14 weeks and 5 days - desperate to know gender!! Help

[CharmedMumma]

So i had my first scan today and it was at 14 weeks and 5 days... We asked if it was a he or she and the sonographer wouldnt say 😔 We tried to figure it out according to the nub theory but cant seem to tell... Perhaps there is someone out there that can give is a good idea of whether its a boy or a girl?? Please help??any ideas??

I had a private scan at 16 weeks to find out what we were having because I literally couldn't wait

Best money I ever spent

By 15eks though there is less of a nub and more of clearer pic of what you're getting.

The nub theory is based on the premise that between about 10-14wks, what will become baby's genitalia is currently a protruding nub which looks rather like a tiny penis. It looks pretty similar in both boys and girls at this stage but by 15 or so wks, boy nubs look more like penises and girl nubs have shrunk back to form the clitoris. So, theory goes that boy nubs point upwards and girl nubs are more horizontal or rather parallel with the spine. Or something like no more than 35 degree angle from the spine or something like that.
But as I said, I think it's less nub and more girl bits you can see here.

No less than 35 degree. The sharper angle indicates boy. For a girl your looking for it to be closer to being in line with or showing a parallel line to the spine. But of course it depends hugely in the angle the baby is lying at.

Nub theory is stupid and a guessing game. Surely a healthy child is the only outcome anyone wants.

If you want to know you should pay for a private scan instead of asking the internet. It's not the purpose of your 20 week scan either. That's your anomaly scan.

FFS! Parents who want to find out the sex of their child are no less concerned over the health of that baby. They're simply excited to find out a bit more information about the child they're expecting. And I say that as someone who did not want to find out.

Exactly lentil x

This fucking thread.

I asked in case the OP had a particular reason for wanting to know. But it's not the most important thing a scan can show. Not by a long chalk.

Holier than thou line of thinking. I wanted desperately to know what gender (SORRY, SEX - for the pedants even though everyone knows what you mean) to help me bond with the baby and view her as a real person, who was my child, and not some little alien invader. I was feeling this way despite my baby being very much wanted and loved after TTC for 6 months (I know, only 6 months, check my privilege, right?)

Of course that meant that whenever the sonographer started to tell me the baby's heart looked fine, or her skull was a good size, or there were no visible abnormalities, I covered my ears and went "LA-LA-LA, don't care, not interested, just get to the good stuff please!"

Oh, wait, that didn't happen, because I'm not an idiot.

What actually happened is that I was lying there on the table with my heart in my mouth, and when they told me her nuchal levels looked normal, I cried with relief

When they told me there might be a slight problem with blood flow to the placenta, that we would have to "wait and see and monitor" I cried again. But clearly I'm some heartless asshole for also being interested in the sex of my baby. What a bitch I am.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to know the sex of your baby, and I'm sick and tired of posters saying "Why does it matter? As long as your baby is healthy, right? Why the fuck should you care? What's the matter with you? DON'T YOU WANT A HEALTHY BABY, YOU SCUM?"

I've had this conversation before and I'll have it again, because it happens nearly every time there's a baby sex thread.

We can care about the sex of our baby AND the health of our baby (brace yourself) AT THE SAME TIME. These two things are not mutually exclusive.

Well said goodnight!

Yes I found out what we were having but obviously my main priority was that he was healthy.
You are allowed to know that they're healthy and what sex that are* rolls eyes*

Well quite!
Why do we bother to go to parents evenings or read school reports? I mean, as long as they come home safe every night who cares if they're doing well or struggling. Why bother going to a showing assembly and beaming with pride? I mean, as long as they're in school and learning what does it matter?

Thanks Nanny :)

Nothing wrong at all about being excited and wanting to know OP! Yes being healthy is more important but you also.are. allowed to be excited about your new arrival and guessing the gender is half the fun! I was the same as you, bursting to find out. Surely an overexcited mum is better than one who couldnt care less? That wait for the 20 wk scan feels very long but it will.arrive quick.enough. just be prepared that they may not be able to tell you but you can book a scan to find out quite cheap and if you go on sites like Groupon you can often get even more discounted rates. :)

Just seen goodnights post, could not have put it better and fully agree!!

That looks like a girl to me.

If you go on the internet and say you're 'desperate' to find out the sex, you will get a few people, probably some of whom have had some shit things happen to them where babies are concerned, who will think you're being silly. Not many people, because most of us just slope off somewhere else and stay schtum like we have to do during a lot of conversations. But they are entitled to their say and I don't think anyone's been 'unkind'.

I definitely don't begrudge anyone excitement and interest over the sex, but 'desperate'? I think if you'd said curious I might not have given it much of a thought, maybe just a bad choice of word. I wish you well OP.

I think that looks like a girl x

Thanks for all ur input with the odd few that have been unneccessarily MEAN. Anyway i have my reasons for wanting to know some of which I have stated...thanks for trying to guess.. I suppose u dont know REALLY know until little one is here...health has always been and will always be most
Important to any parent!!!

eastegg I have strong feelings about the daft "am I pregnant?" threads that crop up on this board. It's been suggested to me that I "keep schtum" on the matter, which I've taken on board. I suggest people who want to piss on the chips of mothers wanting to know the sex of their baby do the same.

As I have pointed out REPRATEDLY, there has never, ever, not even once, been an instance of a pregnant woman asking to know the sex of her baby while at the same time not giving a flying fuck about the health of her baby. I have every sympathy for women who have struggled to conceive or lost a baby, but they are bizarrely conflating two completely unrelated issues: health and sex of baby.

The implication that you should be grateful you have a healthy baby has nothing to do with wanting to know the sex. No mother has ever said, "Well, kid's got (horrible disease) but I don't care, IT'S A BOY!"

Nobody is saying people can't have an opinion, you might see a post and think the word 'desperate' is a little OTT but to go on the thread and make a mean, holier than thou comment is not helpful and the only purpose of it is to put the OP down and make them feel bad. I can't see any other purpose than that, and therefore it comes across as spiteful. Perhaps that is not the intention but OP isn't trying to upset anyone and the comments she has received are unnecessarily unkind so please try and have a sense of perspective.

Get a grip and wait.
They didn't tell you at the scan because they didn't look. It is VERY difficult to see at that gestation, and they were busy looking to see that your pregnancy looks normal.

You must be very naive to be so 'desperate' to know. I'd be desperate to know the baby is growing correctly and no anomalies are picked up at 20 weeks.
FWIW, those giving an opinion who have no training or knowledge whatsoever. It is a poor image and not even truly sagittal, so I suggest you take it as 50/50.

Just caught my delightful typo I meant "repeatedly", obviously.

Ffs, what did I JUST say?

Jen, you're right, it's spiteful and designed to shut the OP down and make them feel bad for asking.

Mine are older and we resisted the temptation to find out. There was something miraculous about it in fact. Indeed ds2 didn't make it at 27 weeks and all I wanted was another boy. Was convinced there would be another boy and didn't countenance a girl. I think I'd have been disappointed at 20 weeks especially as I was grieving still throughout the pg. The minute she was put in my arms it was instant love. I think it's nature's way of making miracles.

And yes, the most important thing, believe me, was a healthy baby but I think I 'd have had difficulty accepting a girl at 20 weeks.

I don't think people are trying to be unkind but it's complicated and perhaps nature works in wonderful ways on its own to make up for some of nature's unwonderful ways.

There is something very very special about finding out at the birth. I can't explain it but am glad we waited.

That works for you. It doesn't work for everyone.

There is SO much hostility on this board towards women who want to find out / did find out the sex of their baby. Completely unjustified.

I'd day girl as well

Well said goodnight!

To those who've jumped in to belittle the OP for asking an entirely harmless question that she's more than entitled to wonder about I hope you've succeeded in making yourselves feel big and clever.