smoking..

[Minniemouse94]

Thought I'd post here to say this is my 5th day of not smoking and I feel so brilliant knowing my child is benefiting from this!
Any mummies to be who are still smoking, have faith in yourself! You're stronger than you think!

you post something on an open forum, on the world wide web, regardless of what category it goes in or under, you open yourself up to critique, opinions and thoughts on what you've posted, whether you want it or not and regardless of the topic. Everyone's entitled to their opinion, even if others "don't find it helpful" (whether it's unhelpful or just not what they want to hear is another matter) or find that opinion negative. It's life.

The message those posts send is that MN is not a place to come for support in quitting smoking while pregnant.

I disagree. Posting on a pregnancy board on MN with a vague thread title and no acknowledgement that "I know it's shitty, but I've been smoking for 26 weeks but finally managed to quit, yay" at all is not the way to go about getting support.

Besides which, there are stop smoking boards on here. This was not the best place and / or approach for the OP.

Well as someone previously said everyone knows smoking during pregnancy isn't recommended. This was very much the place the place to post, it's about quitting specifically due to pregnancy, it's like having to put lighthearted in thread titles, it shouldn't be necessary but some people are just hell bent on on finding fault with others.
Topic - pregnancy, Title - Smoking
The clues really are all there.
You are still missing the point that this thread was posted to also offer encouragement and support to others going through similar.

OP ignore the pathetic comments you are getting from some on here.
Just remember, You have stopped. It does not matter how far into your pregnancy you are. You have done it. And e-cigs are fine.
15 years ago I had the odd ciggie when pregnant and yes I knew it was wrong but I did it!
My DS is very healthy and fine. I bet half of this lot knocked back wine whist pregnant and considered it ok.
Ignore them, people pretend to be holier than thou but they are not.
For you

Darthvader why are you trying to police where people post? This is about pregnancy if she posted on quitting smoking boards OP may have been told to post in pregnancy.

Well done OP, keep it up

Pay no mind to the judgey posts. I think you've committed the cardinal sin of being addicted to nicotine rather than food.

If you were overweight or obese, I doubt you'd get half as much judgement despite the risks to pregnant mother and baby.

In fact I know you wouldn't.

Well done, OP! Everything I've read suggests that the most damage is done in the third trimester, so you should feel happy you've avoided that.

Goodnightdarthvader do you think you rule the roost on here?
Do you think you are in charge and can tell people what to do?
Are you bullied at home? Therefore you bully, but behind a keyboard.
People have done worse things than smoke whist pregnant.
And the fact that there are people on here who have had miscarriages etc has nothing to do with this thread and its not the OPs problem.
Stop being nasty for goodness sake.

Ah well, there ya go OP, not enough of the old sackcloth and ashes routine for some folks

• The thread is on the pregnancy board
• The thread title is smoking

It's surely not that hard to work out what the thread would be about. Did some of you just click on it to make sure she was ashamed enough? Personally I'm really chuffed that OP has disappointed you on that score. Most smoking and pregnancy threads start with 'please don't flame me ...' and I find it incredibly sad to read that time and again in a forum that is supposed to be supportive and make parents' lives easier.

There's nothing wrong with the OP's approach, or where she chose to post. It's not the first thread about smoking in the pregnancy topic and it won't be the last, given the 12% stat. I hope other pg women who are struggling to quit will see her supportive message and be helped.

Yes I'm well aware there is a stop smoking topic but it's not as busy as pregnancy, OP might not even have known it existed and a thread on pregnancy and smoking is surely appropriate for either topic. I'm one of the people who asked MNHQ for a stop smoking topic. A big part of the reason for that request was because there are so many judgmental, unhelpful arseholes on MN when it comes to this subject.

Oh it's alright to be a dick because the op posted on the web. Okayyyy then.
Please don't use other people's pregnancy issues to bash the op. I've had three miscarriages and it's likely I will never have another child.
Does that give me a fucking excuse to be a knob? No it doesn't.
Are you all the type of people that would berate a poster considering abortion because some people are desperate for a baby. Ffs.

Well done op. Not rtft but agree with everything said by mud etc on first page, and worra on last page.

Its hard, but if it's any help, I found 'smoking' a pencil, or straw helped after meals, with a coffee etc when it was more habit than nicotine that made me crave a cig.

Also, how one person copes with withdrawal and addiction habit breaking has no bearing on how another person is equipped to do so,

Well said

Clearly some individuals have forgotten that mums net is for advise and support! I get that people are annoyed at this post, but for Peres sake don't comment if you are just going to put someone down. This is ridiculous, and as previously commented half of you probably had a glass of wine or two, which personally I disagree with but do I slag you off and put you down, no! Grow up, and get off mumsnet if this is how you behave. Op I do think you should have quit earlier, but honestly I'm proud that you quit at all, as some in educating people forget to understand smoking is an addiction and you beat yours. Keep this up, and ignore irrelevant people.

Good for stopping. Keep it up!
I watched a documentary before being pregnant that said with each puff of a cigarette it's like trapping the cord to your baby's supply.

So when I got pregnant with my first, I just couldn't do it. It helped that I felt sick, then after he was born I didn't go back to it because...ugh, still made me want to puke.

I feel it's worth pointing out that OP alluding to "what if I only just found out I'm pregnant" is not true: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/birth_announcements/2440087-How-did-you-all-do-it

That would date her at knowing about 5-6 weeks of pregnancy according to my quick calculations.

Well done for finally stopping, OP.

Also, full disclosure, I don't drink (ever - I have a stomach condition), smoke, take drugs (except doctor-approved medications), and have done everything in my power not to ingest or do anything that will harm my baby. I do have the occasional cup of coffee though. I don't think I'm wonderful for doing so, and I don't expect praise for it. I appreciate that these things take effort and willpower to follow through on, and it's great that she's finally stopped. Long may it continue.

I'm also not trying to bully anyone or "rule the roost". It's a public forum, where people have opinions and a right to express them. If she wanted nothing but praise, she should have stuck to telling her FB friends.

Also, full disclosure, I don't drink (ever - I have a stomach condition), smoke, take drugs (except doctor-approved medications), and have done everything in my power not to ingest or do anything that will harm my baby. I do have the occasional cup of coffee though. I don't think I'm wonderful for doing so, and I don't expect praise for it.

So why tell us?

It makes no difference to anyone here what you do/don't do when pregnant.

And I'm sure the OP couldn't give a shite either.

I'd say the stress of this thread has sent Minniemouse back on the fags!!

i met a friend for lunch yesterday (we are both 34 weeks) and she was going on about how brilliant she was for quitting her 2 coffee a day habit... all the while she was swigging a can of diet coke- which has both aspartame AND caffeine and a lot of other nasties. I kept my mouth shut- but my point is, we are consume stuff that is bad for us during pregnancy. Obviously smoking and drinking would be considered Class As, and i'd never engage in either (other than the odd celebratory glass of champange, of which i've had 3 this pregnancy i think) but 'let he who is without sin cast the first stone' folks

The thing is this could have been a supportive thread without judgement where other pregnant women could have been helped.
A few posters just have to have an opinion though.
People need to realise that what pregnant women so with there bodies is nothing to do with anyone else.

I'm certainly not perfect (I stopped smoking when TTC and haven't smoked since) but I wouldn't choose to hit the Internet to tell people about the 'benefits to my baby' of five days off the fags if I'd smoked for six months of pregnancy. It's a public forum- everyone's entitled to an opinion and that just happens to be mine. If the OP has kicked the habit for good, that really is great but painting it as a triumph for her developing baby after six months of exposure to unnecessary toxins just doesn't do it for me. I'm forever googling if particular cheeses are made from pasteurised milk, worrying about toxoplasmosis if I'm concerned about something I unwittingly ate that could have infected me, stress out about prescribed meds I needed to take in the first trimester so I accept that I'm probably on the anxious side of the spectrum and less likely to consider the OPs position as a success story.

It is a success story though. Can't people understand that really just because someone's pregnant it doesn't mean we have a right to publicly judge and condemn women for what they do with there own bodies.

*So why tell us?

It makes no difference to anyone here what you do/don't do when pregnant.

And I'm sure the OP couldn't give a shite either.*

^Yep.

Well a lot of people 'hit the internet' to say they've lost a few pound of weight when they're pregnant, and they normally (quite rightly) get praised for it and encouraged.

They're rarely jumped on from a great height, about getting pregnant before getting themselves down to a healthy weight.

Everyone has their demons, nicotine just seems to be the one that draws out the claws more when it comes to pregnant women.

Possibly because there are more overweight adults than smokers, or possibly because pointing the finger at others takes their mind off their own misgivings.

car I stopped when ttc. But neither of us are op, so it's irrelevant, and doesn't magically convey perfect parenting qualities on either of us, or make anyone who stopped earlier a superior person to op. Maybe your anxieties will be passed on to your child, and you'll struggle with things op finds easy. Who knows? Point is nobody is perfect by everyone elses standards in every aspect of child rearing. I wouldn't tell a parent who had problems in any other area sleep/ feeding/ daily routine/ toddler tantrums etc they didn't deserve praise for making changes because I had managed it from the start. Smoking is no different.

(Not actually criticising you car, or saying your anxieties will cause a problem. Just using it to make the point that none of us are perfect)

And 100% with worra on the weight.

She never said she had only just found out she was pregnant she said what if, it's pretty sad to go searching for pervious posts..

Lots of people (me included- repeatedly) have congratulated/said well done to the OP for stopping smoking for five days- I think it's just the lack of acknowledgement about the damage done so far that seems a little irregular. It just doesn't feel like a balanced representation of the situation the op and her baby are in. I don't think anyone is after the sackcloth and ashes routine- but the OP felt a little removed from reality. As others have said- if there was a sense of appreciation/understanding of the issues caused by smoking for the majority of a pregnancy I don't think there would have been a single critical response (certainly not from me, anyway).
Totally get that an anxious personality could be genetic/passed on through exposure so I take daily steps to mitigate my slightly stressy approach to life. I wasn't in any way trying to imply that I've 'got pregnancy right' just that I might not consider the situation the OP is in as a desirable one because of my tendency to err on the side of caution.