Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

did anyone else decide they didn't want another baby as soon as they'd had their first?

43 replies

s098 · 02/02/2016 09:44

My baby is just over 2 weeks and i really think i don't ever want another one. I didnt enjoy being pregnant, giving birth was horrible ( i didn't expect it to be nice but i really wouldn't choose to go through it again!) And now im exhausted.
Did anyone think the same as me then change their minds? Part of me feels guilty that dd will probably be an only child but all i can think about is that i don't want another baby

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SparklyTinselTits · 02/02/2016 09:51

Oh yeah!
I think one of the first things I said when DD popped out was "I am not doing that again!"....but then a few hours later, I realised that my labour and delivery was actually relatively easy and very quick in comparison to a lot of people.
I hated being pregnant with a passion. I had HG all the way through which was horrific. That was the only thing that really put me off about ever being pregnant again...
And yet here I sit. We have recently found out we are expecting DC2 after having my implant removed and not expecting to fall pregnant so fast!

Thurlow · 02/02/2016 09:56

I definitely knew that I wasn't going to do that for a veeeeery long time. The shitty labour and DD in NICU was fine, but the HG? Sod that. I hated being pregnant with an absolute passion.

DD has just turned 4 and we're only now TTC again. And I still don't want another baby: I've just realised that I do, in the (very) long run, quite fancy having another child, which unfortunately means pregnancy and babyhood again.

If you don't want another one, you don't have to have one

I wouldn't tell yourself that it's set in stone because you never know if you will change your mind (everything is still vivid and raw and exhausting at the moment) but there's no law that says you have to have more than one child, so I wouldn't really give it a second thought if you continue to feel the same way.

sepa · 02/02/2016 10:04

I have heard this from many people. They have gone on to have more.
Especially hear the thing about wanting another child but not another baby!

I hate being pregnant. I haven't enjoyed it since the beginning (except the baby kicks). I always wanted 2 children and I said I would have 2 in a short space of time. I haven't ruled out a second one as I desperately want more than one but there will be a 3-4 year age gap that's for sure!

Peppaismyhomegirl · 02/02/2016 10:08

Me! I was adamant. I lived DS but one was it for me. Never again, not a chance.

Currently pregnant after a year of trying. DS is 4

AndSoWeBeatOn · 02/02/2016 10:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wannaBe · 02/02/2016 10:10

There's no right or wrong. My xh used to work with someone who was desperate for a baby. They'd been TTC for years and years, she eventually got pregnant, had the baby and then realised from day1 that actually, she didn't enjoy being a mother at all. . She went back to work when the baby was six weeks old and they never had any more.

shutupandshop · 02/02/2016 10:10

Yes me! i had another 3

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 02/02/2016 10:16

I was the same and I didn't change my mind. DS is now 10 and we are a happy and content family of 3. We can all fit in my Fiat 500 with room for a pal and the shopping and life is sweet

There's no law that says you have to have more children. Having said that though, I think most people think 'never again' for the first few months.

Clueing4looks · 02/02/2016 10:17

I was the complete opposite - after I had dd I wanted to do it all again and started trying 3 weeks later. There's only 15 months between her and my ds. Couldn't afford more but would have gladly continued having them one after another.

Everythinggettingbigger · 02/02/2016 11:12

not straight away but when Ds reached about 8 months and still had me awake for the majority of the night i decided i would nt be doing it again (DS is now 5 and slept through for the first time last night.....to say i am ecstatic would be an understatement ). I was only 21 though and felt i was too young to actually make that decision so i did keep an awful lot of DS things.....good job because i am currently 24 weeks with DS2! it wasnt until DS was coming up to the age of 5 that i felt like i was ready to do it again, but i did sob when i found out i was pregnant as reality hit about sleepless nights! by sleepless nights i mean about an hour of broken sleep (10 mins here 10 mins there) every night......EVERY NIGHT!!!!

But i did love being pregnant and im loving it this time too!

OhShutUpThomas · 02/02/2016 11:23

Yes.

Everyone who ever had a baby EVER.

But the high rate of sibling sets indicates that many change their minds

dizzylemon · 02/02/2016 11:51

I'd decided I only wanted one prior to pregnancy. Having a smooth pregnancy (so far at 30+5) has not changed my mind and I doubt the labour will either.

Completely your right to change your mind at a later date though but it's ok to just want and have one. A lot more practical too imo. Don't have another just because it seems to be the norm. There are plenty of opportunities to socialise your child without siblings.

LaurieLemons · 02/02/2016 12:21

I felt this way, I hated being pregnant had awful symptoms followed by a long, exhausting labour and a baby that screamed 24/7. I thought no way, how do people do this 5 times, why would you do this to yourself more than once?! 7 months on and I miss being pregnant .

Every baby and pregnancy is different and at the end of the day whatever you have to endure it's worth it in the end I think! (I know you don't feel like this now) But plenty of people do only have 1 there are pros and cons to having a big/small family.

Petradreaming · 02/02/2016 12:26

Yes, knew I would only have one. Only had one. She is now 18 years old and has just had a baby herself ( bit of a shock) so now I have a new born, who I adore. Life is a funny old business, isn't it?

Alisvolatpropiis · 02/02/2016 12:33

I said I was only having one whilst still pregnant! Pregnancy was horrible, for me.

I'm slightly less ardent about it now, baby is almost 8 months.

Now I suppose I'm on the fence, a second might be nice. But in all honesty a second hinges on a lot of things, my feelings, my husbands, finances, and if the circumstances are never right then we will have our child and we will be happy as a three.

MNetter15 · 02/02/2016 12:34

I felt like that until age 1-2 years when suddenly you have a little buddy following you around the house and who (mostly) goes to bed at 7.30pm and sleeps all night

dottyaboutstripes · 02/02/2016 12:37

When I took my new baby into the office to show her off I cried on my friend's shoulder and said I'd wanted a big family but couldn't do that again. She just said "we'll see!"
I now have 6!
It's very early days for you op

JeanGenie23 · 02/02/2016 12:41

I always thought I wanted three children.

I have one and she is 13months. By all accounts she is easy, but it's enough!

A friend of mine is pregnant with her second and has a very bouncy 20month old. She is really struggling and I know I wouldn't cope with that.

SueGeneris · 02/02/2016 12:43

I remember feeling sad after DC1's birth as I knew we wouldn't have any more as I could not go through birth again.

Have three now!

I've felt that way after each birth but broodiness has come back around 1-2 years each time and the thoughts like 'pregnancy is only 9 months and birth is only one day out of a whole lifetime'.

ReallyTired · 02/02/2016 12:45

I have a seven year gap between my two. Although being pregnant was hideous both times, the dating for a newborn was a lot easier second time. Although I had more work with two children, I didn't waste mental energy worrying if I was doing the right thing.

I like children between the ages of three and ten. Teens are hard work. Toddlers and babies are hard work.

snorepatrol · 02/02/2016 12:47

Weirdly I had hyperemesis with DS ended up in hospital from being 8 weeks pregnant - 20 weeks pregnant then ended up on crutches because he was so heavy he popped my hip out of place. I had a bit of a tough labour ended up being resuscitated (don't think I'm good a being pregnant ) and I wanted another from the day he was born

I was late having my 6 week check had it at 11 weeks and I was pregnant by the time I had my check done though to be fair it was a pretty big surprise!!

It did end in M/C no surprise really considering my body was utterly wrecked and I was really anaemic but I was thankfully back to my old self and pregnant again before ds first birthday.

As soon as I woke up after having ds I told my husband 'he's so cute let's have another'

I have two now and would absolutely love another but waa told definitely not to have any more after ds as same thing happened again with dd except I had to have an operation to prevent miscarriage with her too (I am literally the worst pregnant person)

That said If I could have had another baby even now I would but I would never risk another pregnancy. If I'd had another baby I would have had it within a year of my dd obviously providing I could!

I personally wanted 3 children but wanted all the children as close in age as possible I can't really rationalise why except maybe me and my brother are 8 years apart and I felt like an only child growing up because by the time I was 4 he was at senior school and not interested in his annoying baby sister!

Junosmum · 02/02/2016 13:30

Yep, hated being pregnant despite having an easy pregnancy. Labour was the most horrific experience ever (forceps & retained placenta & very long second stage). I adore my son but I have no desire for anymore children, and I love the baby stage.

Problem is that my husband is desperate for a second child. And is devastated every time I say I won't have and don't want anymore.

XingXingFox · 02/02/2016 13:34

Yep! For about a year I wouldn't have considered it! Now expecting DC2 next week! (DC1 is 3.5)

Needmorewine · 02/02/2016 13:43

Me DD is 2.10 and I still haven't changed my mind. Life with one is great

Miffy1979 · 02/02/2016 14:00

Yep, hated being pregnant, labour/delivery was a nightmare.. baby had reflux and and basically just cried for the first 3 months. I somehow forgot all of this, and am now 6 months pregnant..oops! (I had assumed I would have difficulty conceiving) and hating being pregnant again!! But now that DS is a little older I can't wait to see the two of them interacting

Flip

1 2