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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Inappropriate things said to pregnant women

59 replies

polexiaaphrodesia · 09/12/2015 14:54

I seem to be a magnet this week at work for inappropriate pregnancy-related comments!

So far I've had someone tell me that they weren't sure if I was pregnant or just putting on a lot of weight, someone else tell me that 'I knew you were having a boy because boy babies make you ugly' (thanks pregnancy acne!!)

And someone else tell me that they hoped I'd picked someone rubbish for my maternity cover otherwise I might have too much to live up to when I came back if they turned out to be better at my job than me!

Please make me feel better by sharing the 'lovely' comments you've received!

OP posts:

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doodlejump1980 · 09/12/2015 23:00

I had twins 10 months ago. I had a number of people tell me that THEY had been pregnant with twins but one of them died. WHAT THE ACTUAL? SO upsetting.

frillybiscuits · 09/12/2015 23:17

That's awful doodle! When I was 3 months pg my mum randomly told me that I had a twin that died in the womb and I ate it. I think she was referring to the absorption process. It makes me feel a bit funny thinking about it

April2013 · 09/12/2015 23:52

testicle your in laws sound like mine!

possum18 · 10/12/2015 00:02

I'm pregnant with twins and a waitress told me (during lunch) that she had twins who died, but her daughter also had twins and her stomach muscles burst open but after 7 years the scars were beginning to go down

Reebok · 10/12/2015 01:16

Pregnant with my second. Suffer from hyperemesis. A colleague said to me the other day 'don't have anymore children. You clearly can't do pregnant.' Thanks! Just what I need to hear when I feel so rubbish anyway!

'Is that all you eat? How do you expect baby to grow?' Another comment from another colleague...erm yes that is all I can eat but considering I survived on crisps for ages I've made bloody good progress and baby is absolutely fine thank you very much!

I haven't put on weight anywhere except my bump which is at almost 20 weeks very visible...not huge though. Lost weight everywhere else...'are you sure you're not having twins? That's a big bump!' A comment from yet another wonderful colleague...yes I'm sure there's only one! I think a sonographer would have picked it up by now! Yes I work with insensitive assholes!

elliejjtiny · 10/12/2015 10:55

I've had 5 children so had a load of stupid comments. With DS4 I had too much water so people were quite insistent that I must have got my dates wrong or be having twins. DS4 was a month early so with DS5 the "haven't you had that baby yet" comments started when I was about 28 weeks pregnant.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 10/12/2015 12:29

My fav:

"I'm pregnant!"
"Aww... Are you pleased?"

WTF. And of course all the asshole comments about how my life is over and I'll never have holidays or rest of sleep ever again.

Flackgirl · 10/12/2015 13:18

I'm 32 weeks - a (fairly young and possibly not very diplomatic) colleague said to me the other day "You're quite big, aren't you - is that ALL baby or.....?"

Presumably the rest of that sentence was going to be "or have you been stuffing your face too?".

Cue long stony silence

I'm not that huge, honestly!

possum18 · 10/12/2015 13:59

Goodnight the 'are you pleased' one is so much more common than I ever imagined! I've always wondered what they would say if you turned round and so NO!

It amazes me how perfect strangers or even peers can ask such invasive questions. I've had a few ask if getting pregnant with twins was 'natural' or I get a big congratulations and then when mention its twins a big 'oh I'm so sorry that's going to be so hard'

goodnightdarthvader1 · 10/12/2015 14:51

Possum, me too!

BeetlebumShesAGun · 10/12/2015 17:27

Random woman who is in my team, but I never have to interact with, patted my bump this morning and said "you must be due to pop before Christmas!"

Er, no. I am only 6 months pregnant.

"Really?!? Wow!".

Thanks, thanks a lot

SpanglesGalloway · 10/12/2015 17:32

I'm nearly 35 weeks pregnant here are some of my wtf moments....

"Was it planned?"
"Your bigger than I thought you'd be..."/"your very small..."
"I was pregnant bought the pram and everything and lost the baby at 20 weeks..."
"This will be you and dh last christmas alone...hopefully." why?

Southy84 · 10/12/2015 17:47

I got told a couple of weeks ago that I looked like I was about to Pop.... I was 15 weeks :-/ ive also had "I knew you were pregnant your boobs have got massive" and "your belly finally looks like it's overtaking your boobs" ive also been asked whether the baby was planned, umm yes

LouLou030783 · 10/12/2015 19:51

So I'll be 12 weeks tomoz and today got are u sure it's normal to be that big so early (it's my 3rd dc) I just didn't know wha to say

LaPharisienne · 14/12/2015 00:29

At first everyone (colleagues, clients, randoms) asking "was it planned" made me laugh if only because it was so blooming cheeky, but when a couple of close friends asked the same question with a concerned tone to their voices, I started to feel sad.

We're not married, but I hadn't expected even for a second that people would therefore presume it was accidental. I'm 32! He's older! We have known how babies are made for a really long time!

Has massively taken the glow off what was very a happy and unexpected (but only because we thought I was going to struggle to conceive) surprise. Both sets of parents are pressuring us to get married, but now I feel like it would be somehow forced and sad rather than the happy celebration of what is pretty brilliant.

AliceJennifer23 · 14/12/2015 00:56

I'd just started a new job at a hospital and told the senior sister a few weeks into my new role about the pregnancy, a few of her comments whilst she was trying to make me feel guilty.... 'Was it planned?' "are you REALLY happy?' and the best one... 'You won't be entitled to maternity pay you know' Oh F* off!

And then the never ending negativity about newborn babies/children in general from sooo many friends and family members. Seriously, what do people expect us to react with?

My partner got told at work by a colleague we're going to have our relationship tested and should be prepared to argue about everything for the first 5 years.

Luvinmummy4eva9 · 14/12/2015 01:21

I got told all the time, 'I can tell your having a girl by the way your carrying' or they would say a boy or when you told them your cravings they thought they knew the sex of bubba. Some people would make rude remarks for 'apparently wasting money' on a few bits of maternity clothing. So what. It's their business why?? I Love being pregnant & embrace it, Love showing off my bump (my youngest baby Daughter is 3 weeks & 6 days old now). One thing I can't stand is when strangers standing next to you look at your bump, start with the 'awwww' phrase & randomly start touching your bump #HANDSOFFMYBUMP

Luvinmummy4eva9 · 14/12/2015 01:24

That is just so wrong on many levels. Why would she say that. That must really have frightened the hell out of you for ages hun. Chin up & congratulations on your twin pregnancy ☺

Luvinmummy4eva9 · 14/12/2015 01:30

Sorry doodlejump1980. I misread. I meant congratulations on the birth of your twins ☺

sphinxster · 14/12/2015 04:25

Have been with my husband for 15 years and well aware of the consequences of not using contraception: "was is planned"

Mermaid36 · 14/12/2015 07:50

then from the ones who already have kids "Ooh, you won't know whats hit you when he's here, your life is going to change beyond all recognition!"

^^This
We've been together for 17 years and only just decided to ttc this year.

I'm 35 - and not stupid, I'm fully aware of the changes that will happen in our lives.

Also the was it planned/an accident line...I've managed to not get pregnant for 17 years, so it's hardly going to be an accident after all that time!

wonkylegs · 14/12/2015 08:07

I have a lot of was it planned / is it an accident comments because when this one is born DS will be 8, I've started being blunt and saying " we were trying for ages and then we had a late miscarraige last year" tends to shut people right up.
I also get the wow you're huge are you sure it's only 1, when are you due? With people now leaning in to touch my bump - grrrrrr
I do have a big bump but I'm only tiny (short and petite) to start off with so my baby's only really have a choice to go outwards as there's nowhere else to go.

LaPharisienne · 15/12/2015 12:39

Glad I'm not the only one! Think AliceJennifer gets the prize though... what a mean woman

PinkPlaid · 15/12/2015 16:24

The comments about how "your life is over now" are getting really annoying

I've also got a well-meaning friend who constantly goes on about another friend of hers who was pregnant 5 years ago, and who is bloody perfect. If I mention anything about my pregnancy, this other friend already did it or had it ten times worse or better than me.

I hate being compared all the time to someone who's so different to me. Argh!

toohardtothinkofaname · 15/12/2015 17:29

MIL keeps describing me as 'fat' instead of pregnant. I'm 37+3 and have been lucky enough to only gain bump weight

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