Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Breastfeeding in public

58 replies

Cnmorgan13 · 07/01/2016 13:50

soon(ish) to be first time mum hoping to breastfeed. I was wondering more so in the UK do people really care about nursing in public as in strangers making comments or being asked to use the bathroom in a restaurant. Does this really happen nowadays?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Micah · 07/01/2016 14:43

I bf two. Only comments i had was from my bloody mother. "You cant feed in here, its a naice restaurant", "you'll have to go to the toilet, theres men". I fed anyway and nobody else bothered. The men, being yorkshire farmers, would probably have been more than used to milk and baby mammals, and would have been more offended at the thought of paying for it, when you can make plenty for free!

Personally i liked to find a quiet corner, for a bit of peace and quiet, and to stop dc trying to have a nosy.

sepa · 07/01/2016 14:45

I completely agree that it's not simple 'whapping your baps out' I'm just quite clumsy in things that I do and REALLY hate people looking at me (even if it is a slight glance)
I'm not saying I won't do it because my babies needs will come way before my nerves or overreaction of what others think. Just worried about it - the same way I am of Drs etc looking at my fandango when I give birth to the baby (again, I know that they are uninterested in that and only the baby but it doesn't stop the nerves)

HairyLittleCarrot · 07/01/2016 14:57

As others have said, if YOU want to be discreet, then fine.
If not, then fine.
In our multicultural and diverse society there are plenty of opinions held by people as to what others should wear/say/do/cover/be seen doing in public, and people are of course entitled to their opinions privately, on the understanding that BECAUSE we live in this society we accept other people's freedoms to go about their business.
You do not OWE anyone their misplaced idea of respect if that expectation involves restricting a perfectly reasonable and legally protected freedom.

Like feeding your baby uninhibitedly, free from harassment.

mackinnonka · 07/01/2016 14:58

Glad to see that most people haven't had any bother, I am hoping I won't have any negative experiences. Although I will probably try and be as discreet as possible just so I feel comfortable more than making anyone else feel comfortable.

I remember my sister having someone say to her that she should feed her wee girl in the toilet or out of sight and she just responded with "Would you eat your lunch in the toilet?" - that soon shut them up

PrimeDirective · 07/01/2016 15:25

I never had any comments from anyone in the year I breastfed mine.

I preferred tops that pulled up rather than unbuttoning or pulling down but that was for my own comfort and most of my feeding was done over winter so it kept me warmer.

The level of discretion used should be almost entirely down to the woman to decide. I say almost entirely because there is a limit. I have never seen a woman flaunt herself, but my (very pro-bf'ing) mum saw a woman strip off her top half completely to feed her baby in the cafe in the middle of the shopping mall. So the boob that she wasn't feeding from was on display the whole time. I think that was unnecessary - she was just feeding one child. However, she is the tiny minority. For any normal breastfeeding, you just feed when, where and how you need to, if someone doesn't like it, they can look away.

s098 · 07/01/2016 16:03

Sepa , you sound the same as me!! Im so self conscious im really not looking forward to birth or breastfeeding even if it is the most natural thing in the world. Think im goiñg to try and express for when I go out. This is probably quite naïve of me but its what I'd feel more comfortable with

StitchesInTime · 07/01/2016 16:36

The first few times I breastfed DS2 in public were at breastfeeding support groups, so the only other people there were other breastfeeding mothers and their babies and toddlers. I'd recommend breastfeeding support groups to anyone feeling self conscious about the thought of breastfeeding in public.

That really helped me to gain confidence about feeding in front of others, and seeing other women breastfeed also helped me to feel less self conscious, because it really did illustrate just how little exposed breast is visible when breastfeeding (usually you can't see anything once baby is latched on because baby's head is in the way)

TwatTheNinja · 07/01/2016 17:03

Well Over ten years ago I breastfed, I never had any comments about it, half the time people didn't even realise, I would just lift my T-shirt/jumper up, my arm and dc covered my side and midriff. Most people just thought I was holding my baby.

I had a few friends who weren't as well covered still never had any problems. It is very common and normally not issue,

Saying all that, I always felt most comfortable at a local coffee shop that went out of there way to make it perfect for parents of baby and toddlers, 90% of their custom were breastfeeding mums. So having a boob hanging after hastily putting a baby down to grab a toddler from what ever situation they'd got in, wasn't an usual sight

JustMeAndHim · 07/01/2016 17:11

This is so nice to read. Also going to be a ftm this year and this was something that was making me nervous! Thanks all

LBOCS2 · 07/01/2016 17:17

I fed DD to 20 months. The ONLY comment I got was when we were on holiday and I was sitting in a bar () feeding her to sleep so DH and i could have a nice evening playing cards and drinking gin while she slept in her buggy. An older woman came over to me and said "I just wanted to say - well done".

Only comment I got in almost two years of feeding her everywhere. It's massively nerve wracking - I still remember how proud I was of myself the first time I fed her in public - but honestly, the majority of people really don't care.

Micah · 07/01/2016 17:19

Think im goiñg to try and express for when I go out

Expressing is an utter pita, then you have to find somewhere to warm the bottle (harder than you'd think), and what if its not enough, or they want feeding twice? :). You need to sterilise the bottle, express, store, remember to take it with you, get sore leaky boobs when you skip the feed... Far easier just to take your boobs and baby out, one of the big pros of bf.

Plus, the more people bf in public, the more it will become normal, and you might inspire another pregnant lady to give bf a go :)

LilacRain · 07/01/2016 17:23

Nobody has ever said anything negative to me and I'm not discreet at all. I get the whole boob out usually (wrap-dress) and baby pulls off a lot to look around, he's also very wriggly and swipes at scarf if I try to drape it over him.
Having said that, I've just ordered a BF cover (Bebe au lait) as there are times when I want a bit of privacy. Eg on a crowded train or in a restaurant sometimes I prefer to keep covered up. Also milk can squirt a long way so I don't like feeding next to strangers

I've fed in taxis, on buses, in furniture shops, cafes, pubs etc. I often feed in baby-carrier so I walk when feeding.

LilacRain · 07/01/2016 17:31

Oh and sometimes I take a bottle of expressed milk with me, if I don't want to breastfeed in public, eg if I want to enjoy a meal out without BF, DH can then give the bottle. Also handy to carry a back-up bottle if you have a fussy baby who doesn't latch well.

I use a Spectra pump so expressing is quick and easy. Bottles can be sterilised in microwave in a few mins. Breastmilk can be stored at room temp for 6-8hours (or longer if you put bottle in a cool bag). I find it convenient and easy to carry a bottle of expressed milk and there's no need to warm it, most babies will happily drink it at room temp.

DoodleCat · 07/01/2016 17:32

Can add to the positiveness - I've breastfed two children, I fed them whenever they wanted regardless of where I was. Never had a negative comment or look. Have had positive ones though saying how nice it is to see someone breastfeeding their child, similarly to a PP, mostly from older people.

Original poster

Cnmorgan13 · 07/01/2016 17:36

That's awesome, I guess the negative press is just for slow news days. Can't wait to give it a try!

OP posts:

LillyBugg · 07/01/2016 17:43

I fed for 11 months and never had a comment made. It was nerve wracking at first but really no one cares. And they don't even usually notice. Good luck!

LumelaMme · 07/01/2016 17:45

I BF all of my DC for over a year and don't recall a single negative comment from a stranger, but there were some positive ones and lots of 'Ah, sweet' looks from middle-aged ladies (like I am now) fondly remembering feeding their own DC.

I fed on trains, buses, planes; in parks, on boats, in the woods, on the beach, in pubs, cafes, restaurants, shops.

And in the ante-room at a friend's wedding. He was the ONLY person who ever made me feel awkward about it, but as I sat there in solitary state (having declined to use the loos) one of the elderly ladies at the wedding came and said, 'Oh, lovely, it's so nice to see a baby being breastfed? How old? Ah...'

ShoeJunkie · 07/01/2016 17:47

Just wanted to add that I'm feeding ds2 who is nearly a year and ds1 who is nearly four when he thinks he can get away with it In all that time I've never had a negative comment and I have fed everywhere!

Good luck with DC OP!

LallyGirl230 · 07/01/2016 17:56

I have breastfed all five of my children in public you can do it ANYWHERE all you need to do is drape the baby's shawl or blanket over your shoulder if you are uncomfortable that's what l did you don't have to have everything on show and it can be done discretely. Please don't let anyone put you off, breastfeeding is an amazing gift and should be enjoyed and encouraged anyone who is offended by it is sadly out of touch just ignore them l loved breastfeeding please anyone who is in two minds go for it 😊

Givemecoffeeplease · 07/01/2016 18:04

Just to add to the positive experiences! I've fed on planes, the tube, busy London buses. Bollocks to discretion, the baby covers your boob and it's so cold in the UK that I have no desire to flash more than I need. Go for it and good luck!

(Just remembered boob milk squirting onto a business man on an Easyjet flight. He was lovely about it!)

HappyHeart87 · 07/01/2016 18:29

I breastfeed in public all the time and have never had anything other than encouragement and positive comments. I breastfed at an event in a theatre today and a woman actually said "I salute you", which was lovely.

Go for it, OP. The more we do it the more normal it becomes.

lotsoffunandgames · 07/01/2016 18:42

Runner05-you imply bf is something gross to look at so it would put people off their lunch! I agree with laquila. You don't really get a full show, you don't really see anything. Maybe wait until your baby arrives and you have some more experience to judge whether it is gross to watch your baby feeding.

StellaAlpina · 07/01/2016 19:44

Can I ask, does anyone just yank their top down? I'm trying to picture unclipping a bra and pulling a top up and it just seems like there'd be a lot of extra fabric getting in the way

LBOCS2 · 07/01/2016 19:46

Layers. I'd wear a tshirt with a vest top underneath, so I could pull tshirt up and vest down so I'd have a clothes sandwich with a nipple poking through the middle :)

goodnightdarthvader1 · 07/01/2016 19:49

What a lovely thread

Glad to hear so much positivity around BFing.

Flip

1 2 3