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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Bump touching ahhhhh...

39 replies

cheekstime · 02/02/2016 15:44

My OH family member asked can.. 'I touch it'...then touches it within seconds before I had a chance to say no. How rude is that????....(she has had a baby herself... I don't know what to make of it. I was admitment NOONE was goign to be allowed. v annoyed :(.

What does this say about her...its a boundary violation right!?
I still feel creeped out by it and it was 2 days ago..
get off my BABY!

Any tips for further bump touchers Mumsnetters??

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aimees75 · 03/02/2016 22:48

I'm not saying it is at all. I agree the relative should have waited for a yes or no. But the OP said she likes empathic people and in my opinion she's not being all that empathic herself. The woman was probably just a bit too keen and excited, and it's probably best to just move on and not dwell on it. There are far worse things that can happen in a pregnancy.

TheGreaterGood · 04/02/2016 10:11

Both my Ils touched my stomach when we told them I was pregnant at 13 weeks - not even a bump to touch, which I found very strange and intrusive! They're in their 80's though so didn't feel I could really slap them complain.

aimees75 · 04/02/2016 10:30

I met a friend of a friend the other day and she was asking me when I was due etc. I am having twins in a week so am huge. She was saying all the usual things that people seem to say oh gosh no sleep for you then, 3 girls hope DH is prepared etc, but accentuated every point with a little poke to the bump. It was quite disconcerting but before I had quite worked out was she was doing it was over! If it had been done in a different context I might have been appalled but she is such a nice person and I think she was not really aware she was doing it

Original poster

cheekstime · 04/02/2016 10:33

Hi Shirkingfromhome - public persona face, i like it :)

Hi aimees75 - I disagree I think it shows lack of empathy if anything on her part and by saying I was making her feel broody also puts it on me umm. Maybe different for yourself as your relationships therefore experience of this may be different, appreciate your comments though. With you after the baby is born though, like another member said thats when the fun starts. All best.

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Original poster

cheekstime · 04/02/2016 10:49

Cnmorgan13 Here here- Great stuff!!! x

TheGreaterGood Blimey yes, theres not really a focal point as such too, always a shock. Yes what can you say at the time I didn't say anything, you feel like you can't if depending on situ. Happens when you least expect it, doesn't give you much head space. Pressure not to ruin the moment as like other members have said, a lot don't mean harm but they are stepping over boundaries. Instinctivly strange, yes. Their needs coming before the needs of the mother. If you are extremely close and its a bonding thing suppose thats different. Having said that though a person like that would ask, wait for an answer or you would invite them x

What does everyone think...I may adjust it to size?

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Original poster

cheekstime · 04/02/2016 10:50

Its a curved fire guard Ha x

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Original poster

cheekstime · 04/02/2016 11:04

Hi aimees75 can appreciate that is was odd but glad it didn't have much of an impact. Personally still hands off! poke your own tummy to make the point :D

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Original poster

cheekstime · 04/02/2016 11:06

Everyone Theres been some wonderful advice, thank you so much for this and sharing your views!!! xxxx

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Cnmorgan13 · 04/02/2016 12:38

Thankfully for me, it's not happened that much, or with people I'm happy to have touch me. The thing with me is, DH has hardly felt baby kick as when I put his hand to my stomach he/she goes still (like its some evil game lol) so I don't want anyone other than him feeling the baby kick

Original poster

cheekstime · 04/02/2016 13:09

Hi Cnmorgan13 totally see that...I found that, it stops soon as :). I don't know if you had this but if kicks when lying down more obvious/stronger. Doesn't seem to go quiet as quick. Maybe its concentrating more on thinking "say what, I was all comfy and had my position, now I've got to sort all this out now....sofa there, cushions there" x

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Wardy1993 · 04/02/2016 16:29

Cheeks how are you getting on?! Managed to deter people from prodding your delicates? More importantly how is the little one inside there?!

Original poster

cheekstime · 04/02/2016 16:39

Hi Wardy1993 loves the fire cage but no opportunity to use it yet...ahh well :)

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Original poster

cheekstime · 04/02/2016 16:42

many thanks to all you lovelies...I'm finally leaving this thread over to you now. byeeeeeee!

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FoxgloveStar · 04/02/2016 23:04

I had a lot of bump bothers but nobody that has persisted beyond my objections. Lots of bump touch threats but I've managed to intervene every time.

"Wooooah" or "eaaaasy" and hands over bump and step back works for me. Or "don't touch me" if it is someone you don't like!

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