being asked about previous pregnancies

[Brightside65]

I had an early termination 14 years ago. Something I didn't tell anyone about and was 100% right for me.

I haven't told my husband and in all honestly don't think I should, my medical history before I met him is my business.

I was also concerned when we fell pregnant that I would have to declare to midwife about my previous pregnancy but I would do this and ask for info to be confidential. I knew I definitely need to declare it because I'm Rehsus negative blood and have had and will need anti d injections.

Cutting long story short I will be going to booking appointment myself and will speak to midwife. However I had to go for early scan during the week as I had little bleed. The hospital asked on phone my medical history and if I had been pregnant before I said about abortion and asked if this would be asked again I was told yes at booking appointment. I went for scan next morning sat in room with my husband and midwife said " this is your 2nd pregnancy" I said no I was so shocked, I spoke to her later when husband was out room and I was so annoyed.

I do not want to be worrying my whole pregnancy about this being brought up. Can I ask midwife for it not to be written in my book/ notes?

Also have a family member who works in maternity and told me she had seen my medical file while processing - it's causing me anxiety surely my medical history is my business this is 2015 not 1950.

I have o- blood and have to have anti D injections too. I think I got told it's because we can only have our own blood, that if that babys blood is a different group to us & we have a bleed during pregnancy our body will create anti bodies. So the injection is to prevent this from Happening. My Ds was o+ so I had to have an Injection after I had him too.
I find it all confusing but here is some info. Hth
www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Rhesus-disease/Pages/Prevention.aspx

Unimaginative that's a thought about complicated labour. Again I don't want to do anything to harm baby so need to speak to midwife and take advice.

I don't know about every single area of the country -but I don't know of one where a miscarriage many years ago would move you onto higher monitoring. Are you sure your friend hasn't had multiple consecutive miscarriages and is keeping it private?

Thank you for info about rh neg.

I need to find out the significance of 1st pregnancy and 2nd when you have rh negative blood. If I don't tell them I was pregnant before what impact does this have - will I receive more injections? Or does it not matter?

From what I've read is that so long as I got the injection after last pregnancy then that's fine for the next, the issue is if you don't get the injection and you fall pregnant again but I had the injection and capable to telling doctors this.

Libraries - I'm not sure, she miscarried 4 months ago and now 7 weeks pregnant she attends early scan next week and extra midwife appointment before 12 week scan.

Again going down the miscarriage route I would struggle with both lying to midwife and husband I'm terrible at lying. Fine at keeping secrets though

I think the issue is if you choose to have someone with you for your medical appointments then the assumption is its Ok for them to hear your medical information relating to this pregnancy.

And yes in labour etc it can come up, I think the issue re blood group is you needing the anti d and so if you bleed or bump yourself etc you may need the injection? I had bleeding in this pregnancy and so they checked my blood group to see if I would need it. I was on my own at this appointment but only because dh was at work.

Unless at the start of each app you go in on your own do the questions etc then he can come in for the scan or whatever? But if you take him with you they assume they can ask questions, gp over medical history with him present as you have chosen to take him with you.

It is a pita op, but not sure what you can do about it.

Early pregnancy monitoring is generally if you have had multiple miscarriages.

I wouldn't say there is any reason why this would be an issue during this pregnancy but I would say they do need to know just incase.

Not suggesting you lie. just a gentle comment that your friend may have been through a lot more than she's letting on.

That's true libraries, could be something else.

Husband would really only be coming to scans with me, all other midwife appointments is something I'll go to myself. But the worry is now there it will be mentioned at scans and when I go into labour

I agree with 5Mad too. Realistically, if it came out in labour , how bad would that be? If the answer is awful, you might want to tell him. HCP will not make up a story and usher him out if he's in the room when the question need asking urgently in labour.

I agree re: labour but I would be interested to know information about an early termination would have on labour by that point 15 years later.

That said I'm not medically trained so it could have.

I think just now it's to do with the ante D injection I received.

Iv had to have the injection again through my current (2nd) pregnancy.
I imagine you will need to have it with your pregnancy too

I haven't had a termination and I was asked! Something to do with my cervix not be favourable.

I'm pretty sure I was asked 'is this your first pregnanacy' at most appointments.

I'm now tempted to say it's my 1st but ideally I need to speak to a midwife to ask reasons why I need to declare and impact on this pregnancy especially around rh neg blood.

I'm in the same situation as you OP. I had a termination when I was much much younger which my partner doesn't know about. It's just a part of my past and my history which is long ago and which I don't feel the need to share with him. I'm currently 7 weeks pregnant and had an early scan the other day due to suspected ectopic (scan was fine btw ). He accompanied me to scan and I was asked if it was my first pregnancy and I replied that it was. It also feels as if it is iykwim as this was planned and I'm older and wider.

I'm also rh negative but have no idea if I've ever received an anti-d injection.

Have no intention of mentioning my termination to anyone if I make it past 12 weeks as I don't really see how it could be relevant?

Dontkillmyvibe that's really good news scan went well! I feel same way I was planning on speaking to midwife about it but now thinking I won't say unless medically it would have impact or harm baby.

I don't know masses about anti d,but from friends I thought you needed the injections regardless whether you had them after a first pregnancy.

If you need anti d and don't get it, your baby can be at risk.

But it is relevant, that's why they ask. They don't ask these questions for fun and the blood group thing can affect antibodies and has an impact on treatment such as the injection etc.

I absolutely understand thst you may not want to and nor do you have to share private medical info with anyone, husband or not but if you take someone with you to a private medical appointment then you are choosing to allow them to be there where this type of thing can come up.

I'm assuming that they would test my blood again and that I'd mention that I think I'm rh negative. No need to mention that I know this as a result of a termination 14 or so years ago in my opinion! I can't imagine how not mentioning a termination would harm the baby as they do all the tests that they need to anyway.

Thanks re the scan - just the next 5 weeks to get through until I can relax a bit!

'm also still annoyed at midwife asking infront of husband, also asked about previous sti's, I didn't have any but again I've worked in sexual health and these are very personal questions and not something you would necessarily share with partner.

I mean this in a nice way but these are completely normal things people do normally share with their partners.

I would actually (I'm not a man btw) be really shocked if there was something like this my dp hadn't told me.

But obviously it's you're relationship and what you do is up to you. I would just go with telling the medical staff that this is your first but you have kind of shot yourself in the foot by declaring it as now if you "correct" them it will cause confusion and someone may refer back to the notes saying it's not your first IYSWIM.

*your

Regarding anti d - I would ensure I told them I was as they would know from my blood.

I would be interested to know the relevance of the injection in 1st pregnancy to the 2nd.

I'm rhesus negative and my DD was positive so I had the anti d injection post birth. This is because during labour your blood will mix with the baby's and your body will automatically build up antibodies. It doesn't matter so much in the first pregnancy, but if your body has built up any antibodies from the first pregnancy then they can start to attack a baby's blood in subsequent pregnancies.

I have no idea how a previous abortion would affect a future pregnancy. I just know the above. As my DD was positive the anti d post birth should have prevented any antibodies being built up. Your blood will be tested, I assume they also test for these antibodies as standard.

Notreveling I had told them initially on the phone I was pregnant before so the midwife just corrected my notes when I said it was my first. I assume this would be the case if I choose to tell midwife at booking appointment it was my first

Again I will only do this if I know all the facts surrounding relevance of 1st pregnancy that ended at 4weeks

My friend was given all the jabs anyway,because of the possibility of an early miscarriage you didn't know about or people lying because they hadn't told their partner. May depend on area?