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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Can I have a rant about people who don't give up their seat on pulic transport?

73 replies

BlueberryPancake · 11/01/2007 13:12

I'm so cross I could explode. I live in London and have a short journey on the underground everyday and I am fed up with people looking streight at my belly, and not offering me their seat. grrrrrr. This morning I had a real row with some young bloke who could clearly (clearly) see that I was pregnant - he kept on looking at my belly and I have a very big one but I'm still quite slim, so there's no excuse. Someone at the other end of the carriage offered me a seat but it was so packed that I couldn't get there, and that stupid little man never offered me a seat. I litteraly had a fit when he started laughing because I couldn't get to the available seat, and he called me a 'stupid bitch' in front of everyone and nobody (NOBODY) said anything, there was even a girl standing next to me who was laughing! I could have strangled her I sware. WHy are people so selfish?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

glitterkitty · 11/01/2007 14:36

Great idea- if theres anything I can do to help just say!

Oh, I heard there was a london transport badge you can get that says 'baby on board stand up' or something, but I have never seen one. And tbh, if they can ignore a bump, they can ignore a badge!

Original poster

BlueberryPancake · 11/01/2007 14:48

I have that badge! But I have refused to wear it so far - now I think I will wear it tomorrow !!!

OP posts:

glitterkitty · 11/01/2007 14:49

Where did you get it?! I thought they were an urban legend....

3rdTriMossTer · 11/01/2007 14:49

Booboo

What did you say to him?

Nothing at all like that, but just before Christmas some girls were messing around with the escalators at the train station and stopped the one that was going up so I had to walk up it.

I said, "oh thanks an effing million, would you like to walk in this condition?"

One of them told me "eff off you fat b*tch" and the others laughed.

I'm afraid I saw red and ended up having a stand-up row with them, some passers by saw it and told them to leave me alone in no uncertain terms!

USAUKMum · 11/01/2007 14:52

in really desparate times I had been known to say "oh I'm think I'm going to faint, can you just pull that emergency lever for me." and usually got a seat instead.

Booboobedoo · 11/01/2007 14:55

No point engaging with them Mossy. I was upset, but that's what they wanted, so I was determined not to show it.

Lots of the kids 'round here are like that.

Think we'll soon give up our 'urban melting-pot' dream and move to the 'burbs .

(That's not a racial slur btw - kids were white).

Socci · 11/01/2007 14:55

Message withdrawn

ShowOfHands · 11/01/2007 14:55

Booboobedoo I'm so

What a terrible, crude thing to say.

Booboobedoo · 11/01/2007 14:57

Tip for anyone who receives this kind of treatment from a young woman:

Make your eyes go all squinty and say in an old crone voice [hisses] 'I cuuuurrrrses you. I cuuurrrses you with triplets'.

Then waddle away, muttering alarmingly to yourself.

3rdTriMossTer · 11/01/2007 15:02

Booboo, you are right, I shouldn't engage with people like that either but I have a short fuse sometimes!

Yes leave the big smoke, come and live up here, you can have chips & gravy for tea round my house!!

Original poster

BlueberryPancake · 11/01/2007 15:06

Booboo that's terrible!

Yes about the 'baby on board' badge, when I was pregnant first time around (18 months ago ish) someone at Liverpool station ticket office gave it to me. I idn't have to use it during first pregnancy because:

I was truly ginormous and people thought I'd drop there and then
it was summer time and I was wearing nice dresses and skirts and it was very obvious I was up the duff
it was the summer of the London Bombing so I think people were a bit more considerate/observant
it was a very very hot summer and people were probably scared I would faint!

OP posts:

Booboobedoo · 11/01/2007 15:07

Me too Moss. Unfortunately, I've learned the hard way.

Been mobbed on a bus locally for trying to stand up for myself when a whopping great teenager kept sitting on me.

I don't think being pregnant would stop some of the local kids hurting me if I 'disrespected' them.

(Bearing in mind I live near the McDonalds where the 2 boys got shot at 5:30 in the afternoon for pushing in to the queue).

Chips and gravy sounds lovely! I shall wear my flat cap.

Apologies for hijack...

shonaspurtle · 11/01/2007 15:19

I was lucky to be really well during my pregnancy (and also live really close so walk to work) so didn't need a seat most times I was on public transport.

However, I was so when I got loudly tutted at by some woman when I had the nerve to be standing on the packed bus with my huge belly (2 days from due date) and didn't move out of the way quickly enough for her liking. She shoved me against a pole really hard which bloody hurt!

Would have served her right if my waters had broken all over her shoes...

So, you can't win. We're obviously meant to stay indoors out of normal people's way.

Creena · 11/01/2007 15:56

Oh my God. Reading about everyone's experiences on this thread has made me so cross! My face really does look like this right now =

I had a long commute when pregnant with DS involving a bus and a train ride. I often had to stand up, even right near the end when I had only weeks left to go. Add to this the fact that it was a really hot summer and I was absolutely massive. I can only recall being offered a seat once. A man very nicely asked me if I would like his seat and stood up to vacate it for me. Before I could say gratefully accept, the tall, slim blonde girl stood next to me said "Oh, thanks!" and tried to take the seat. She was obviously used to be offered seats by men all the time and immediately assumed that he had been talking to her. The man then hastily explained "Oh sorry, I'm not offering you this seat - I'm offering it to this lady." To say she was annoyed would be putting it mildly - she spent the rest of the journey standing over me, glaring at me, tutting and hitting my side with her handbag as much as she could.

I'm now alomst 21 wks pregnant again but luckily I work mainly from home. I have got quite a bit of travelling lined up over the next couple of months, though and I'm not looking forward to it (including a journey into and through London next week). Gah!

saadia · 11/01/2007 16:09

Sadly these tales do not surprise me. I hated the (tube/bus) journey to work when pg.

saadia · 11/01/2007 16:09

Sadly these tales do not surprise me. I hated the (tube/bus) journey to work when pg.

cinnamontam · 11/01/2007 17:24

I can't believe some of these tales! very very

I travel an hour on the bus into Mayfair and back again every day to get to work. I have no problem telling other people to get up when an obviously older or pregnant person is standing there. I'm 21 weeks and just not big enough for it to be obvious for people to offer me a seat yet but I can tell you I will have no problem asking them to give me a seat if i need it.

People continue to amaze me and not in a nice way. BASTARDS!!

quanglewangle · 11/01/2007 17:35

Seems that things have gone from ridiculously polite to ridiculously rude.

When we lived in Rome I noticed that people gave up their seats to anyone in need. That included me (ripe old age of 29) with lots of heavy shopping, pregnant ladies and young children. Well any children actually. None of your respecting your elders and betters rubbish - children need a safe seat in the crush. This pays off in the end as kids are set a good example.

Blandmum · 11/01/2007 17:45

I was horrified last week when I was in the hospital with DH. We had to go to the hospital pharmacy to pick up some insulin. There were 4 seats and we had a 30 minute wait. I was fine standing, but dh is very ill, looks skeletal and it is obvious to anyone with half a brain that he can't stand and needs to sit.

A father sat, and let his obviously fit and healthy son of around 10 sit. for the 30 mins, while dh tried to stand, swayed and eventually had to sit on the floor!

I was astonished at the father's lack of awareness. had it been me, my dd would have been asked to give up her seat, and then I'd have given up my seat!

KathyMCMLXXII · 11/01/2007 17:48

God, MB

dassie · 11/01/2007 17:49

When I was a kid my parents would always make me stand (or sit on their lap when I was small enough) if there was an adult standing. These days it seems that kids get priority for seats on the tube.

The other day I was getting serious evils from a woman in her forties because she thought I should have given my seat to an elderly man - I stuck my 28 week bump out as far as possible but she still tutted at me when she ot off the train! Oh, and I should add that she sat quite comfortably for her whole journey!

Lorina · 11/01/2007 17:57

Other people are probably so engrossed in their own lives/problems that they dont even notice if you are pregnant.

If you want someones seat just ask them politely if you can have it.

evenhope · 11/01/2007 18:18

Aren't there seats near the doors on the Tube marked Priority Seating, with a picture of an old person on? If there are, I think you are perfectly justified in approaching someone in that seat (assuming they aren't old/ obviously disabled) and asking them to move, pointing out the sign.

I always have difficulty with this whole seat situation otherwise, because even if people appear to be young fit and healthy they may not be capable of standing, and may curb their embarrasment by being rude.

I used to catch a park and ride bus and quite often got glared at by people who obviously thought I should get up for them, but once you are over 40 you aren't always able to stand (and I refuse to do so if there are children or teens taking up seats, which there always were on that bus).

(and I write this hugely pregnant at 30+ weeks by the way )

tenbygirl · 11/01/2007 18:25

Ok, next time this happens - mutter loudly about awful morning sickness. Then stand right infront of the person, facing them and start retching

kinki · 11/01/2007 18:40

I had my 3mth baby in a baby sling once when I got on a packed bus, there was standing room only and no-one offered a seat. After a couple of mins I heard a voice "oi, excuse me lady ...... lady holding the baby ... excuse me ...." Finally realised this lad (prob 12yrs) from the back row of the bus was calling out and waving to me. I could only just see him through all the other standing people. I called out "do you mean me" and he shouted "yeah, you've got a baby, do you want my seat?" The bus went very quiet. I called back "thank you very much, but I won't be able to get past all the people to your seat, but you're a very nice lad for offering." He yelled back "ok, but my mum told me to offer my seat if anyone needed it". Bus was still silent, but a lot of people started shuffling. I replied "When you get back home tell your mum that you were the only person in a bus full of adults who offered a seat to a mum who could have really done with it today. And that I hope my little boy grows up just as lovely as you".

I then had about 6 offers of seats. Thing is I was so embarrassed that I got off the next stop and walked 1.5 miles home.

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