Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Doctor made me feel like shit.

69 replies

sammyjayneex · 01/10/2015 10:49

So went to doctors to start maternity care because I've just found out I'm pregnant and again I told him what I wanted from the off. He then asked how many children I already, I told him and his reply was '' and you wanted more?''
I didn't want a lecture. I told him I wasn't here for lecture on how many children is acceptable to have and he's like' oh we ask these standard questions' but his tone was horrible and intimidating. Left feeling quite upset. Are they allowed to speak to me like that? And did I deserve it because I've had another child when its not deemed acceptable?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Only1scoop · 01/10/2015 12:06

Line under it Op

You probably won't have to see him much now as midwife will deal with appointments I guess.

JawannaDrink · 01/10/2015 12:09

So you cut him off and were rude to him, yet you're complaining about a non-existant lecture about having too many children even though he didn't know how many children you have?
I repeat my get over yourself. Presumably he did his job and referred you for the services you demanded? Thats what he's there for, stop moaning about his tone

Whoknewitcouldbeso · 01/10/2015 12:11

I'm now intrigued by how many children you have

perfumedlife · 01/10/2015 12:12

Maybe he is concerned for your health OP. You said on another thread you had health worries and struggled to cope. Would he not have that on his screen? I read your symptoms and think you really need to have B12 tested. It can affect your thyroid function and cause breathlessness and palpitations.

PoppyBlossom · 01/10/2015 12:15

How many children do you have?

Original poster

sammyjayneex · 01/10/2015 12:19

I wasn't rude to him
He was rude to me from the start I actually tired to laugh off the fact I was waiting downstairs like and idiot and smiled then he was abrubt and in my opinion rude for the next appointment

OP posts:

Original poster

sammyjayneex · 01/10/2015 12:19

Sorry *rest of appointment

OP posts:

sizethree · 01/10/2015 12:21

Why are you avoiding the question about how many children you have?

Original poster

sammyjayneex · 01/10/2015 12:21

I have 4 but I don't see how it's relevant as I'm not stupid I know another will be hard work but I'm prepared for that. Just because i already have 4 it doesn't give anyone the right to be judgemental as long as I look after them proper and they are loved I don't see how anyone should have the right to judge me.
I look after my kids well and they are very well looked after.

OP posts:

Original poster

sammyjayneex · 01/10/2015 12:22

Maybe because too many people are making me feel wrong and judged. I've answered the question below.

OP posts:

stuffthenonsense · 01/10/2015 12:24

OP I think you're getting an unnecessarily hard time here. From what I can see, the surgery failed to tell you where you should wait for your appointment, the gp should take issue with the staff not you, you went in order to arrange your maternity care and stated this fact from the outset, of course you should tell him what you want! How else would he know? Conduct an interview? Your pregnancy care is your choice and unless there are clear reasons for otherwise it should be what you want, there are guidelines stating this as fact! The question 'and you wanted more' AFTER you'd already told him the circumstances was really not needed and if I had been asked that question id have given him a word or two along the lines of him being there to provide care not opinion and judgement. best wishes with the rest of your pregnancy and enjoy your expanding family, large families are amazing.

Original poster

sammyjayneex · 01/10/2015 12:24

I've been tested for the most vital things apparently and it's all normal which is good obviously lol. But it he GP was concerned for my health he could have just said so but he didn't and he shouldn't be concerned because according to them every thing is normal and there is nothing physically wrong with me unless they are hiding something from me.

OP posts:

PoppyBlossom · 01/10/2015 12:25

Ultimately we don't live in utopia, people make judgements upon others choices regularly. You can only have confidence in your own choices and abilities, and decide if people judging you matters or not.

sizethree · 01/10/2015 12:27

You brought it up in your original post. A few others had asked and I found it weird you were dodging the question.
I don't think anyone on here is being judgemental, but I do think you're being massively over sensitive and blowing pretty much every comment out of all proportion.
Maybe it's pregnancy hormones. But don't go on a forum and e expect everyone to agree with you and to pat you on the back, when actually it's possible not everyone sees the works through your eyes. People are trying to offer some perspective which is something you're struggling to gain at the mo.

perfumedlife · 01/10/2015 12:31

OP that's the second time you have posted 'unless the GP is hiding something from me' and I have to say, it's sounding more and more like a possible B12 issue. Paranoia and palpitations and breathlessness are big features. They may have tested most vital things like a full blood count and thyroid but if they haven't tested B12, you could be missing out here. Pernicious Anemia kills. Do go back and ask if this has been tested and what your result was. Also get iron checked.

KimmySchmidtsSmile · 01/10/2015 12:39

Sam
I would delete this thread if I were you love, as it might get nasty. It did sound like the doctor judged you based on your age, medical history and it being child#5. There would have been access to your medical notes even if you have changed surgery. He was wrong to judge you but probably wanted to check you did not want an abortion.
Good luck with your pregnancy. I couldn't do it, three is killing me, but bloody admire those that can.

Original poster

sammyjayneex · 01/10/2015 12:41

Thanks
Iron was normal I know they checked that
I have some of the results somewhere I'll check the B12 to see if it's on there

OP posts:

Original poster

sammyjayneex · 01/10/2015 12:42

Thanks
I know I was judged. I respect everyone else's view that he could have just been gathering information to offer the correct advice but it's the way he said it and the fact he was nasty from the start. You really would have had to be there to see what I mean I think

OP posts:

Whoknewitcouldbeso · 01/10/2015 12:49

I don't know your age but yes, I would imagine the doctor did judge you, particularly if you're young, have four children and admitted this one was unplanned.

There is a board on the site that covers large families. I wonder whether you might get some support on there as I agree, you will probably not get a huge amount of support on this particular thread.

perfumedlife · 01/10/2015 12:49

I'm not denying your reality sammyjayneex, if you felt he was off with you, I believe you. I just worry for you that your mind is working on the basis of a GP hiding things, rather than the most obvious instead, which is he may have missed something. They're only human. Maybe his heart sank when he knew you were back as he had no answers for your previous symptoms?

Original poster

sammyjayneex · 01/10/2015 13:04

Maybe he could have been concerned for me but would have been nice if he would have expressed this is in a different way.

OP posts:

JawannaDrink · 01/10/2015 13:11

Why do you keep saying you were judged because of how many children you have when you said he asked you if it was your first pregnancy? Both of those things can't be true, can they?

Original poster

sammyjayneex · 01/10/2015 14:36

@JawannaDrink

He asked,

"have you been pregnant before" my reply was yes
The he asked, "how many children have you got" my reply was 4
Then he said ....."and you wanted more......"

no need for the last thing he said

OP posts:

Original poster

sammyjayneex · 01/10/2015 14:37

@ JawannaDrink

That's why I feel judged because of the " and you wanted more" comment

OP posts:

SpaggyBollocks · 01/10/2015 15:01

if this slight, real or imagined, was enough to cause you the emotional pain you describe then my only advice is to grow a much thicker skin. really.

Flip

1 2 3