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Original poster

Bump touching ahhhhh...

39 replies

cheekstime · 02/02/2016 15:44

My OH family member asked can.. 'I touch it'...then touches it within seconds before I had a chance to say no. How rude is that????....(she has had a baby herself... I don't know what to make of it. I was admitment NOONE was goign to be allowed. v annoyed :(.

What does this say about her...its a boundary violation right!?
I still feel creeped out by it and it was 2 days ago..
get off my BABY!

Any tips for further bump touchers Mumsnetters??

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Highlove · 02/02/2016 15:49

You're right it's rude. And sort of weird in that nobody would dream of touching your tummy if you weren't pregnant. But people don't mean to be rude or weird - they're just excited for you. I'd let it go - it's annoying but in the greater scheme of things...it's not worth getting that wound up about.

FetchezLaVache · 02/02/2016 15:52

Buy seven of these and rotate them on a daily basis.

nehagarg · 02/02/2016 15:53

Wear a T-Shirt?

I feel the same as you. Dont understand why touching my stomach is okay all of a sudden just because I am pregnant. I usually tell people how much I hate bump touchers, conversationally before they have had the chance to ask the question. Usually works and they never ask.

Bump touching ahhhhh...
Original poster
cheekstime · 02/02/2016 15:56

Thanks Highlove... I know what you me she did seem pretty excited but really annoying as I would never dream too.

Bumps seem to send some women nuts don't they. there was also another girl that nearly cried with joy and I barely knew her. The reason why babys used to be kidnapped in the street :/. Just makes me wonder what the hell people are going to be like when its here. I'm adament its not going to be passed round like a toy! Right deep breath :)

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Original poster
cheekstime · 02/02/2016 16:00

great idea with the tshirt FetchezLaVache & nehagarg....I looked at these before....I think I will get one now!!! Good to blend into the convo, how annoying bump touching is!!!

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maybebabybee · 02/02/2016 16:04

I agree it's very irritating but I think you are overreacting a bit to still be bothered by it 2 days later.

Salmiak · 02/02/2016 16:05

Whenever my bump was touched I'd reach across and stroke the other person's stomach. Most people were Hmm when I did this but I'd just calmly raise an eyebrow and wait for the penny to drop... dh found my behaviour fortifying

Salmiak · 02/02/2016 16:06

Not fortifying, Mortifying

bikingintherain · 02/02/2016 16:06

I hate people touching my bump, I've taken to try to preempt it in conversation. I liken it to my 2 year old son coming and stroking their boobs. He's not doing anything wrong as in his mind it's perfectly innocent. But as the person on the other end, being stroked by a two year old would make you feel very uncomfortable.

After that conversation people seem to become a little more hands off.

Original poster
cheekstime · 02/02/2016 16:15

Salmiak I am DEF going to do this! I'm goign to make a promise thank you! x

bikingintherain Hilarious! I might use this. Thank you ! x

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Original poster
cheekstime · 02/02/2016 16:19

Hi maybebabybee , yea also surprised its still annoying me. funny it was the least likest person I thought would do it, given she's a mum, weird

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Wardy1993 · 02/02/2016 16:30

Personally I didn't mind people touching me when I was pregnant, and pretty much everyone politely asked if they wanted to and I was happy to oblige! She probably asked so she didn't seem rude and didn't think you would say no! But she definitely should have waited for a yay or nay. It must have made you feel a bit awkward but don't worry! before you know it baby will be born and then the real fun begins Wink

Original poster
cheekstime · 02/02/2016 17:10

Hi Wardy1993- perhaps it depends on how much you like them ;). Yea I think you're right you know, she didn't expect me to say no! Well people will have to get used to a lot more of that :D. Yea the fact she didn't wait, she mght as well not bothered, couldn't contain her excitment but I don't know her well, so its the baby mania thing - never a fan of that. You sayign you don't mind is interesting, maybe she feels the same that's why she didn't think twice, find that sort of reassuring in a way. Yes my thoughts exactly bout the real fun beginning... I'm going to get real tough :D, thanks! x

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Original poster
cheekstime · 02/02/2016 17:14

It was the boundary thing that pee'd me off. people need to respect other peoples boundaries. Any people that do these things to other people in anyway annoy me! I enjoy empathetic people in my life that consider other people needs.

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Original poster
cheekstime · 02/02/2016 17:15

People that steam over people are from the Ark in my opinion.

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SpecialStains · 02/02/2016 17:40

I asked to touch the bump of one of dhs friends when she was heavily pregnant. She was saying it was kicking, and I asked if I could feel. She let me - I hope I wasn't being rude! I'd never felt a kicking baby before. We'll see how I feel about it as I get bigger.
Your body, your rules! Obviously I don't know how annoying it is, but its sort of nice people are so excited for you!

Original poster
cheekstime · 02/02/2016 17:46

No way thats not rude...she said it was kicking then you asked and no doubt waited for her to say yes.... yea just depends on the situ. she seemed more excited that it was a baby full stop than for me&baby, she was still looking at the scan photo when she did it! maybe thats why also found it annoying!

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Original poster
cheekstime · 02/02/2016 17:49

like she was testing a loaf in the supermarket but with a flat hand! no connection with me, odd

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Original poster
cheekstime · 02/02/2016 17:50

Takes all sorts right! HA

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Amazonmulu · 03/02/2016 17:28

Really glad I'm not the only one who is freaked out by bump touching! I've had MIL (unavoidable) and the bf of an acquaintance just dive in and touch. Now I either carry my bag infront or hold my bump myself so they can't get in there. There is nothing normal about bump touching!!

Original poster
cheekstime · 03/02/2016 17:56

Yea it's awful, real cheek. Feel for you with the MIL (u didn't stand a chance) and acquaintance (helllllo!), it's not right. Nice idea with a bag...I'll start wearing my rucksack on the front! HA...also whilst I'm in their kitchen drinking tea :D. Also love the idea of holding myself whilst they are talking about it, love that idea so much. Thank you v much! Amazonmulu

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Original poster
cheekstime · 03/02/2016 17:58

typo - holding baby myself... doh having a right typo time

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Shirkingfromhome · 03/02/2016 18:21

Developing a resting bitch face! I have one and at 32 wks only my NDN has touched my bump but she was pissed and she loves babies Grin

aimees75 · 03/02/2016 19:21

Cheekstime you are not being all that empathic yourself towards OHs family member. She should have waited for an answer but she was clearly also excited about the baby. Maybe seeing you was making her feel really broody. I would try to put it behind you and forgive her.
It can be far worse once the baby has arrived as everyone wants to hold the newborn just when your the hormones kick in that make you super protective and feeling like you need to look after it/hold it at all times. Personally I found this far harder than bump touching but determined to be a bit more relaxed/generous spirited this time around.

Cnmorgan13 · 03/02/2016 22:10

Empathic my arse. A women's body is not public property. Period.