Things they don't tell you about pregnancy ..... Add on to the list...

[Cheshirehello79]

Now as much as I'm looking forward to meeting my little one and can't wait for the first cuddles, I wish I knew everything about being pregnant. Being my first pregnancy I read most books and took various advice but there's some things no one told me and I wish I knew. I'm a week away till due date but thought I should share this and please feel free to add on as everyone's pregnancy is different.

Morning sickness - God knows why it's called morning as it happens anytime day or night.

Unwanted hairs- hair grows course and shows up various places never grown before and no matter how much you shave come 20 weeks you tend to give up - well I did!

Sleep deprivation- come 36 weeks my days have become nights and nights have become days. Can't sleep anymore even when you try go bed early - it's so frustrating.

Baby kicks- as much as it's lovely and the re- assurance that your baby is happy in there - come 36 weeks - it's no longer kicks - baby foes throw proper punches and it r&£#*in hurts

Sore gums- doesn't matter how good your hygiene is I suffered terrible guns inflammation which is so painful and there's no cure apart from brushing your teeth very frequently

Bump- not every bump takes a nice touch shape it depends how you're carrying your baby so don't be disheartened why some peoples bump are bigger than yours or more round - I only started wearing maternity clothing( at 32 weeks( and I'm average size with so far normal size baby growing inside according to growth scan)

...

Horrendous constipation
Horrendous piles
Pregnancy rhinitis (aka 9 months of a blocked nose)

Varicose veins. In your Vagina.

No book EVER mentioned this bit.

5 more weeks to go, deep breath....

Fanny daggers
Insomnia
CHRONIC Restless legs
maternity clothes can be outgrown!
not being able to eat big (normal sized b4 pg) dinners
not being able to eat pudding after a dinner

You're told nothing about Diastasis Recti, a common condition, caused by pregnancy amongst other things, which persists postnatally and causes un-shiftable 'mum tum' no matter how much weight you lose or exercise you do (and many common ab execises only make it worse!!)

That 'morning' (ha ha) sickness is bad enough, but the state of your knees and your teeth after 5 months of throwing up every day!

I had bruises for months. Months. And needed three fillings

The sudden onset of insomnia from 30 weeks onward.

Horrible calf cramps at night. I dreamt there were snakes in my bed biting me. This does not help with the insomnia.

Bouts of ANGER followed by bouts of TEARS for no reason at all.

There are some good things I didn't know about though:

Fish fingers have become a totally legitimate part of any meal and no-one questions me.

If I eat a big meal I don't feel any pressure to suck my belly in afterwards (nor could I if I wanted to).

Awesome fingernails for the first time in my life.

I have amazing nails too! Only happens when pregnant!

Weird dreams- last night was a corker- I was doing coke with michael macintyre (i have never done coke in my life, and have never met MM either!). My 12yo ds was homeless and sleeping rough. Both of these things seemed entirely normal. I was sneaking another sleeping bag out of the house for ds1 before dh came home and told me off. No idea where DS2 was....

You (probably) will not bloom- i look greasy, pale and tired.

People think your body is public property and ask the most inappropriate questions and touch you uninvited- ugh!!

I got a hairy tummy... It never really disappeared...

I can smell EVERYTHING. It makes me feel so so sick. I have never got over these aversions even when post birth.

Not being able to wipe your ass properly- or smudging the poo on your ass crack while you try.

Insomnia from the day before I knew I was pregnant. Everyone said to me I'd sleep like a log in the first trimester at least. NO NO NO!!

The grunt. You know that weird hippopotamus noise you make when you try to stand up, sit down, roll over, bend over or just generally move

You only get weighed once and mainly on your 8 weeks booking appointment and mainly most of the midwives do is fill in paper work unless you highlight an issue.

Nasty injections called clexane that you have to inject daily on thigh or tummy to prevent preeclampsia in my case or some are prescribed because they have preeclampsia ( in other words blood thinners)

Making sure you take a wee sample ever time you go see midwife or scan and they little pots they give you are quite a challenge! Like me I always asked for an extra pot and did it at home instead of hospital much more comfortable.

Taste buds no longer taste the same - can't believe anything sweet taste vile in my mouth now - hope this goes quick as a
I miss a nice fudge cake with cream

Get yourself a birthball ( yoga ball) it's the best and practicing your gravity positions early is a bonus

Pregnancy vitamins- don't bother with pregcare unless they are on offer ! Just buy cheap supermarket brands they all do the same thing

If you live down south apply for your free mind the bump badge - it's ace and free!

Crying over everything (yesterday's was an alarm going off)

The feeling of being greasy (hair and skin)

The worry over the baby (will they find anything at 12 week scan, why can't I feel baby kick, is baby right size)

Being scared when you see the + test (wanted and planned baby and still pooped my pants)

You don't suddenly get waited on hand and foot

Think that's all mine! Hehe

Rhinitis
Nosebleeds
SPD
Gestational diabetes

That some of your pregnancy symptoms will be frankly baffling. I developed excruciating tenosynovitis in both wrists, necessitating the wearing of wrist supports for the last 3 months. I remember weeping to DH that I couldn't even wipe my own arse properly

Farting - I wasn't a particularly farty person pre-preg but I am shocked by mine (and secretly impressed in equal measure...)

Iron tablets - I miss the ability to poo normally. Said tablets may have contributed to my first point.

Sickness - projectile on occasion, but throwing up all over my feet and sobbing in the shower while DH cleaned up was a particular low point.

Crying - I'm not a pretty crier. I've sobbed over ridiculous things, I know I'm being daft and that makes it worse!

Oh my god

The heartburn. If I can't cope with this pain (it makes me cry it's so bad) how will I give birth???

Fanny daggers

The crying. For no reason

Discharge. I feel like I will slide off the sofa, it's minging

Cramp in middle of night

Feel the size of an elephant and that I'm dragging a herd of elephants behind me

I'm another on the clexane injections. Pah!!!!

The farting. I could power a wind farm off the coast of North Wales it's that bad

Skin tags got them all over my boobs and neck despite exfoliating and having facial and body scrub twice a week !

The sudden realisation at about 36 weeks that the baby has to come out and that means shoving it out your fanjo. Caused a panic attack that did, and I studied biology!

Dropping everything with butterfingers and not being able to carry anything as wrists useless, not being able to balance anymore, or stretch up.

Insomnia.
Waddling, and having to stand up and squeeze pelvis before stepping made everything so slow.

Hobbit feet.

Burping when talking, really loudly, as the baby kicks your stomach.

And the comments, the endless fucking bingo comments from fuckwits everyone and their dog.

SPD.

Rosace.

Itchy nipples.

Desperately needing to pee by the time you reach the end of your road, even though you went two nano-seconds prior to leaving the house.

Its early days for me yet, but I agree about being able to smell EVERYTHING! I can even taste my own teeth.

the infuriating pulsing of your own heart beat in your ears when trying to sleep...made worse by the fact you're meant to sleep on your side!

That I would be roasting. I am still sleeping with the window open and the summer duvet because I am so hot all the time. The heating in our office is really dodgy, but while everyone is sitting there with their coats on, I walk around in a t-shirt

I remembered the increased discharge from my first pregnancy. What I didn't remember was the pungent smell! DH assures me that it's only me who can smell it, but honestly, it is disgusting. There's nothing wrong, no infection, no thrush, but I had to resort to wearing panty liners to absorb the wafts coming from down below.

My sense of smell generally seems heightened this time round, can't walk past shops like Lush. Bleurgh.

My boobs touching my bump (this is my biggest woe, bigger than SPD)

SPD from 27 weeks

The farts

The piles.
The snoring (I have never been a snorer except when preg, when I was loud enough to wake myself up ).
Carpal tunnel which lasted for a couple of months after birth.
The need to wee so often, starting at around 2 months. And later, the inability to hold it in when coughing, unless bladder was pretty much empty.

That you get really good at picking things up with your toes.

Sex becomes hilarious, just changing position mid way is a massive challenge.

How many hours of your life will be spent waiting at scan appointments, for blood test results and for MWs (I was prepared by pregnancy #3 and read an entire trilogy, mostly in waiting rooms or on a hospital bed with a FHRM over my bump).

That you can get normal illnesses while pregnant..appendicitis is fairly bad at the best of times, factor in a pregnancy and it's a whole lot more scary!