovely story.

I agree - I have always found young people the most helpful. And also sometimes the really elderly.

I had a teenager in school uniform sitting smoking at a bus stop not only offer me her seat but also put her cigarette out and apologise. I was so touched I was on the verge of writing to her headmaster to commend her good manners but then I realised that might not be such a good idea, duh!

My goodness, it never occured to me to not ask for a seat when I was pregnant. Someone always stood up - I just assumed they were too preoccupied to notice till I drew their attention to me! I also ask people now to help me get the pram down stairs. No one ever refused.

boobedoo - i live in brixton! whereabouts are you?

dreadful comment btw. which park was this?

Hi bossykate: it was Brockwell Park (I'm in Herne Hill).

Have you ever experienced anything like this? I haven't for a while, but it's certainly not the first time. Maybe I've just got the sort of face that winds people up.

I never asked for a seat when pregnant and I was never offered one.

To be honest I was very small when pregnant and didn't suffer too badly from anything so wasn't bothered. Also usually only had to stand on short journeys.

I had this great big bulky coat on most of the time too so people couldn't really tell.

I think you should offer to a heavily pregnant woman or a woman with a child or elderly, disabled etc.

I have been offered seats a number of times when I have come on with a toddler.

Some people are absolute arseholes unfortunately. Kinki - great story and colditz you sound like me, I shall save that for another time, another pregnancy, if I have one!

But, can I just ask, what is this rule that a child must offer an adult a seat?? Are we talking about elderly people etc or are adults in some way more deserving of seats?!

misdee I'm sorry you've taken offence at my "obviously disabled" comment but I can't see why. Nobody- pregnant or not- is going to ask somebody blind/ with crutches etc (ie with an obvious visible disability) to give up a seat. I then went on to say that somebody could appear perfectly healthy but be unable to stand. (ie a hidden disability)

Littlesarah, if a child is small enough it can sit on its parents lap. If it is too big for lap sitting it is probably capable of standing in front of the parent on the bus.

As I said, I have found since hitting 40 that I am not physically capable of standing anymore. I'm quite amazed- I always thought I was fit- but it is a fact that older people can't always manage to stand. So why should a person in their 40s or 50s stand when there are young people/ children sitting who are perfectly capable of standing? I always made my children stand when there were adults needing seats, but other parents don't seem to do so. It is a particular bugbear of mine.

It is heartening to read in other posts about teenagers getting up for people.

hi boobedoo

i've never had an experience such as that in brockwell park - thank goodness - sounds awful.

Thanks evenhope! I shall bear that in mind when dd is big enough to stand on her own!