HELP! I'M SHIT AT HYPNOBIRTHING!

[ThirtyNineWeeks]

I am 39+2 and my second baby is due on Thursday. My first baby (she is 22 months old) had to be dragged out by forceps after a 17-hour labour and an epidural (and lots of screaming and gnashing of teeth and telling the midwife - who kept calling me Zoe, which is not my name - to 'fuck off and get me someone who's over eighteen!'). I also had an episiotomy and retained placenta. Nice.

I am determined to push this baby out of my vagina by myself. In order to do this I need to avoid the epidural which (I believe) led to my forceps delivery last time. In order to avoid this I have opted for a midwife-led-unit birth with birthing pool and unicorns and kumbaya on the MP3 (I draw the line at clitoral stimulation; that's what got me into this bastard mess).

Against my deepest, primal instincts I have been practising hypnobirthing, but I simply Do Not Believe It Works. Can you help me believe? Do I really have to swallow the gumf about visualising my perinium folding outwards like a rosebud when my baby is crowning? My hypno-natal CD tells me to imagine the nicest beach I've ever lounged on but that was a needle-strewn stretch of grit at Pontins in Southport circa 1982.

I get the stuff about the breathing. I think. I understand that deep intakes of oxygen are nourishing for the cervix and that baby will benefit from my spiritual gasps. BUT.. the colossal problem I have is that I simply don't believe in my ability to squeeze a baby out of my vagina all by myself. It really upsets me that, despite having birthed before, I don't know how it feels to shout: 'It's coming! It's coming! I feel like I need a shit! My baby is COMING!!' like all those toothless fishwives on One Born Every Minute. I don't know what it feels like to have that 'bearing down' sensation. I missed all of that thanks to the epidural.

Will the midwives + birthing pool + visualising Pontins really get me through? Do you have any tips for bearing the pain at home until I'm, like...8cm? How do I stop screaming with rage each time the Mongan Method tells me that even the final stage of birthing should not be painful, but glorious? Why do midwives shout, 'Push! Bleddy push!' when the Mongan Method says the baby should surge itself if I'm wearing the correctly-coloured hessian tankini?

Please tell me I can do this. And how...

I kind of see hypnosis not as the "put yourself in a trance and you won't know what's going on/you're acting like a chicken" type of crap, but more a relaxation and visualization technique.

It's pretty much practicing being calm, and imagining what will happen, going through it step by step in your mind while relaxed.

Then when it comes to the actual thing you will know how to relax, and feel more in control, because you've practiced it in your head.

Ooh i gave birth in nov after my waters broke. Very light contractions for 24 hours and then had to be induced with pitocin. 0cm to 10cm in 45 mins and baby out with 3 pushes. Painful yet amazing experience. None of the hypnobirthing imagery did me any good so never mind not reading the books. I primarily used a depak chopra breathing technique ....breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, breathe out for 4 counts and hold again for 4 counts. And repeat! You need to concentrate to do it and the distraction plus the effect of the deep breathing got me through it plus gas and air was great...best of luck so exciting for you!!

Thank you, so much, for coming here to support me. Bags are packed, make-up on and contractions every 5 minutes so far. They last approximately 40 seconds.

What do you suggest in terms of when to go to the birthing unit? Really wish I'd opted for a home birth...I just don't want to leave home

..Just to add, I started contracting at approximately 3pm, which is 7.5 hrs after waters broke.

How long does it take? I'd contemplate now to avoid rush hour bitter experience

Would it freak you out to have a home birth now? You could ring and ask if there are enough community midwives to come out to you?
I had a HB and it was awesome being at home and relaxed. Quiet. Silence. No people bustling around me.
I think you could go in now and they'd check you, they might send you home though. Keeping my fingers crossed for you x

Thank you for being here. I can't figure out what are contractions and what is a deep and seemingly-non-stop lower back/buttock surge. There seems to be a bowling ball on my rectum and the contractions are sometimes 5 mins apart and at other times 3. They always last 45 seconds.

Just rang birthing unit and they're happy for me to stay home until the contractions are 3/4 mins apart and lasting a minute.

I simply don't believe I'm anywhere decently dilated. I'm coping - but I can't be sure that's not because I've suffered so much pelvic pain these past months.

I live a four minute drive from the MLU.

I'd better get on with gist-reading Birth Kills....

Dontbuy, the only thing stopping me from ringing the midwives to ask for a homebirth is the thought of using their lovely birth pool.

You can stay at home, they are obliged to send someone to you if you don't want to leave. Hope all is going well.

Just stay until you want to get in the pool. It's great you're so close

Whatever the reason - you're coping :) I'd stay mobile, stay at home until you really want the pool. Maybe tell yourself you're going to a safe place to have the baby and you will be looked after, etc?

I waited at home until like I felt like I wanted to go to the MLU, if you see what I mean. Midwives also advised to stay until I "wasn't coping" (whatever that even means!). I was 6cm when I arrived. So with contractions as regular as yours, don't tell yourself that you aren't dialating, because you will be.

Oh my god I'm so excited you.
I went from 2cm at 8pm to giving birth at midnight so it can be quick.
I felt the bowling ball at about 10.30/11.
I know it's different for everyone but you might be more advanced than you think.
Have you got a tens?

Sounds like you are doing great. Regular contractions must be doing something. I am hoping that no updates for the last 2 hours means you are progressing nicely and might even be in the MLU by now! Fingers crossed for you!

AAh, haven't been on all day, how exciting OP!! Hope you've got babe in arms by now!

My friend's, I DID IT! I BLOODY DID IT! I got to the MLU at 5.45 and I was 6 cm dilated. Really struggling with rising panic but I just kept breathing in for four then out for (a longer) four and the gas & air was brilliant.

My sister was here by complete accident and it just felt like having a doula. All I visualized was the mountain. I gave birth in the pool forty minutes after arriving at 6cm!

Going home soon and will post photos. Can I thank you all for your confidence in me, your kindness & brilliant, spot-on advice; you really do know what you're talking about

Oh..and his name is Ezra and he is 7lb13oz. I'm so happy! And I feel dead clever!

So quick! Congratulations

You are bloody clever! Well done missus! Congratulations

This is so lovely, well done and congratulations! I love the name Ezra

Wow - congratulations! Thanks for posting from the MLU! Are you going home tonight then? So thrilled you had such a different experience to first time.

Definitely need to see a picture of little Ezra as payment for the advice !

Yaaaay well done. How lovely :)

Congratulations

Wow! Well done :D so happy for you! Xx

Woo hoo, congratulations. So pleased it worked out so smoothly for you.

Yaaaaaayyyyy!!!!! Well done 39 you're awesome!!
Congratulations