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Original poster

Miscarriage angry at hospital

37 replies

Kirstyvictoria12 · 10/04/2016 16:26

Can't begin to explain how angry I am. So over the course of the last four days I have been in/out of A&E and the emergency gynae ward.. They first took my bloods on the Wednesday told me my levels were fine.. I had pains so I went back again, re tested my levels done a check inside (where the put the clamp thing in) and told me everything was fine.. I started having some bleeding, they told me my levels had dropped a little bit but I should not worry and that I should be fine. I woke up this morning with severe pain and bleeding... I went to A&E where they referred me back to the emergency gynae ward... 3 hours I was waiting for the doctor to tell me to prepare for a miscarriage, she then proceeding to tell me that from the first set of bloods they basically knew I was going to miscarry. .. She 'looked inside agajn' and said to the nurse 'pass me the fourceps' I asked what was going on she said in a blunt tone 'wait I will explain in a minute' she told me she could see the sac and was going to pull it out.. That was it miscarriage over... I am so angry they knew this was happening yet gave me false hope.. She also left me sitting on the bed with no trousers on, for Ten minutes and left the room... I can't even process what's happened because I'm so angry :(

OP posts:
novemberchild · 10/04/2016 17:17

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. It sounds terribly traumatic.

It's completely understandable that you feel shocked and distressed by this treatment. A complaint would be in order, most certainly. Meanwhile, be kind to yourself, take some time off, if you can, to rest and process this horrible experience, and it could help to find some counselling, maybe contact the Miscarriage Association.

Original poster
Kirstyvictoria12 · 10/04/2016 17:36

Yeah my family told me to complain.. I'm just in shock how we've been treated in something so sensitive.

Yeah I'm resting and trying to process it. I'm gonna get a doctors note I am taking the week off work. Yeah I am thinking about contacting them to be honest
Thank you for your reply x

OP posts:
Lilybensmum1 · 10/04/2016 17:43

So sorry to hear about your miscarriage. You were treated badly at the hospital I don't think some medical people apreciate how upsetting and traumatic a miscarriage is, they view it clinically. What an awful experience and I say this as a nurse who has experience in gynae/early pregnancy, this can affect how you come to terms with your loss all of which is unecesary I would complain, hopefully this dr does not treat anyone else like this.

Be kind to yourself as someone who has a miscarriage I know the recovery can be hard, I felt OK for a while and then it really hit me, agree you need time if work.

Inwaiting · 10/04/2016 17:44

I'm so so so sorry for your loss. Most definitely put in a complaint xxx

PortiaCastis · 10/04/2016 17:48

When I had a miscarriage I had a d&c to complete it. Amazed they pulled the sac out with forceps. Sorry for your loss

Original poster
Kirstyvictoria12 · 10/04/2016 18:03

Yeah I know she said she could see it hanging out (disgusting) I'm quite glad I didn't have to pass it naturally but they were awful and rude. I have to take a test on a few weeks long as it's negative it was a complete miscarriage.
Thank you for your comments. I'm definitely going to put in a complaint xx

OP posts:
SockQueen · 10/04/2016 20:20

If the sac is sitting in the cervical opening, then it can caused prolonged bleeding as the cervix can't close properly and the womb can't contract. Removing it with forceps is quite normal, there's no need for a general anaesthetic and a formal surgical management of miscarriage (what they call D&Cs these days) and it will help the bleeding settle sooner.

However, it does sound like they were bad at explaining things to you and not sensitive at such a very difficult time, so I don't think a complaint would be out of order. Sorry for your loss. Flowers

Original poster
Kirstyvictoria12 · 10/04/2016 20:33

Yeah that's where it was, it was easier to remove then wait for me to pass.
Thank you very much, I don't know how people cope with this to be honest, it hasn't sunk in yet, and I'm dreading when it does x

OP posts:
DixieNormas · 10/04/2016 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Kirstyvictoria12 · 10/04/2016 20:52

Exactly I would of much rather them say 'your levels are low, we are going to keep testing them, but be prepared' not telling us I'm okay etc. Gave us such false hope. Thank you for your message x

OP posts:
Jw35 · 10/04/2016 20:58

God what a nightmare! They sound very uncaring and cold Sad I'm so sorry Thanks

andsoimback · 10/04/2016 21:02

Oh you poor thing. No matter how necessary the way it happened isn't right. You should complain so hopefully they think again for another woman.

DixieNormas · 10/04/2016 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Kirstyvictoria12 · 10/04/2016 21:15

Thank you for your kind comments.
I am going to complain, me and my partner are going to write a complaint together, we want to get it done soon but for today, I have had enough.. Going to rest up and try process all this xx

OP posts:
primarynoodle · 12/04/2016 08:11

Oh kirsty thats awful im so sorry for your loss. However medically necessary the procedures were it sounds like there wasnt an ounce of bedside manor or human care provided. I hope you have lots of real life support at home. Take care of yourself xx

JayDot500 · 12/04/2016 10:39

Oh this is so upsetting, I'm sorry for your loss.

I had two early bleeds and the difference in the bedside manner of the two doctors was astounding. I obviously preferred the doctor who told me the facts and never once said everything was fine, instead explained how these things are sometimes beyond our control. She did her best to relax me but not patronise me. The other doctor basically said little, removed 'something' bloody, had a chat about it with another nurse (both looked concerned but said nothing about what they removed to me- my husband felt the most angry about this) then she left me to go to another patient. Thia is exactly how to make a woman feel like she's wasting a doctors time with her silly little bleed (only it was a massive bleed). I had two days of thinking they removed my baby before my scan confirmed he was still in there.

Complain!

Original poster
Kirstyvictoria12 · 13/04/2016 09:43

So my doctor wasn't happy at the care I received and lack of information that gave me at the hospital.. He called them up and asked them to meet with me and give me the full info. So me and my partner went up there yesterday to walk into a room with three woman doctors standing OVER us telling us we shouldn't be worried all they did was right and making us feel we was in the wrong for questioning them.. So angry.. They were staring at me, talking over me, never felt so uncomfortable. :( feel like we've gone through hell and they don't care

Jaydot that is awful :( I can't believe how much disrespect we are shown. Hope you are OK - as can be x

OP posts:
JayDot500 · 16/04/2016 11:44

Angry bullies! Their backs have gone up and their behaviour sort of bullies you into submission. Sorry. It shouldn't be so. But sometimes it's tiring to press on with getting actual answers and an apology, what have you decided to do?

Hope you're feeling more at ease with the whole devastating experience, and wish you the best of fortune for your next one Flowers

Original poster
Kirstyvictoria12 · 30/04/2016 16:04

So I had a miscarriage +3 weeks ago.. Medically assisted and bled for two days then that was it. They told me to do a test in 3 weeks.. I did one this morning - positive.

Went to the hospital were there test said negative.. They took my bloods.

I received a call a little while ago saying my bloods shower positive my hcg level was 186 my progesterone 9.6 her words were 'whatever is there won't last'

The doctor said I have no signs of infection or left over pregnancy.. So was she telling me im going to miscarry again? Are these levels not normal? I have to go back in a week to have another blood test, but I'm really confused and not sure what's going on :/

Sitting at home googling hcg and progesterone levels and I don't understand any help would be appreciated.

Test said 1-2 weeks. As I had a miscarriage I havent had a period so I'm not sure how it works x

OP posts:
HSMMaCM · 30/04/2016 16:54

Is there another hospital nearby you could be referred to. Speak to your GP again.

Original poster
Kirstyvictoria12 · 30/04/2016 17:18

Going to ring my GP Monday. I just have no Idea what to think or what is happening

OP posts:
sulalovesbing · 30/04/2016 17:19

I'm sorry that you've gone through this. However it is hard for the doctors to tell 100% that you are or aren't having a miscarriage sometime, especially as you said that at first your hcg levels seemed OK.

I think from the sounds of it it was handled ok from their end. However I can't imagine how traumatic it is for you. Be kind to yourself.

sulalovesbing · 30/04/2016 17:22

Oh gosh I didn't read your update. Utter nobs. Complain!!!

Original poster
Kirstyvictoria12 · 30/04/2016 17:30

We are in the middle of complaint, now this has happened. We went back to the same hospital today and they were very hostile towards us, which didn't help. We are jut so confused. And how we've been treated before has made us nervous of dealing with them x

OP posts:
kate2244 · 05/05/2016 18:42

I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you 😢. I had a missed miscarriage at scan to weeks ago and was in for d&c last week. At my scan they told me baby had no heartbeat from tummy scan but then they did vaginally scan anyway "to take measurements". This lasted ten minutes before I asked them to stop which they didn't. Said very unsympathetically they needed the measurements. The nurse then wrote in my notes I was angry and un cooperative. I only saw this when my notes were accidentally left next to me when I was in hospital for my op. I understand they have a job to do and are busy but in situations like this a little empathy and understanding are required. I hope that you get an apology. May not make you feel better but it's something. You deserve better treatment and support under the circumstances ❤